Godparents and Contraception

[jonnyblaze]

Could someone please point me to any resources that would be helpful in determining the morality of choosing godparents that you explicitly know are using artificial contraception/sterilization? Does the Church speak on this issue directly anywhere?

Thanks for the help!

 

[Joe_5859]

From the Code of Canon Law (emphasis added):

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.

Personally, I can’t imagine picking a godparent for my child who I did not believe was a strong role model for what it means to be Catholic. This is someone my child will potentially look to for moral guidance. I want to do everything in my power to make sure that guidance is good.

 

[jonnyblaze]

Thank you Joe.

I agree with you 100%. I am simply torn up about this issue because I am in a very sticky spot here. There is a couple whom I would like to ask to be Godparents but I just found out (really by accident) that they have recently undergone a sterilization procedure. The mother’s health was the motivating factor, which I very much realize is not legitimate, but I do have compassion for such a situation. Furthermore, these are people that up until now would have made exemplary Godparents.

Now, I would love to actually address the issue with them; however, they do not know that I know, and by me revealing my knowledge to them, I would be very likely to cause significant harm between this couple and another member of their family (who “leaked” the information to me).

I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one :imsorry:

 

[greenmoira]

Was it the husband or wife that had the sterilization procedure done? If the wife, she may have a legitimate reason. You should consult with your pastor. You do not have to indicate who this couple is. God bless you.

 

[Allegra]

Thank you Joe.

I agree with you 100%. I am simply torn up about this issue because I am in a very sticky spot here. There is a couple whom I would like to ask to be Godparents but I just found out (really by accident) that they have recently undergone a sterilization procedure. The mother’s health was the motivating factor, which I very much realize is not legitimate, but I do have compassion for such a situation. Furthermore, these are people that up until now would have made exemplary Godparents.

Now, I would love to actually address the issue with them; however, they do not know that I know, and by me revealing my knowledge to them, I would be very likely to cause significant harm between this couple and another member of their family (who “leaked” the information to me).

I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one :imsorry:

It sounds to me like you might not even know if the story is true. If you don’t want to come out and ask them, you can ask them their opinion on the subject in a theoretical way. A “sterilization procedure” could also mean a hysterectomy. This is perfectly acceptable if the woman’s health is at risk. I would try to find out more before deciding.

 

[jonnyblaze]

Husband, which by all accounts that I can find means there really is no doubt this would qualify as a “Direct Sterilization”

Thank you for the advice. My wife actually spoke with the priest who will be doing the Baptism, and he suggested discussing the issue with them. I just don’t know how I can do that without causing significant harm to another relationship.

My gut tells me that it would be best to find other suitable Godparents for this child and continue to pray/fast for an opportunity to discuss this with them, so that at some point they might be able to come to the truth about this situation. Usually, my gut is a pretty good guide and I tend to follow it (so long as it’s not telling me to do something against the Magisterium), but I just want to be sure that I’m not being overly harsh in my judgment that their choice for sterilization puts them at odds with the Church’s teaching and thus may not allow them to be suitable Godparents?

 

[Joan1969]

Thank you Joe.

I agree with you 100%. I am simply torn up about this issue because I am in a very sticky spot here. There is a couple whom I would like to ask to be Godparents but I just found out (really by accident) that they have recently undergone a sterilization procedure. The mother’s health was the motivating factor, which I very much realize is not legitimate, but I do have compassion for such a situation. Furthermore, these are people that up until now would have made exemplary Godparents.

Now, I would love to actually address the issue with them; however, they do not know that I know, and by me revealing my knowledge to them, I would be very likely to cause significant harm between this couple and another member of their family (who “leaked” the information to me).

I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one :imsorry:

Hi Johnny,

I really feel for your situation, since I know that neither the role of godparents nor the Church’s teaching on contraception has generally gotten adequate support within most Catholic parishes for about the last 40-50 years. Not every Catholic can even say they closely know anyone who is practicing the Faith in every respect. Over 90% of Catholics who are in a position to use contracpetives use them, for example. Many more may well explicitly affirm or support their use (for a grown child, for instance), which would also be a violation of the Church’s teaching. So it’s not necessarily just a matter of finding someone else.

