M
misspriss
Guest
Godparents are a new thing to me, I am a convert and no one in my family is catholic.
When DS was baptized, it held up his baptism for too long because I didn’t have anyone to be godparents. I finally got the courage to ask the priest (I have social anxiety) and he suggested the deacon and his wife, who were happy to stand in. We have seen them at mass since, but they never made an additional effort to be in DS’s life other than to pray for him, which I was fine with and never knew anything different.
When DD was to be baptized, we actually had the same deacon do her baptism because we got a new priest literally the week before and I didn’t know him, I did the deacon, social anxiety and all. I prayed a lot about godparents and I felt God put a couple in front of me, the RCIA director and her husband. They have both been very good examples of the faith as long as I’ve known them. It was an uncomfortable process for me, but I was happy for them to be her godparents. Now, we attend the same church but almost never the same mass, so we don’t see each other often.
DD is now 13 months, and they have approached me and expressed a desire to be in her life more. I just don’t know what to do? I know every situation is different, I have read on here that many people have different experiences with their godparents. I don’t want my anxiety to get in the way of DD having a relationship with her godparents.
But on the other hand, she is 13 months. She is in a phase of stranger anxiety. She doesn’t like anyone but DH, DS, me, and her grandma. She is even wary of grandpa, and my sister (her aunt) that she sees multiple times per week at home (she visits a lot since she is out of university for the summer). She would not let someone she hasn’t seen much come near her, let alone hold her right now. I don’t even take her to mass often because she is just not at a manageable age, being mobile but not understanding to stay in one place or be still or quiet.
I would love to try and make the same mass as them and sit with them and maybe go out to lunch with them ever so often, but right now DD won’t sit through mass and definitely not with a stranger. I don’t have any hope of her “getting used” to them quickly, as she is still halfway scared of my sister who has been visiting 3-4 days a week since school let out in May. I think it would be better when she is older, like closer to DS’s age (he’s 3 and does pretty good in mass).
I just don’t know the social norms of this type of relationship, since I’m new to this. I’m pretty swamped right now with two kids at home, we are trying to get out house ready to sell and then build a new house. Our weekends are full of projects, packing, etc. I am overwhelmed and I can’t really take on new things right now. Oh and they are both older, both converts as well, and have no biological children, so they probably cannot relate as well to the stresses of small children.
When DS was baptized, it held up his baptism for too long because I didn’t have anyone to be godparents. I finally got the courage to ask the priest (I have social anxiety) and he suggested the deacon and his wife, who were happy to stand in. We have seen them at mass since, but they never made an additional effort to be in DS’s life other than to pray for him, which I was fine with and never knew anything different.
When DD was to be baptized, we actually had the same deacon do her baptism because we got a new priest literally the week before and I didn’t know him, I did the deacon, social anxiety and all. I prayed a lot about godparents and I felt God put a couple in front of me, the RCIA director and her husband. They have both been very good examples of the faith as long as I’ve known them. It was an uncomfortable process for me, but I was happy for them to be her godparents. Now, we attend the same church but almost never the same mass, so we don’t see each other often.
DD is now 13 months, and they have approached me and expressed a desire to be in her life more. I just don’t know what to do? I know every situation is different, I have read on here that many people have different experiences with their godparents. I don’t want my anxiety to get in the way of DD having a relationship with her godparents.
But on the other hand, she is 13 months. She is in a phase of stranger anxiety. She doesn’t like anyone but DH, DS, me, and her grandma. She is even wary of grandpa, and my sister (her aunt) that she sees multiple times per week at home (she visits a lot since she is out of university for the summer). She would not let someone she hasn’t seen much come near her, let alone hold her right now. I don’t even take her to mass often because she is just not at a manageable age, being mobile but not understanding to stay in one place or be still or quiet.
I would love to try and make the same mass as them and sit with them and maybe go out to lunch with them ever so often, but right now DD won’t sit through mass and definitely not with a stranger. I don’t have any hope of her “getting used” to them quickly, as she is still halfway scared of my sister who has been visiting 3-4 days a week since school let out in May. I think it would be better when she is older, like closer to DS’s age (he’s 3 and does pretty good in mass).
I just don’t know the social norms of this type of relationship, since I’m new to this. I’m pretty swamped right now with two kids at home, we are trying to get out house ready to sell and then build a new house. Our weekends are full of projects, packing, etc. I am overwhelmed and I can’t really take on new things right now. Oh and they are both older, both converts as well, and have no biological children, so they probably cannot relate as well to the stresses of small children.