God was trying to tell me not to get pregnant and I didn't listen

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ellam25

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I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder when I was 18. It made my periods irregular and I was told it’d be very hard to get pregnant. Well I took some pills that helped me ovulate and voilà I was pregnant within a month. Now I love my baby but in a way I’m sorry I had her. I think God was trying to tell me not to get pregnant but kind of threw up his hands and let me. I am sorry I brought my daughter into thus ugly unfriendly world. I am sorry I will have to explain to hr one day the man in the dress in the bathroom is allowed in there cause the president said so. I’m sorry I will have to explain that a mom is allowed to kill her baby if she wants to. I’m sorry that she will be told not to talk about God because it may offered d someone. I posted a previous thread about wanting to homeschooled now I know my decision is concrete after Obamas decision to allow girls to go into the men’s room if they so desire and vice versa.
 
ellam25 said:
I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder when I was 18. It made my periods irregular and I was told it’d be very hard to get pregnant. Well I took some pills that helped me ovulate and voilà I was pregnant within a month. Now I love my baby but in a way I’m sorry I had her. I think God was trying to tell me not to get pregnant but kind of threw up his hands and let me. I am sorry I brought my daughter into thus ugly unfriendly world. I am sorry I will have to explain to hr one day the man in the dress in the bathroom is allowed in there cause the president said so. I’m sorry I will have to explain that a mom is allowed to kill her baby if she wants to. I’m sorry that she will be told not to talk about God because it may offered d someone. I posted a previous thread about wanting to homeschooled now I know my decision is concrete after Obamas decision to allow girls to go into the men’s room if they so desire and vice versa.
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You are completely overreacting and not seeing the forest for the trees.

Your daughter is just a few months old, correct? Could you maybe be overwhelmed with being a new mom and all that comes with it? That is very understandable.

You are writing posts that aren’t entirely rational and based in fear of things that aren’t yet in your reality. You have no idea where life will be for you and your family over the next few years.

Calm down and seek help and support (outside of these boards) if necessary (it is).
 
I wondered about this with your other thread and now I feel like I may have been right. This type of anxiety reminds me of myself after my first and second children were born. I would urge you to seek the assistance of a competent counselor. Your OB, pediatrician, or even primary care physician could offer a referral, or your priest, Catholic Charities, etc.

You should not need to feel this worried. God gave you your child as a blessing, not a punishment. Praying for you to find peace.
 
Rather sounds like it was defect in nature that was treated and now you have a splendid baby! A baby who will know true life in Jesus Christ and his Church - a child who can work against the evil in the world like the early Christians and like the rest of us. We rejoice with you in this new person. In this great gift.

In this child that is called to–as Saint Paul told us:
  • shine like stars in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation (Philippians 2:15).
 
ellam25 said:
I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder when I was 18. It made my periods irregular and I was told it’d be very hard to get pregnant. Well I took some pills that helped me ovulate and voilà I was pregnant within a month. Now I love my baby but in a way I’m sorry I had her. I think God was trying to tell me not to get pregnant but kind of threw up his hands and let me. I am sorry I brought my daughter into thus ugly unfriendly world. I am sorry I will have to explain to hr one day the man in the dress in the bathroom is allowed in there cause the president said so. I’m sorry I will have to explain that a mom is allowed to kill her baby if she wants to. I’m sorry that she will be told not to talk about God because it may offered d someone. I posted a previous thread about wanting to homeschooled now I know my decision is concrete after Obamas decision to allow girls to go into the men’s room if they so desire and vice versa.
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God definitely wasn’t trying to tell you not to get pregnant by giving you a hormonal issue. He doesn’t work that way. Are you saying that God didn’t want you to have a baby because she might be corrupted by the evil world? Hmmm, there is evil in the world, but there is also good. God isn’t going to nuke the planet by making good people not have children!

Do you think that you might have some form of PPD? Is there a nurse you could speak to? I’m not a mom so maybe your fears for your new daughter are justified, but I would be wary about giving into them too much. You can be too overprotective. If you want to homeschool that is up to you, but personally I think that good parenting is the best way to ensure that a child grows up to be a good person, in school or out of it.

Anyway, you can’t lock her up in a tower. Social development is of vital importance. She will need friends and extra curricular hobbies and activities. She will meet these “of the world” people that you speak of. I formed very strong bonds with my friends in high school. I was strong in my faith all the way through. I did have a good group of friends. They weren’t religious but we were all very accepting of each other.