Move carefully on this one, and ask the best priest you know to give you guidance. If you think you might be violating a confidence or doing harm to a relationship, then you should act only with a well informed conscience. Maybe the apologists here would have a more detailed reply on what you should do.

God Bless,
Joan

 

[jonnyblaze]

It sounds to me like you might not even know if the story is true. If you don’t want to come out and ask them, you can ask them their opinion on the subject in a theoretical way. A “sterilization procedure” could also mean a hysterectomy. This is perfectly acceptable if the woman’s health is at risk. I would try to find out more before deciding.

Thanks for your response. It is true, there is no doubt about it in my mind and I feel it would be intelectually dishonest to plead ignorance on this one.

As mentioned above, it is the father who underwent the procedure and it was the mother’s health which was at risk (heart concerns and gestational diabetes), so I see no way in which this would not qualify as a direct sterilization that the Church condemns as “intrinsically evil.” I actually fear that they may have received poor advice, both medically and morally, which breaks my heart.

 

[Allegra]

Thanks for your response. It is true, there is no doubt about it in my mind and I feel it would be intelectually dishonest to plead ignorance on this one.

As mentioned above, it is the father who underwent the procedure and it was the mother’s health which was at risk (heart concerns and gestational diabetes), so I see no way in which this would not qualify as a direct sterilization that the Church condemns as “intrinsically evil.” I actually fear that they may have received poor advice, both medically and morally, which breaks my heart.

Is this something that happened recently? Perhaps they have already realized what they’ve done was against church teaching and repented. If you really want them as Godparents, I would probably talk with them about it.

 

[jonnyblaze]

Hi Johnny,

I really feel for your situation, since I know that neither the role of godparents nor the Church’s teaching on contraception has generally gotten adequate support within most Catholic parishes for about the last 40-50 years. Not every Catholic can even say they closely know anyone who is practicing the Faith in every respect. Over 90% of Catholics who are in a position to use contracpetives use them, for example. Many more may well explicitly affirm or support their use (for a grown child, for instance), which would also be a violation of the Church’s teaching. So it’s not necessarily just a matter of finding someone else.

Move carefully on this one, and ask the best priest you know to give you guidance. If you think you might be violating a confidence or doing harm to a relationship, then you should act only with a well informed conscience. Maybe the apologists here would have a more detailed reply on what you should do.

God Bless,
Joan

Thanks for the suggestions Joan. I think there is much wisdom in what you say and I’m trying to take it slow, pray about it and confer with the right resources (both people and written).

The thing that I cannot get over is that sterilization is a very grave issue, and quite honestly the whole issue of contraception/abortion and what it has done to the human understanding of sexuality is what I see as THE lynchpin issue of our times.

I mean, if I found out someone was living a homosexual lifestyle → No way I would feel comfortable asking them… co-habitating → again no way… actively pushing the pro-abortion agenda → absolutely not… This situation feels slightly different in some sense, but in many ways feels to me like an area where I ought not to compromise.

 

[joclucsylv]

I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to judge. What if they were torn about the decision and went to confession. God has forgiven them. So should you. Remember…there is not one of us on this earth without sin.

 

[Bookcat]

From the Code of Canon Law (emphasis added):

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.

Personally, I can’t imagine picking a godparent for my child who I did not believe was a strong role model for what it means to be Catholic. This is someone my child will potentially look to for moral guidance. I want to do everything in my power to make sure that guidance is good.

 

[N_Jude]

I think the fact that it was for health reasons should certainly be taken into account.

On a different note, we all have sins we struggle with. If you recently found out that they were a bit greedy, or kind of gluttonous, or one of them can occasionally be a proud, or rude, or any other sin, would you be unwilling to have them as godparents. Godparents do not have to be perfect, but they should genuinely try to live faithfully to the churches teachings, and be good examples to your child.

