Godparent question

[ac_claire]

So we’re having a baby any day now, and we’ve selected my Sister-in-Law to be the godmother. She’s a good practicing Catholic and the only Catholic, period, that we know in town. (We just moved here.)

Now, her husband, my brother, isn’t Catholic so we didn’t ask him to be the Godfather. I know that it’s not technically necessary for there to be two baptism sponsors. So we’re fine with just the one Godmother. BUT my husband and I also have a mutual friend who is an excellent Catholic and we had thought in the past, when we were still courting, that she might make a good Godmother one day. The thing is, she lives on the other side of the country and would probably never or rarely see the baby.

So…first question, is it ok to have two Godmothers in the first place? Second, would it be ok for us to have our friend be the second Godmother/sponsor, even though she won’t be at the baptism and won’t be tangibly involved very much in the baby’s life? If we did this, it would sort of be like an honorary thing. Honoring our friend and giving our little girl an extra person praying for her for the rest of her life, etc. I imagine when she’s older, they might get to know eachother. This friend of ours is one of the smartest, most zealous Catholics we know, so we’d love for her to be in the baby’s life anyhow. Anyhow, this is just an idea. Any advice or am I being silly?

 

[Nicea325]

So we’re having a baby any day now, and we’ve selected my Sister-in-Law to be the godmother. She’s a good practicing Catholic and the only Catholic, period, that we know in town. (We just moved here.)

Now, her husband, my brother, isn’t Catholic so we didn’t ask him to be the Godfather. I know that it’s not technically necessary for there to be two baptism sponsors. So we’re fine with just the one Godmother. BUT my husband and I also have a mutual friend who is an excellent Catholic and we had thought in the past, when we were still courting, that she might make a good Godmother one day. The thing is, she lives on the other side of the country and would probably never or rarely see the baby.

So…first question, is it ok to have two Godmothers in the first place? Second, would it be ok for us to have our friend be the second Godmother/sponsor, even though she won’t be at the baptism and won’t be tangibly involved very much in the baby’s life? If we did this, it would sort of be like an honorary thing. Honoring our friend and giving our little girl an extra person praying for her for the rest of her life, etc. I imagine when she’s older, they might get to know eachother. This friend of ours is one of the smartest, most zealous Catholics we know, so we’d love for her to be in the baby’s life anyhow. Anyhow, this is just an idea. Any advice or am I being silly?

I do not think it is silly,but I believe you are making more complicated then it should be. If distance is an issue,then pick the person living closer to you.Trust me,it should not be an issue for you,since both seem like great candidates. At least you have that option as opose to some couples who cannot find practicing Catholics,other than Christmas and Easter only Catholics. Good luck and congrats with your baby!

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

So…first question, is it ok to have two Godmothers in the first place?

Canon Law does not allow for 2 Godparents of the same sex. There is to be either 1 Godparent of either sex or 2 Godparents of different sexes.

Second, would it be ok for us to have our friend be the second Godmother/sponsor, even though she won’t be at the baptism and won’t be tangibly involved very much in the baby’s life?

Your friend from far away could be a Godparent via proxy, meaning she’ll be the Godmother but at the baptism someone else will stand in her place for her.

Now, on a practical note, there could be 1 official Godmother and then a second unofficial Godmother. Only the official one would in the baptismal record but you’re free to call anyone you want a Godmother…

Hope that helps!

 

[ac_claire]

I do not think it is silly,but I believe you are making more complicated then it should be. If distance is an issue,then pick the person living closer to you.Trust me,it should not be an issue for you,since both seem like great candidates. At least you have that option as opose to some couples who cannot find practicing Catholics,other than Christmas and Easter only Catholics. Good luck and congrats with your baby!

You’re probably right about the making it too complicated thing. And we’ve definitely picked my SiL as the official Godmother- no question there. I only even considered our other friend now as a second Godparent because she’s doing a novena with us re: some health issues our baby might have when she’s born. I think maybe we’ll just keep her on the list of prayer warriors that I have on my phone to send texts to when prayers are needed.

Canon Law does not allow for 2 Godparents of the same sex. There is to be either 1 Godparent of either sex or 2 Godparents of different sexes.

Your friend from far away could be a Godparent via proxy, meaning she’ll be the Godmother but at the baptism someone else will stand in her place for her.

Now, on a practical note, there could be 1 official Godmother and then a second unofficial Godmother. Only the official one would in the baptismal record but you’re free to call anyone you want a Godmother…

Hope that helps!

Probably just the one official Godmother only would be best then. Thanks to everyone for the replies!

 

[bnbkaine]

Your SIL is a good choice for godmother and, no, you can’t have two godmothers. You can use your BIL (your SIL’s husband) as long as he is also willing to raise your child Catholic should something happen to you.

 

[choy]

So we’re having a baby any day now, and we’ve selected my Sister-in-Law to be the godmother. She’s a good practicing Catholic and the only Catholic, period, that we know in town. (We just moved here.)

Now, her husband, my brother, isn’t Catholic so we didn’t ask him to be the Godfather. I know that it’s not technically necessary for there to be two baptism sponsors. So we’re fine with just the one Godmother. BUT my husband and I also have a mutual friend who is an excellent Catholic and we had thought in the past, when we were still courting, that she might make a good Godmother one day. The thing is, she lives on the other side of the country and would probably never or rarely see the baby.