Actually, my greatest faith issues were caused by a) a fear that God might want me to become a nun making me afraid to be close to him, b) exposure to secular worldviews in university and through social media. Luckily I had the ground work done faithwise thanks to my parents 🙂

My point being, do the best you can and try not to worry. The world is not falling apart. Look for the good in it. When my dad told me what abortion was when I was ten, I was a tiny bit confused and I thought it was sad, but that was it. There have been transgender people using the bathrooms they want for years and you rarely meet them - it might be a conversation you never have to have with your daughter. Worrying about the future will just make your hair grey (I’m a worrier though too, so I know what that is like)!
 
ellam25 said:
I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder when I was 18. It made my periods irregular and I was told it’d be very hard to get pregnant. Well I took some pills that helped me ovulate and voilà I was pregnant within a month. Now I love my baby but in a way I’m sorry I had her. I think God was trying to tell me not to get pregnant but kind of threw up his hands and let me. I am sorry I brought my daughter into thus ugly unfriendly world. I am sorry I will have to explain to hr one day the man in the dress in the bathroom is allowed in there cause the president said so. I’m sorry I will have to explain that a mom is allowed to kill her baby if she wants to. I’m sorry that she will be told not to talk about God because it may offered d someone. I posted a previous thread about wanting to homeschooled now I know my decision is concrete after Obamas decision to allow girls to go into the men’s room if they so desire and vice versa.
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Hun, I’m joining the chorus of people who are worried about you. This kind of obsessive and hopeless thinking is not normal. Please, reach out to your doctor, family, husband, whoever it is you trust. You might need a break. Having an infant is exhausting and asking for help can be the bravest thing a mom can do for her kids.

Also, you are going to have a chorus of sad and hard conversations throughout your children’s lives (the dog didn’t make it, our friend is very sick, you didn’t make the soccer team this year). I expect that practically, these, not the ones you currently fear are going to have the most impact on your daily life. Also, on the exact issue, you have 100% gone to the bathroom next to someone transgendered - you are fine and everything will be just fine!
 
God gave you your baby because you were the very best mother in the world for her.

Right now, you need to take care of yourself. Please, get some help for these overwhelming feelings, and ESPECIALLY the insidious–and wrong–idea that your baby is against God’s will.
 
This may be a record: you have seven posters thus far on a CAF thread about parenting, and we all agree. 😉

Please, call your OB or midwife NOW and get some help. Tell them what you’re thinking. Read them your post, if you want. After hours on a Friday? Any decent caregiver won’t mind. Call anyway.

I didn’t. Baby Girl and I survived, but barely; I spent the first ten months of her life a miserable, suicidal, anxious mess. Anytime that anything went the tiniest bit wrong, I was sure that that was it, I’d just made the mistake that would guarantee that I’d be a horrible, horrible parent. (The mistake ranging from “having baby nap fifteen minutes late” to crying in front of her because I was so sad/anxious to scorching dinner…yeah. Gotta love postpartum hormones.) I had constant obsessive thoughts about how I was going to harm her via some bizarre accident, or how “everyone” thought I was a terrible, horrible mother for having a C-section and then not being able to nurse. It was bad; I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and “anyone” includes you!

Call now, and let us know when you have. It’ll be okay. Feel free to PM me, if you’d like. Postpartum depression and anxiety hit about 1 in every 8 moms; you aren’t alone, and feeling as you do isn’t rare.
 
ellam25 said:
I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder when I was 18. It made my periods irregular and I was told it’d be very hard to get pregnant. Well I took some pills that helped me ovulate and voilà I was pregnant within a month. Now I love my baby but in a way I’m sorry I had her. I think God was trying to tell me not to get pregnant but kind of threw up his hands and let me. I am sorry I brought my daughter into thus ugly unfriendly world. I am sorry I will have to explain to hr one day the man in the dress in the bathroom is allowed in there cause the president said so. I’m sorry I will have to explain that a mom is allowed to kill her baby if she wants to. I’m sorry that she will be told not to talk about God because it may offered d someone. I posted a previous thread about wanting to homeschooled now I know my decision is concrete after Obamas decision to allow girls to go into the men’s room if they so desire and vice versa.
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Please seek medical help. Your post is illogical and concerning.
 
pensmama87 said:
I wondered about this with your other thread and now I feel like I may have been right. This type of anxiety reminds me of myself after my first and second children were born. I would urge you to seek the assistance of a competent counselor. Your OB, pediatrician, or even primary care physician could offer a referral, or your priest, Catholic Charities, etc.

