Godfather Issues

[NoGodfather]

My wife and I recently received a blessed beautiful baby girl. As practiving catholics, we are now planning her Baptism and have come across a dilemna.

Being that, in case something happens to us, we need to trust the care of our daughter to be raised as an educated and practicing catholic. With this in mind, we have only 2 options:

Option 1:
Aunt and Uncle. The problem is, this uncle is Jewish. He also has a newborn child with my Catholic sister and is raising that child Catholic. Honestly, we put more trust in him to educate and raise our daughter Catholic than too many Catholics-on-paper. We have been told, he can go to the classes, stand in and participate in all of the religious ceremonies during the Christening, but someone else’s name has to go onto the Baptismal Certificate.

I find it quite hypocritical that he can perform all of the religious duties but not sign a document? Either he can do it or can’t! We were told he cannot provide Catholic education…end of story.
Is there a way around this? Or are there more reality minded Churches that will allow him to be the Godfather?

Option 2:
Aunt and Aunt. If we cannot have a Jewish Godfather. Our other and only option would be to have 2 of our daughters Catholic Aunts be her Godparents. To this we were simply told…No. It has to be a male and female, with no further explanation. The 2 other males that could be options are another Jew and a very non-practicing Catholic. If the reason for Godparents is to raise the child with the education, understansing and attitudes of Catholicism…then why can’t it be the 2 most qualified persons for that job?

In modern times, not everyone’s family and friends fit into the textbook gender and religious makeup.

Thanks for any feedback or simply reading this and letting me type out my frustrations with our search for a Church that will recognize the Godparents we want for our daughter.

We live in Manhattan, NY if anyone has any Church suggestions.

Warmest regards,
No Godfather

 

[kage_ar]

From my understanding - the Godparents in the church and the legal guardians you name in your will can be two different people. For us, our son’s Godparents are dear faithful Catholic Christian friends. His named legal guardians are faithful non-Catholic Christian family members (we were advised that to name legal guardians who are outside of the family was not reccomended) - these family members would respect our son’s faith while not participating…

As far as the Church’s requirements - from my experience, ONE Godparent must be a practicing Catholic (and in our parishes, they require proof from the Godparent’s home parish that they are Catholic in good standing…), the other may be from another faith.

There are big brains on here who will have official answers!

 

[puzzleannie]

I don’t have my canon law guide at home, but I deal with this every day with parents. the godparents must be fully initiated Catholic adults (baptism, confirmation, first communion) living in accordance with Catholic moral teaching, including Church laws on marriage. You only need one. If there are two, one must be male and one female. They don’t have to be married to each other or even related. They have to be asked and to consent. They do not need to be the same people you have designated as legal guardians should you die. They have to understand the nature of the sacrament and the role they are undertaking, and to this end the parish may require some kind of pre-baptismal preparation class for parents and godparents. Why not have the Catholic wife of Jewish uncle be the godparent, assuming she qualifies in other respects, since obviously were she to be called upon to undertake guidance of your child’s upbringing he would be part of the process. Or you could have her, and any other male friend or relative who otherwise qualifies., but 2 are not necessary.

On you other question, can you shop around and find a parish that agrees to whatever arrangement you want? Probably, would it be valid, maybe, maybe not depending on how “creative” such a dissident or careless parish would be with the matter and form of the sacrament. But is actively seeking loopholes and ways around Church laws and disputing the Church’s authority over the sacraments the way you want to go in preparing to hand on your Catholic faith to your child?

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

NoGodfather:

My wife and I recently received a blessed beautiful baby girl. As practiving catholics, we are now planning her Baptism and have come across a dilemna.
Being that, in case something happens to us, we need to trust the care of our daughter to be raised as an educated and practicing catholic. With this in mind, we have only 2 options:

Option 1:
A Godparent must be a practicing Catholic in good standing with the Catholic Church.

A Christian Witness, must be a Baptized Christian in good standing with their Christian Community.

A non-Christian cannot be either.

Option 2:

Only one Godparent is required. They can be of either gender, but must meet all the requirements of Canon Law.

If a second Godparent or a Christian Witness is is chosen they must be of the opposite gender of the first Godparent.

Canon Law applies to all Catholic parishes of the Latin Rite without exception.

“In modern times, not everyone’s family and friends fit into the textbook gender and religious makeup.”

I agree that not all people want to conform and follow Christ, that is their “free will”.

Also remember that the person(s) who would be guardians of your children are not the Godparents. They are whoever you specify in your wills or other legal documents. If you make it clear to them that you want the childrens Godparent(s) involved in their life if something should happen to you and your wife, one would hope they would honor that.

My suggestion is if the aunts are both qualified as Godparents, one be the Godmother of one child and the other be the Godmother of the other. One could be the Godmother of both by the way.

 

[atsheeran]

Br. Rich and puzzleannie are both right on. Here are the relevant canons:

Can. 872 In so far as possible, a person being baptised is to be assigned a sponsor. In the case of an adult baptism, the sponsor’s role is to assist the person in christian initiation. In the case of an infant baptism, the role is together with the parents to present the child for baptism, and to help it to live a christian life befitting the baptised and faithfully to fulfil the duties inherent in baptism.

Can. 873 One sponsor, male or female, is sufficient; but there may be two, one of each sex.

Can. 874 §1 To be admitted to undertake the office of sponsor, a person must:

1° be appointed by the candidate for baptism, or by the parents or whoever stands in their place, or failing these, by the parish priest or the minister; to be appointed the person must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it;

2° be not less than sixteen years of age, unless a different age has been stipulated by the diocesan Bishop, or unless the parish priest or the minister considers that there is a just reason for an exception to be made;

3° be a catholic who has been confirmed and has received the blessed Eucharist, and who lives a life of faith which befits the role to be undertaken;

4° not labour under a canonical penalty, whether imposed or declared;

5° not be either the father or the mother of the person to be baptised.

§2 A baptised person who belongs to a non-catholic ecclesial community may be admitted only in company with a catholic sponsor, and then simply as a witness to the baptism.

 

[bear06]

Just as an aside…We like to pick the godparents from two different families. It equals more people praying. I pray for my husband’s godchildren and likewise he prays for mine. This is the same for all we have chosen for godparents except one single guy.