Godparents

[Mamanurse]

I hope I am posting this question in the right place…When we had our son, five years ago, I was not a practicing Catholic and we had him baptized in a lutheran church. We chose some non-religious friends to be his “godparents”. Since then our friends have divorced, moved away and have no contact with us or their godson. Since I have returned to the Church, my Dh is not catholic by the way, I have really wanted to ask my brother to step in as my son’s Catholic godparent. My Dh hasn’t really been for asking any of my family members to fill this role as he still holds a grudge against them for not attending our non-catholic ceremony. (our marriage has since been convalidated by the church) I am thinking about just asking my brother anyways. Since my Dh is not catholic, there really isn’t anyone he is going to want to be godparents. One of the other reasons I would like to do this now is because we are expecting our second child who will have a Catholic godparent, one that we chose together, my little sister, and I really want my first born to have a special person in his life as well.

My question: Do you think it is ok for me to go against my DH wishes as ask my brother to be my son’s godparent? We do not know any other practicing Catholics, so choosing someone my Dh is comfortable with is going to very difficult if not impossible. Advice? Thoughts?

 

[nebraskajewels]

Why don’t you go to your Parish priest, and I mean both of you, to talk about the issue. Maybe he would be more understanding if someone explained the rich traditions in being a Godparent. He will not judge you or your husband, he will simply help.
Also, maybe he would feel better if he took the Baptismal class. You are going to have to take it anyway for your new bundle of joy!
I wouldn’t ask anyone until you are both comfortable, as this will cause tension in the marraige. I think if he educates himself, he will feel okay about your brother. Perhaps he will even convert?! (Maybe your priest could also council on forgivness,) Good luck!

 

[Phemie]

Your son’s godparents will always be the people who were there at his baptism, you can’t change that.

You may certainly ask a good Catholic to assume the ‘role of godfather’, filling in where the real godparents have fallen down on the job but that person would not be recognized as a godparent by the Church.

If you’ve decided to raise you child Catholic instead of Lutheran, your brother could become his sponsor at Confirmation. You need to speak to a priest ASAP because at this point it’s **your **decision, in a few more years when he reaches the age of reason it becomes solely his choice.

I wouldn’t advise you to go behind your husband’s back, but as the previous poster said, have the priest talk to him to explain the importance of a godparent/sponsor and the importance of having a good role model if the godparent is not living up to his/her responsibilities.

 

[Mamanurse]

Your son’s godparents will always be the people who were there at his baptism, you can’t change that.

You may certainly ask a good Catholic to assume the ‘role of godfather’, filling in where the real godparents have fallen down on the job but that person would not be recognized as a godparent by the Church.

If you’ve decided to raise you child Catholic instead of Lutheran, your brother could become his sponsor at Confirmation. You need to speak to a priest ASAP because at this point it’s **your **decision, in a few more years when he reaches the age of reason it becomes solely his choice.

I wouldn’t advise you to go behind your husband’s back, but as the previous poster said, have the priest talk to him to explain the importance of a godparent/sponsor and the importance of having a good role model if the godparent is not living up to his/her responsibilities.

I understand that whoever I choose now will not actually be the “godparent”, but I really want a practicing catholic in my sons life in that role. My Dh is not a practicing Lutheran by any means. In the six years we’ve been married, he has not attended one service and actually has told me that he doesn’t consider himself to be any religion. We only chose the lutheran church because that was the faith he was kind of raised in. And as far as my son getting confirmed one day…well that may be a very long time. My son was born with Down syndrome and the priest we have has suggested it may be a very long time before he may even be able to receive communion due the the lack of understanding. (the discussion was a brief one as we were discussing another issue at the time). While my son is five yrs old now, his abilities range around the age of a 2 yr old.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut and I will chat with my Dh about it. The thing is is that he is so Catholic-phobic, he will probably just agree to let my brother be godparent because he wants as little to do with the Catholic church as possible. The last time we discussed this issue was last fall.