You should not need to feel this worried. God gave you your child as a blessing, not a punishment. Praying for you to find peace.
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This. 👍 God never brings a new life into this world as a “punishment”. And post-natal anxiety, though never discussed as often as post-partum depression, is a real issue.

Praying for you. 🙂
 
Ditto on “get in touch with a doctor.”

As someone who has suffered through mental illness, it often makes things seem like much bigger issues than they really are. Remember that Christian women have borne children in times when you could be tortured to death for being a Christian. Your daughter will be fine.
 
God gave you your daughter as a gift from Heaven!!!
Be happy with God’s wonderful gift for you 🙂

And bring her up in the Catholic faith and she will be protected from the way of the world 🙂
 
It is hard to watch the news these days. It can sometimes feel like the world is coming apart at the seams. Sadly, there’s not much you can do except to do your best with your child.

Maybe take a break from the news for a while, as well.
 
I agree wholeheartedly. You need to see a doctor. Sounds like a case of PPD. I think anxiety is normal to experience along with it. As a fellow sufferer through the heartache of infertility, you were very blessed to conceive and carry your precious daughter. God must have wanted her here for an important reason, as He had to work extra hard to get her here! 😉

God bless you! Make an appointment first thing Monday morning! This too shall pass! :console:
 
Please get help. This is not normal. Your baby is a blessing and she deserves a mom that believes she’s a blessing. If God did not want your baby here she would not be here.

The world is not so dark and ugly or even so much worse than it was in years past. Different yes but not really worse. Every generation has its flaws and troubles. Most of what you mention is not anything new. It’s just that now we are acknowledging this is happening and making rules about what can or can’t happen.

I homeschool but you should never homeschool with the intent of sheltering your children. That is not healthy for them or for you. Our children don’t truly belong to us and God created them for this world. Teaching them how to live in this world is our job as parents. Get whatever help is necessary to help you do that job. You and your family deserve that.
 
ellam25 said:
I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder when I was 18. It made my periods irregular and I was told it’d be very hard to get pregnant. Well I took some pills that helped me ovulate and voilà I was pregnant within a month. Now I love my baby but in a way I’m sorry I had her. I think God was trying to tell me not to get pregnant but kind of threw up his hands and let me. I am sorry I brought my daughter into thus ugly unfriendly world. I am sorry I will have to explain to hr one day the man in the dress in the bathroom is allowed in there cause the president said so. I’m sorry I will have to explain that a mom is allowed to kill her baby if she wants to. I’m sorry that she will be told not to talk about God because it may offered d someone. I posted a previous thread about wanting to homeschooled now I know my decision is concrete after Obamas decision to allow girls to go into the men’s room if they so desire and vice versa.
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You wish your daughter didn’t exist because a transgendered person can urinate and deficate in the bathroom of the sex they identify with?
 
ellam25 said:
I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder when I was 18. It made my periods irregular and I was told it’d be very hard to get pregnant. Well I took some pills that helped me ovulate and voilà I was pregnant within a month. Now I love my baby but in a way I’m sorry I had her. I think God was trying to tell me not to get pregnant but kind of threw up his hands and let me. I am sorry I brought my daughter into thus ugly unfriendly world. I am sorry I will have to explain to hr one day the man in the dress in the bathroom is allowed in there cause the president said so. I’m sorry I will have to explain that a mom is allowed to kill her baby if she wants to. I’m sorry that she will be told not to talk about God because it may offered d someone. I posted a previous thread about wanting to homeschooled now I know my decision is concrete after Obamas decision to allow girls to go into the men’s room if they so desire and vice versa.
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Sometimes my wife says the same things, but the fact is the world has always been sinful and corrupt since the Fall of Man.

Some of the things that happened in the ancient world may turn some folks white.

If you do your job as a parent and raise your daughter well, I think she can turn out great! 👍

You already are off to a better start than you think because you see things for what they are.
 
Please, Ellam, listen to what others have said on this thread and seek some help from your physician. It sounds like you have had so much on your plate (from your other threads- moving recently, the loss of a beloved dog, the suicide of an old friend, birth of your first child). The thoughts and worries that you’ve expressed are not normal or healthy for you or your baby. Postpartum depression can be a beast, but treatment can be so very effective.

Getting help for yourself will be the best gift you could ever give your daughter and the best protection you can give your family against “the wickedness and snares of the devil”.
 
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