A lot of people have suggested talking to them about the procedure; I suggest asking your priest about it. He will either put your concerns to rest, or suggest an alternative that will be far more authoritative than anything here.

 

[Bookcat]

I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to judge. What if they were torn about the decision and went to confession. God has forgiven them. So should you. Remember…there is not one of us on this earth without sin.

If they are still engaged in the practice…it is not “judging them” …but judging the actions that is to take place…the judging of the fitness of their being sponsors…

Past sins --repented sins …are not so much in question…but current practice.

 

[jonnyblaze]

I think the fact that it was for health reasons should certainly be taken into account.

On a different note, we all have sins we struggle with. If you recently found out that they were a bit greedy, or kind of gluttonous, or one of them can occasionally be a proud, or rude, or any other sin, would you be unwilling to have them as godparents. Godparents do not have to be perfect, but they should genuinely try to live faithfully to the churches teachings, and be good examples to your child.

A lot of people have suggested talking to them about the procedure; I suggest asking your priest about it. He will either put your concerns to rest, or suggest an alternative that will be far more authoritative than anything here.

Sure we all have sins we struggle with, but my point is simply that they have entered into a lifestyle choice from which they are required to repent and to actually engage in that struggle. It’s the same difference between choosing someone whom you know has had pre-marital sex vs. choosing someone who is currently co-habitating with his girlfriend. The former would be appropriate but the latter would not, right?

Edit: “…has had pre-marital sex in the past, but has repented…”

 

[jonnyblaze]

If they are still engaged in the practice…it is not “judging them” …but judging the actions that is to take place…the judging of the fitness of their being sponsors…

Past sins --repented sins …are not so much in question…but current practice.

Yes, this is what my conscience cannot seem to get past.

 

[Bookcat]

I think the fact that it was for health reasons should certainly be taken into account.

On a different note, we all have sins we struggle with. If you recently found out that they were a bit greedy, or kind of gluttonous, or one of them can occasionally be a proud, or rude, or any other sin, would you be unwilling to have them as godparents. Godparents do not have to be perfect, but they should genuinely try to live faithfully to the churches teachings, and be good examples to your child.

A lot of people have suggested talking to them about the procedure; I suggest asking your priest about it. He will either put your concerns to rest, or suggest an alternative that will be far more authoritative than anything here.

One must distinguish between venial sins or even repented of mortal sins…or even strong temptations to such…

and an objectively gravely sinful way of life which is objectively contrary to the Gospel…to the Christian way of life. (again see the code of canon law on the subject)

A person known to be practicing contraception is not the person to approach to be the baptismal or confirmation sponsor…or one living with their girl friend…or in a homosexual relationship…etc

As in the early Church …there were certain occupations that simply excluded a person from becoming a Christian …let along being a sponsor for one becoming such.

They needed to repent and live according to the teachings of the Church.

 

[Bookcat]

In addition to Canon Law…

Take for example these lines from the CCC on those who are invalidly married…

1650 … If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities.

Baptismal sponsor is a very serious ecclesial responsibility.

 

[joclucsylv]

If they are still engaged in the practice…it is not “judging them” …but judging the actions that is to take place…the judging of the fitness of their being sponsors…

Past sins --repented sins …are not so much in question…but current practice.

Bookcat…sterilization will always be their current practice. I think the mom and dad need to speak with them. They could be really sorry for doing it and they could have gone to confession.

I have to say guys…I live in a predominately Catholic area with a whole family on both sides of Catholics. My children would not have God Parents is I stood there and judged every aspect of their lives. Like I said…we are all sinners. We are all doing out best. Thank God for the Sacrament of Confession and a merciful God.

 

[Bookcat]

Bookcat…sterilization will always be their current practice.

As I noted…if they have repented…and confessed it (and have thus put their will against it…despising the sin) and have been absolved…and now live a faithful Christian life…that is a different story.

A person who had an abortion is in the same boat…but they too can be restored and can live faithful lives and be excellent sponsors.