F
Fraz94
Guest
Dear Friends,
Code:
I would like to share with you all the wonderful, amazing grace I received yesterday. I am a daily communicant and a frequent penitent and somebody very scrupulous and very aware of their sins, I have been struggling with many scruples and a "laundry list of sins" and accustomed failings for years, since I started Confessing at about 13- I have never been away from the Sacraments but I was getting to the stage where I was feeling "low" after trying so hard, repenting and failing the Lord again, again and again asking for forgiveness, I know that is how it works but I was feeling very sorry for myself and feelings like a "waste of space"- don't know of any other way to describe it.
Last night I went to a Penitential service in another parish and went to Confession with an older Priest whom I had Confessed to before and had a very good experience with, I also saw him in the Cathedral about a week ago and remembered him fondly I prayed for help with my problems whilst I was in the Cathedral and did not know he was going to be there last night and the Penitential Service. l I am the kind of person who prefers to Confess inside the Confessional and at this service there was a number of Priests who were going to hear Confessions but around the Church, in the side chapels on the Sanctuary etc. I sort of said to myself in my mind I will go to whoever goes to the Confessional (so I would be in my comfort zone) and out of all the Priests this wonderful Priest who I Confessed to before in another Church the other side of the city happened to be there and I saw him go into the Confessional, I believe now that was meant to be!
I was the second person to go in, the first was a Holy Nun and wasn't in there for ages- but he is the kind of Priest who gives a lot of advise and usually when there are lots of Penitents it means everyone has to wait etc. but this Church was having Confessions by quite a number of Priests so he wasn't constrained for time etc...I went in next and had a really "beautiful" and open dialogue with him, something I am unused to because I usually Confess in a large Cathedral with 30 people waiting inline and the Priest just can't give the time this Priest gave me- I really don't know how long I was in there but it was quite a while, it may have been half an hour, it may have been shorter, longer...I really don't know, I felt out of space and time- he was truly Our Lord there hearing my Confession and for the first time in my life I was able to say everything on my mind, my sins, my troubles, all that worried and concerned me and he listened to all of it and didn't tell me to stop of "that's enough" or I was saying too much etc. as some might- he then said that he couldn't discuss it all with me as I had said too much...but then seemed to go through nearly everything I had said almost bit by bit as if he remembered every single word- which I don't even know if I could haha he just gave me such wonderful advise and consolation- I go to Confession a lot and I have never experienced this to this extent and I really wanted to share it, that is if anyone has actually read this far and not thought "ohh no far too long I am not reading that" haha I often think that about other posts God forgive me!
After all the excellent advise and spiritual counsel etc. when he actually gave me absolution it was an experience I hadn't felt in a long time (despite being a regular Penitent) he read the words out, I saw him do it, (it wasn't a very "tradional box" it was a Confessional with a see through window) he didn't say it off the top of his head like most Priests and he read the words very carefully and lovingly, I was very hot after being in the Confessional in my coat for quite a while and was really getting a lot off my chest so I was quite "sweaty" but Father's absolution just swept over me like a Spiritual refreshing shower and for the rest of the evening I could literally feel God's love rushing through me, an experience I have never had- like a Spiritual rush through my whole body. I then prayed my Penance, the Divine Mercy Chaplet and a few rosaries and spent most of the evening in awe and contemplation, I also re-watched a documentary about St. Faustina and it's almost as if the Divine Mercy and St. Faustina mean so much more to me already, I put on my medal of the DM and St. Faustina last night and am wearing it now with Our Lady of Czestochowa (no there is no Polish blood in me haha, just like them).
It feels as if all my troubles and problems have been washed away by Jesus in the Holy Sacrament of Confession and I no longer feel confused or worried about anything, Jesus is my saviour. I have been struggling with many things, one amongst many more serious sins is the liberalism and poor interpretation of the Second Vatican Council by some- even leading me to reject it and support the SSPX and Schismatic Bishops to a point....however that feeling has left me completely in the space of one Confession and a Saintly Priest, I now have no thoughts like that and love Our Holy Father Pope Francis and all my brothers and sisters, Father didn't even dwell on this- but it is like my whole life and all my problems and confusions, scruples have been sorted out by this Priest and I love him for it. He is a Priest in the Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham, I first came across him at the Ordinariate London's headquarters and well I am so pleased with him and myself.
I love God and if anyone is reading this who needs to go to Confession please go, God is loving and merciful- don't worry about anything! Pope Francis says "The Priest will be good to you but Jesus will be better"!!! Trust in God's love and mercy, pray the rosary and the Divine Mercy!!!
AVE MARIA! Thankyou Jesus!!!
I can relate to a lot of what you said, particularly dealing with scruples and interior trials. I also have to go to confession and I’ve made up my mind to go this evening and your words gave me a lot of strength, as I’m usually very anxious about it. I’m in search of a good confessor/spiritual director and I hope I will encounter one as helpful as the one you confessed to. IMO, those who have spiritual trials feel alone and as if nobody could ever understand them, so I’m just imagining how great must have been to confess to someone who really understood your soul.