Godparent question

[Minniem]

Hi all,

I am having a lot of difficulty selecting godparents for our DS. We have someone in mind for the godfather. He is catholic, but is married to a jewish woman. However, I believe he intends to raise his future kids as catholic. I am not sure if he is practicing now or not (I don’t think he is) but he is morally a good person. He has been through all the sacraments and comes from a very catholic family. He could probably get a sponsorship letter from his family’s parish and I think he would be honored to be the godfather. Is it a sin if I ask him to be the godfather if I know he is not practicing? Does this affect the validity of the sacrament?

For the godmother, I wanted to choose my sister who was baptized a catholic but no longer considers herself catholic. I was going to have her be the christian witness along with a catholic godfather. My understanding is that it’s not allowed b/c she is technically baptized as a catholic and can not undo that. But is there any wiggle room in this? She wouldn’t be the catholic godparent just the christian witness.

I talked with our priest and he said as long as our friend could get a sponsorship letter from his parish (he lives out of town) then our priest would accept it and not question it. Like I said I really want to ask this person, but I feel like I am twisting the rules around.

Unfortunately, we do not have many choices for godparents as most of the catholics we know are not practicing. I have a cousin I could ask but I don’t speak with them very often and I doubt they would make the effort to be there for my child in the long run.

Thanks for your consideration and time.

 

[kage_ar]

At least one Godparent must be a practicing Catholic.

Since a godparent will be an example to your child, why on earth would you chose a non practicing catholic as an example unless you want your kid to grow up to leave the Church!

 

[Minniem]

I would like to choose this person b/c I believe they live a good life and would be a good role model for my child. I happen to think that is more important than just picking someone b/c they are a practicing catholic if they have little interest in the upbringing of my child. I know they rules are there for a reason and is it not my job to question them.

I am just having a hard time accepting them. Why should I choose someone who could care less just b/c they are a practicing catholic vs. someone who may not be practicing but still values catholicism and it would mean a lot to?

Please don’t flame me, I am just frustrated at the moment. I don’t mean to sound rude if I do. Thanks for your response, I like to hear everyone’s point of view.

 

[FrDavid96]

I would like to choose this person b/c I believe they live a good life and would be a good role model for my child. I happen to think that is more important than just picking someone b/c they are a practicing catholic if they have little interest in the upbringing of my child. I know they rules are there for a reason and is it not my job to question them.

I am just having a hard time accepting them. Why should I choose someone who could care less just b/c they are a practicing catholic vs. someone who may not be practicing but still values catholicism and it would mean a lot to?

Please don’t flame me, I am just frustrated at the moment. I don’t mean to sound rude if I do. Thanks for your response, I like to hear everyone’s point of view.

Minniem,

No one is suggesting that you choose a Catholic who would “care less.” The problem is that choosing a non-Catholic (which can’t be done anyway) would be asking someone to be a Godparent in name only, because such a person is just not in a position to do what a Godparent does.

Many people don’t understand the role of Godparents. Their role is to support the parents in bringing-up the child in the Faith. Someone who is not Catholic does not have the Faith of the Church, and so cannot possibly pass that along to the child. In philosophy, there’s a saying “you can’t give what you don’t have.” Non-Catholic Godparents (again, an impossibility) can’t give the Catholic Faith because they don’t have the Faith to give.

I would like to give my nephew a million dollars. Problem is that I don’t have a million dollars. What if I gave him a check instead? Would that be the same thing? It would look good on paper, it would express my generosity, but in the end, it would be meaningless. It’s the same thing with calling non-Catholics “Godparents” It might look good on paper (if one can trick the pastor into doing it) but it’s meaningless.

 

[Phemie]

Sadly, at the baptism that was celebrated this morning, the godmother and godfather couldn’t stand to be near each other. They are married to each other but she left him for a much older man less than a year after their wedding and her lover accompanied her to Mass.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

We have someone in mind for the godfather. He is catholic, but is married to a jewish woman. However, I believe he intends to raise his future kids as catholic. I am not sure if he is practicing now or not (I don’t think he is) but he is morally a good person. He has been through all the sacraments and comes from a very catholic family. He could probably get a sponsorship letter from his family’s parish and I think he would be honored to be the godfather. Is it a sin if I ask him to be the godfather if I know he is not practicing? Does this affect the validity of the sacrament?

First and foremost, no Godparents do not effect the validity of the sacrament.
Secondly, it is not a problem that he’s married to a Jewish woman as long as the marriage took place according to the canons of the Church (either in a Catholic ceremony or with permission to be done in a Jewish service).
If he’s not a practicing Catholic that could be problematic in getting a sponsor certificate. Some parishes won’t give them out to someone who isn’t at least a semi-regular attendee.

For the godmother, I wanted to choose my sister who was baptized a catholic but no longer considers herself catholic. I was going to have her be the christian witness along with a catholic godfather. My understanding is that it’s not allowed b/c she is technically baptized as a catholic and can not undo that. But is there any wiggle room in this? She wouldn’t be the catholic godparent just the christian witness.

She might be able to serve as a Christian witness. It depends on how the pastor wishes to view the situation. She could technically be viewed as a Catholic in bad standing and thus ineligible to be a Godparent. Or she could be “liberally” viewed as a Protestant and be allowed to be a Christian witness. However, if she has animosity towards Catholicism it would be best to choose someone else.

Please note that only one Godparent/sponsor is needed for baptism. You don’t need two. So if you can only find one that will suffice.