So…first question, is it ok to have two Godmothers in the first place? Second, would it be ok for us to have our friend be the second Godmother/sponsor, even though she won’t be at the baptism and won’t be tangibly involved very much in the baby’s life? If we did this, it would sort of be like an honorary thing. Honoring our friend and giving our little girl an extra person praying for her for the rest of her life, etc. I imagine when she’s older, they might get to know eachother. This friend of ours is one of the smartest, most zealous Catholics we know, so we’d love for her to be in the baby’s life anyhow. Anyhow, this is just an idea. Any advice or am I being silly?

you can also have your brother as a Christian Witness if he’s a baptized non-Catholic Christian. this is only if you have one godparent

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

You could ask your friend to be the child’s sponsor at Confirmation. I know it’s a few years from now but it’s good to be prepared

 

[Kat127]

Canon Law does not allow for 2 Godparents of the same sex. There is to be either 1 Godparent of either sex or 2 Godparents of different sexes.
!

Can you tell me what Canon Law you are referring to? I ask because I have two godfathers but no godmother and the Church never gave me any problems.

 

[choy]

Can you tell me what Canon Law you are referring to? I ask because I have two godfathers but no godmother and the Church never gave me any problems.

Can. 873 There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each.

Its highly probable that your second godfather is an unofficial one

in the Philippines its normal for a child to have half-a-dozen to a dozen godparents. but there is where we call the primary and secondary sponsors, the primary being the official godparents, and everyone else is just ceremonial (there is a cultural reason behind it)

 

[ac_claire]

Your SIL is a good choice for godmother and, no, you can’t have two godmothers. You can use your BIL (your SIL’s husband) as long as he is also willing to raise your child Catholic should something happen to you.

I don’t think we could use my brother even if he were willing to raise the baby Catholic in an emergency because he’s not Catholic. Isnt that the rule?

 

[choy]

I don’t think we could use my brother even if he were willing to raise the baby Catholic in an emergency because he’s not Catholic. Isnt that the rule?

no. here’s what Canon Law has to say (i’ve highlighted those that pertains to your question):

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.

 

[Advocatus_Fidei]

no. here’s what Canon Law has to say (i’ve highlighted those that pertains to your question):

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.

I think you need to think a bit more about the part you underlined, it says he can only be a witness NOT a Godparent, him been a Godparents is excluded quite clearly in point 3 and then reinforced in the second part you underlined, he could be a witness only.

 

[ac_claire]

Ok, I don’t understand your “no” to my question above. What I see from what you quoted (thanks for researching that, btw) is that the Godfather must be Catholic:

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

or:

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.

…he will only be a witness. Witness not being the same thing as a Godparent. My brother will be a witness, btw.

 

[Kat127]

Can. 873 There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each.

Its highly probable that your second godfather is an unofficial one

in the Philippines its normal for a child to have half-a-dozen to a dozen godparents. but there is where we call the primary and secondary sponsors, the primary being the official godparents, and everyone else is just ceremonial (there is a cultural reason behind it)

They both signed the certificate as a godparent so I don’t understand how one can be “unofficial.” Maybe someone goofed…but canon law or no, I do have two godfathers.

 

[choy]

I think you need to think a bit more about the part you underlined, it says he can only be a witness NOT a Godparent, him been a Godparents is excluded quite clearly in point 3 and then reinforced in the second part you underlined, he could be a witness only.

that is what i meant. sorry if i needed to state it clearly and didn’t.

the ones i bolded says that only Catholics can be godparents and the one i derlined says what a non-Catholic but baptized Christian can be in a baptism

 

[choy]

They both signed the certificate as a godparent so I don’t understand how one can be “unofficial.” Maybe someone goofed…but canon law or no, I do have two godfathers.

at this point i don’t know what to say

i’ve been “secondary” godfather to all my godchildren

 

[choy]

Ok, I don’t understand your “no” to my question above. What I see from what you quoted (thanks for researching that, btw) is that the Godfather must be Catholic:

or:

…he will only be a witness. Witness not being the same thing as a Godparent. My brother will be a witness, btw.

i don’t know too. i guess i thought you were asking a question. thats what happens if you are switching between CAF and work

yes, a witness officially has no responsibility to your child (can i say canonically?) as a godparent

but doesn’t mean in actual life that he can’t have that responsibility. especially being your brother

 

[Advocatus_Fidei]

The signing is to say they witnessed the baptism, just like people sign to say they witnessed a wedding, doesn’t mean they are automatically a Godparent, if canon law says there cant be two Godfathers then no one has two Godfathers no matter what went on at the baptism.

If you want two men to fill the role of Godfather to your child that’s between you and them but officially there is only one Godfather just like a person can only have one natural father.

 

[Advocatus_Fidei]

i don’t know too. i guess i thought you were asking a question. thats what happens if you are switching between CAF and work

yes, a witness officially has no responsibility to your child (can i say canonically?) as a godparent

but doesn’t mean in actual life that he can’t have that responsibility. especially being your brother

He would be incapable of fulfilling the responsibility which is why he is not allowed by the Church to be Godfather.

Giving someone a responsibility you know they will fail at is unfair to everyone involved.

 

[choy]

He would be incapable of fulfilling the responsibility which is why he is not allowed by the Church to be Godfather.

Giving someone a responsibility you know they will fail at is unfair to everyone involved.

i don’t believe so. he may not be able to provide the guidance himself, but if he can keep the kid in the straight path in the Catholic faith (reminding him to go to confession, go to Catechism class, etc.) then he’s fulfilling that obligation to his sister.

truth be told, there are protestants who knows far more about the faith than some Catholics. i wouldn’t discount this man as ignorant of the faith, he’s married to a Catholic and his sister is a Catholic as well.