Godparent Advice Please

[Intrigued_Latin]

I need some advice.

My Latin Catholic brother and his wife will be baptizing their 3rd daughter soon and he has hinted that he would like me to be the Godfather.

A friend of his wife will be the Godmother.

My wife and I are already the Godparents of their first daughter. My wife is Greek Orthodox.

My wife has not taken to kindly to not being included, neither have I.

I have said to my brother, that he should check with the Church, as I don’t believe that two Godparents are needed at the time of Baptism.

when a Godparent marries, their spouse will automatically by default become the other Godparent.

I suggested that they go with the friend of his wife’s.

I feel though that I’m putting them in an awkward position, by saying that if they don’t choose my (Orthodox) wife and I both, they should not choose me at all.

Can anyone comment on whether two Godparents are required in the Latin Church at the time of Baptism ?

Brad

 

[space_ghost]

…to my knowledge, only one is required… take it from me… if your wife cannot be godmother with you, bow out gracefully…

your brother should understand…

 

[netmilsmom]

Intrigued Latin:

My wife and I are already the Godparents of their first daughter. My wife is Greek Orthodox.

My wife has not taken to kindly to not being included, neither have I.

Why is your wife being so sensitive about it?
She has already been chosen to be a Godmother to one of the children.
I would be thrilled to pieces if another person asked me to be a Godmother again (I have three Godchildren). However, if someone does not, that is their choice.
What do you two feel is the role of a Godparent?

 

[Dr.Colossus]

You are correct, only one Baptismal Sponsor (godparent) is needed. Your wife can certainly attend as a Christian Witness. I don’t think it would be in your brother’s best interests to choose a second sponsor to “replace” your wife simply because she is not Catholic.

 

[netmilsmom]

Dr. Colossus:

You are correct, only one Baptismal Sponsor (godparent) is needed. Your wife can certainly attend as a Christian Witness. I don’t think it would be in your brother’s best interests to choose a second sponsor to “replace” your wife simply because she is not Catholic.

I’m not sure that the Brother is “replacing” the wife because she is not Catholic, but rather honoring the poster by making him the Godfather of a second child.
Of course, I’m not sure of this, but from the parent’s point of view, they may just have extreme admiration for the poster.

I chose my sisters for Godparents, my hubby chose his brothers for Christian Witnesses. It was not meant as a slam to the spouses.

In fact, my middle sister’s husband stood in as a Proxy for my husband’s brother in CA. My youngest daughter considers him a “stepGodparent”. She’s five.

 

[Catholic2003]

Dr. Colossus:

You are correct, only one Baptismal Sponsor (godparent) is needed. Your wife can certainly attend as a Christian Witness. I don’t think it would be in your brother’s best interests to choose a second sponsor to “replace” your wife simply because she is not Catholic.

The “Christian Witness” category is for Protestants. Eastern Orthodox can be actual godparents.

 

[Dr.Colossus]

Catholic2003:

The “Christian Witness” category is for Protestants. Eastern Orthodox can be actual godparents.

I think you are thinking of Eastern *Catholics. *According to the Code of Canon Law:

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:
1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.

Though the Greek Orthodox Church is recognized as having valid Sacraments, they are not in union with the Catholic Church and thus members of that Church may not stand as Baptismal Sponsors.

 

[Intrigued_Latin]

My brother is choosing me as the Godfather and his wife is choosing her friend as the Godmother. Although nothing has been confirmed.

I just don’t see why they’re not choosing both my wife and I as Godparents again, given that we’re already Godparents to their first daughter.

My wife feels hurt and excluded. I don’t think they’re exlcuding her because she’s EO either.

Anyway, I’ve told my brother my position on it, that although I’d be honoured to be the Godparent, if both my wife and I cannot be included, I’ll have to bow out gracefully.

Thanks for your replies.

Brad

 

[netmilsmom]

Intrigued Latin:

My wife feels hurt and excluded. I don’t think they’re exlcuding her because she’s EO either.

Anyway, I’ve told my brother my position on it, that although I’d be honoured to be the Godparent, if both my wife and I cannot be included, I’ll have to bow out gracefully.

I think your wife needs to understand that it is not that she is being EXCLUDED but rather, you are being included.
Rarely does a parent choose a person to be two of their children’s Godfather.

You seem to have made your decision, but I would be honored that my Brother thought so highly of me.
If you take this stand it is actually you that is losing out on a great honor.

 

[Catholic2003]

Dr. Colossus:

I think you are thinking of Eastern Catholics.

No, I’m talking about Eastern Orthodox. From the Directory on Ecumenism:

1. It is the Catholic understanding that godparents, in a liturgical and canonical sense, should themselves be members of the Church or ecclesial Community in which the baptism is being celebrated. They do not merely undertake a responsibility for the Christian education of the person being baptized (or confirmed) as a relation or friend; they are also there as representatives of a community of faith, standing as guarantees of the candidate’s faith and desire for ecclesial communion.

a) However, based on the common baptism and because of ties of blood or friendship, a baptized person who belongs to another ecclesial Community may be admitted as a witness to the baptism, but only together with a Catholic godparent. A Catholic may do the same for a person being baptized in another ecclesial Community.

b) Because of the close communion between the Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches, it is permissible for a just cause for an Eastern faithful to act as godparent; together with a Catholic godparent, at the baptism of a Catholic infant or adult, so long as there is provision for the Catholic education of the person being baptized, and it is clear that the godparent is a suitable one.

