Godparent needs advice

[RGA123]

I have a younger brother who is having a very difficult time. He got his girlfriend pregnant at 18. They got married at the urging of my parents. His girlfriend went through RCIA so they could get married in the church. They got through 12 years of marriage but my brother eventually strayed and then left. They ended up getting a divorce (no annulement yet though he is pursuing one). Too many details to write here. They also had a daughter. She is now 13 and being raised by her mother. She is my God daughter. She was always the sweetest little girl but since her parents split I have seen a change in her. She is being raised by the world. At 13 she wears very revealing clothes, spends most of her time texting and on my space, and already has a boyfriend. Her mother seems blind to the damage being done. I just found out that she was punished at school for letting her boyfriend kiss her and “touch” her inappropriately AT SCHOOL! This is a 13 year old girl. I knew before both her parents because I get the mail from her school. Another detail I won’t go in to.
My brother has so much guilt about how the kids are turning out. He struggles with anxiety, depression, and is stuggling to keep a business afloat and support his family.
I just don’t know what to do. She is having her confirmation dinner at my house this week.
It’s difficult to celebrate when the child to be confirmed is being raised by MTV and my space and dresses like a prostitute, her father is living with his current girlfriend, and her mother gets late night visits from an ex boyfriend. I hope they are doing the best they can but I just don’t know what I can do. No matter what wisdom I might be able to impart I can’t complete with what she is getting or not getting in a fatherless home, at school, and on TV and the internet. I am not married so she doesn’t have a godmother that is practicing her faith to be an example. What can a 40 year old man tell a 13 year old girl?

 

[IrishAm]

Tell her you love her. Tell her because you love her, you are worried about her. Tell her why. Tell her you understand and accept her anger at what is happening in her life and that you will always love her even if you don’t like certain things she is doing. Then tell her you love her again . . .

There is only so much you can do in this sad situation. The one thing you can do is be there for her, listen, advise, consul, and then LOVE HER even when she ignores everything you have told her.

Poor little thing is going to have a rough time ahead, I fear . . .

 

[Godfollower]

Tell her you love her. Tell her because you love her, you are worried about her. Tell her why. Tell her you understand and accept her anger at what is happening in her life and that you will always love her even if you don’t like certain things she is doing. Then tell her you love her again . . .

There is only so much you can do in this sad situation. The one thing you can do is be there for her, listen, advise, consul, and then LOVE HER even when she ignores everything you have told her.

Poor little thing is going to have a rough time ahead, I fear . . .

Good advice.

I would also suggest telling her that, no matter what she does, you will always be there for her, even when she makes mistakes and even when she does things she knows you disagree with. Make it clear that you’ll always give her truth to the best of your ability, even when she doesn’t want to hear it, but you’ll always accept her despite her decisions. This doesn’t mean you’ll give her carte blanche, and you won’t participate in wrongdoing, but you’ll be there for her when she needs you.