Godparent problem

[nfpworks]

But there is a big difference between choosing someone who fulfills the spiritual requirements to be a Godparent and then changes in the future and deliberately choosing someone who does not meet those requirements for whatever reason…****

True.

 

[bflochica5]

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No one is “blaming” you. But the other poster pointed out that this is ultimately your responsibility because you made this choice. You seem to be very angry at your brother for doing something that you probably could have predicted he’d do when you chose him. And the point was to illustrate to other people that choosing Godparents strictly because of family pressure hardly ever works out the way we wish it would…**

On the flip side–we did sit down in advance and had a lengthy conversation about this, especially what our expectations were and how serious of a role it was. We reminded him he’d always be the “cool uncle” no matter what and he didn’t need to take on this additional role just to be special in our child’s eyes. We defined what it would entail and gave specific examples of what it meant or didn’t mean to live a truly Catholic life of example. I’m pretty sure we even specifically pointed out, “For example, it wouldn’t be appropriate for you to move in with a girlfriend someday.” And even after all that, he agreed and insisted he was up to the challenge. That’s part of why this hurts; not only am I sad for him that he’s making this choice in general (and all the consequences that could stem from it), it also feels like a personal betrayal.

In any event, I’m leaning toward talking with him about it–not to express anger or criticism, but from the point of view of “It’s always good to have all the facts before making an important decision–and I have some information you may find interesting.” Then at least I’ll know in good conscience that I tried to do something to act out of love and fulfill my role as his Confirmation sponsor. From my experience teaching rel. ed. to teenagers, most of them have never even heard or considered an alternative to living together; they don’t see what the big deal is. I’ll give my bro the benefit of the doubt on this one until we talk and I see what’s going on in his head.

As an aside–it’s sad that this is even an issue between two young people who were educated their whole lives (PreK-12) in Catholic schools and have received all their sacraments up to this point. And I know they’re hardly the only ones. Makes me wonder where we’re all going wrong that this keeps happening.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

On the flip side–we did sit down in advance and had a lengthy conversation about this, especially what our expectations were and how serious of a role it was.

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Again, I hope someone out there can use your experience to make their own choice(s) for Godparents of their child(ren).

If you substitute Godfather with husband it is pretty easy to see how your decision, while made with a good heart and great intent, was not necessarily a wise one.

One has to take into account one’s character and actions (along with maturity…both emotional and spiritual) when making such an important choice. It is very easy to make promises, agree to terms, and really actually WANT to fulfill them. It is another thing entirely to actually live up to them.

But I hope that with your guidance your brother can come to live up to his role as a spiritual role model and that he will listen to you when you try to guide him in his own spiritual life. I pray that he opens his mind and heart to the Holy Spirit and finds his way. He is young, there is lots of hope!!!
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