Godparent dilemma

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ELKnight

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I have a 1 year old and now another baby on the way. The 1 year old hasn’t been baptized yet. I have approached several people to ask them to be godparents, but they tell me to ask someone else. My husband is frustrated and doesn’t think I take Baptism seriously and thinks my standards are too high for godparents. Really I am just asking whoever at this point even if I don’t like them at all because I am desperate for godparents. It is making this whole baptism process so miserable. Isn’t there a some sort of diocese office I can contact to get godparents? I am ready for this headache to be over with.
 
Godparents are there to educate your child in the ways of the faith if you become unable to. They aren’t obligated to raise your child or anything.

Putting off baptism even in the light of finding Godparents isn’t good. I’ve read baltimore chatecism and they would of balked at such an idea.

For better or worse you may just have to pick someone.
 
Ask your pastor if he can recommend someone. I’m sure there must be someone in the parish who would be a good godparent.

By the way, is your husband right that your standards are too high? The Church’s requirements are that the person has to be over 16, fully initiated, and a practicing Catholic.
 
I know the purpose and requirements for Godparents. I picked and asked several people to be the Godparents and they declined because they have stuff going on in their own lives.
I started running out of people to ask fairly quickly because I have only been in the Church for 2 years and I only moved here a little less than 2 years ago. Most of my old friends are agnostics and new friends are Protestants.

Then at a meeting for the Catholic Mom’s Group I belong to (30 moms) I explained my dilemma and ask if anyone would be willing to be my son’s godmother, but no one wanted to be. They suggested that I find a close friend or family member. I explained that I have no close friends in the Church and my Catholic relatives aren’t practicing, but no one believes me.

I told the priest and he said I will get to know people soon and to call him when I had lined up some godparents. That was last year and now he is getting on my case also. I haven’t told my husband or priest about all the rejections.

My husband has relatives that consider themselves Catholic, but they don’t go to Mass or Confession and they are all in inappropriate sexual relationships. I guess that they would be godparents if I asked, but I don’t know if they qualify as practicing Catholics so it would make me uncomfortable. So I am down to them, complete strangers, and maybe putting an ad in the paper.
 
Speak to the director of religious education and or the RCIA director (if they are different people) at your Parish. They will know someone.

Also remember, the Godparent does not have to be in your town, state or country - they can be Godparent by proxy.
 
Again, dealying baptism is considered a very serious matter. I’m not saying you didn’t try but its becoming a very serious matter as your child ages.

You mentioned this to a group. In a group setting no one may want to come forward to be a godparent. Remember you only need one godparent, not two, godparents.

Not telling the priest about the rejections is like not telling a dr you’re sneezing when you want cold medicine. That you haven’t told your husband either is showing poor communication with him, too. It seems that there’s more to this story.

You could go to daily mass, or even go to a old folks home. There are plenty of devout catholics who’d be willing to “adopt” you if you adopt them. On the same token if you pick a young “not really practicing” relative you may have the ability to bring them back in the fold.

And as a final note. It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS wither or not they go to confession. In my opinion that is between you and God, and at most you and your spouse. That they go to Mass is important, but again, your child may bring them close to the church.
 
I’m with Purplesunshine on asking someone in your mothers’ group. Ask one person privately if she would be your son’s godmother. In a group each person may think that someone else will do it so no one volunteers. But if you ask one-on-one it’s different.
 
I would of totally done it for you! Too bad I don’t know you in person. I don’t have anyone to be a godparent to my son either and my son is 6 months. I totally know where you are coming from.
 
I have a 5 month old and he was baptized in Feburary. I too had a dilemma with the God parents. My family is Catholic but no one in my husband’s family is Catholic. I only have 1 brother who is not married. I didn’t know what to do about godparents! Ultimately, of course, we figured it out.
I was told that only one of the godparents has to be Catholic. The other person is considered a witness, and the only prerequisite is that they have to be baptised themselves. The duty of the godparents is to make sure the child is brought up in the Faith- wheather the biological parents are living or deceased. For example, if the parents don’t take the child to mass or CCD, technically it is the right, and duty, of the godparent to do so. However, the godparents do not have to be the same people you would entrust your children to if you and your spouse both died. Those matters should be stated in a last will and testament. The kids DO NOT automatically go to the godparents. I would think that any well informed and devout Catholic person would not have a problem being a Godparent. Unless they, for some reason, think they will have a large task at hand.🙂

God Bless
 
I would tell your husband and priest that people are turning you down. Then perhaps they’ll take your cries for help a bit more seriously. I honestly can’t believe people are turning you down, even your entire mother’s group… 😦 :mad: Tell your husband and priest that you have asked every single practicing Catholic that you know, and they all said no(if that’s true, anyway, it seems to be from what you’ve written). Is there a secretary or director or committee head in your parish who knows all the parishioners, and who could help you pick a good and WILLING person?

I am just finding it SO bizarre that people are turning you down! 0.o I know it’s a responsibility, but honestly, the kid needs to be baptized! :eek: Good luck, and I’ll pray for you and your family.
 
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