God's greatest gift a clear mind

[CRATUS]

I ruminate forever on issues. I am a little scared of spiritual writing because of all the depth. There is so much to know. It takes a lifetime to fully master a virtue. My main point I am a very fearful person. I worry a lot. Sometimes that fear keeps me from sin. Often it hampers me from fully enjoying life. I would reject opportunity to go over my former boyfriend’s house at night because I feared of getting in a car accident even though it was a five minute drive. Also a near occasion of sin. It is an hour flight to get home but I fear of a plane crash. I hate that we cannot fully control our lives. I recently learned a high school acquaintance died in a car accident. I am sure he would not want to die that way. No body does. Death is coming for us. Every time I enter a person’s car regardless of it they are good driver or not I think what if we crash. I love traveling by train I feel safe but by bus I think what if this flips over. I thought I had a religious calling to be a sister but I wonder if I just fear real life. How can I gain clarity and peace of mind

 

[christofirst]

A few thoughts: Fear and prudence can both make us cautious, but we tend to have a negative view of fear. I know that fear, or prudence, has kept me out of a lot of potentially dangerous situations through the years. Normally, I wish I was less afraid, but I’m also grateful that my fears sometimes serve a useful purpose. But we must also trust in Divine Providence (like that book by Fr. de Caussade tells us), and not let our fears cripple us from doing good and useful things. I know I am better able to get out and take chances when I feel I am in a state of grace, which can be likened to a divine insurance policy. It can help with achieving that peace of mind. As far as a religious vocation goes, if you are serious, talk with someone already in religious life. You can bounce your ideas off of them instead of having them rattle around in your own head. Another person can help with the objectivity we often lack on our own.

 

[puzzledtoo]

I would suggest that you seek professional help if you really fear all the things you’ve mentioned. I would also suggest that you learn to practice mindfulness meditation as this helps to still the mind chatter so we can gain more clarity.
I agree that you should speak with religious. Just maybe you will find they experience life more fully than the rest of us in the “real world”. Be well-take care.

 

[CRATUS]

Thanks for your advice. I will try to keep calm. I am afraid I will never learn how to drive or travel because I fear a car accident or plane crash. The truth is life happens. There are things way outside of my control. No one chooses or wants to die tragically but that may just happen.