A Catholic is not forbidden to stand as godparent in an Eastern Orthodox Church, if heshe is so invited. In this case, the duty of providing for the Christian education binds in the first place the godparent who belongs to the Church in which the child is baptized.

Note: “ecclesial Community” = Protestant denomination, or more generally, a Christian denomination without apostolic succession.

 

[puzzleannie]

in my family, both sides, it always has been common to have godparents who are not necessarily married to each other, and never has a spouse felt offended by not being “chosen”. Your wife may be judging by her own traditions, not realizing she is over-reacting. If your wife is not Catholic she cannot be a godparent for a Catholic child, so if she is angry let her aim her resentment at canon law, not at your relatives.

 

[stbruno]

“when a Godparent marries, their spouse will automatically by default become the other Godparent”

I was trying to understand what you meant by this, and the only thing I could conjure up was that you have a misunderstanding of the role of a godparent. A godparent has no legal guardianship of a child in the event of a parent’s death. To become a legal guardian, the parents must specific it in a legal document such as a will.

The role of a godparent is to represent the community of the church and to help the parents raise their child up in the Catholic faith. If the parent fails to do so, you may by your promise at their baptism step in and take the child to mass, take the child to Catechism, etc.

I hope that clears up why you can have godparents coming from separate families.

 

[Catholic2003]

puzzleannie:

in my family, both sides, it always has been common to have godparents who are not necessarily married to each other, and never has a spouse felt offended by not being “chosen”.

This was my experience growing up Russian Orthodox. My godmother is one of my aunts, and my godfather is another of my uncles, but not the one married to my godmother. My sister’s godparents are similarly situated.

puzzleannie:

If your wife is not Catholic she cannot be a godparent for a Catholic child

This is not true for Eastern Orthodox, as I’ve pointed out in my previous post. The Greek Orthodox wife already knows this, having been the godmother to the first child.

 

[Intrigued_Latin]

netmil(name removed by moderator):

I think your wife needs to understand that it is not that she is being EXCLUDED but rather, you are being included.
Rarely does a parent choose a person to be two of their children’s Godfather.

You seem to have made your decision, but I would be honored that my Brother thought so highly of me.
If you take this stand it is actually you that is losing out on a great honor.

I think you may have mis understood my post. My brother and his wife have chosen my wife and I as Godparents for their first child, so my wife doen’t know why they would not choose her to be included for the 3rd child.
My wife must come first before my family. My brother and his wife should view my wife and I as one unit.

Brad

 

[netmilsmom]

Intrigued Latin:

My wife must come first before my family. My brother and his wife should view my wife and I as one unit.

Brad

Perhaps three Witnesses should be considered in this case.

However, I think your brother is giving you a great honor and looking for the best guides for his child. You and another woman would double the chances of good witnesses. Is she married? Then maybe it is best that you let the child have them as Godparents, rather than emotionally stressing the new parents.

What will you do if they cannot find another Godparent? Leave the child with one or if you chose to take the honor? Would your wife ignore this child? I don’t think so. You seem like good people.

Like I said, it’s rare that we as parents pick the same Godparent twice. You must be very special!!!

 

[Intrigued_Latin]

netmil(name removed by moderator):

Perhaps three Witnesses should be considered in this case.

What will you do if they cannot find another Godparent? Leave the child with one or if you chose to take the honor? Would your wife ignore this child? I don’t think so. You seem like good people.

Like I said, it’s rare that we as parents pick the same Godparent twice. You must be very special!!!

Does a child need two Godparents ?
As far as I know, only 1 needs to be present.
My wife is Godmother to 3 Greek Orthodox children.

 

[ally]

God bless Godparents! The time may come when the Godchild is giving back the spiritual nourishment. My 97 year old Godmother is now in hospice with only a few days or weeks left on this earth. As her Godchild I have taken the responsibility to inform her children to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for her as often as possible. I say it for her at least once a day. She was a Catholic convert over 70 years ago when she married my dad’s brother and has been a wonderful Godmother to me…even though we live on opposite sides of the country.

 

[netmilsmom]

Intrigued Latin:

Does a child need two Godparents ?
As far as I know, only 1 needs to be present.
My wife is Godmother to 3 Greek Orthodox children.

Yes, only one is required, but not prefered.

I’m not sure that the role of Godfather for two of their children is for you. I think you are making a good choice and they are making a good choice finding someone else.

 

[netmilsmom]

ally:

God bless Godparents! The time may come when the Godchild is giving back the spiritual nourishment. My 97 year old Godmother is now in hospice with only a few days or weeks left on this earth. As her Godchild I have taken the responsibility to inform her children to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for her as often as possible. I say it for her at least once a day. She was a Catholic convert over 70 years ago when she married my dad’s brother and has been a wonderful Godmother to me…even though we live on opposite sides of the country.

God Bless your Godmother!

I hope mine remember me as you remember yours!