God's plan=Isolation-> Service?

[iwillrisenow]

I’m a convert of four years. I love my faith, wouldn’t budge from it, but there’s one major issue that I keep running up against again and again.

Isolation.

I’m living in the US and from a cultural minority group that is widely segregated from other groups, especially those widely represented in American Catholic churches. On top of that, since I did not grow up in the very insular Catholic world (go to Catholic schools, spent time with Catholic families from a young age, etc.) I feel like a complete outsider when it comes to a lot of the Catholic institutions and organizations.

Worse still…sometimes, it’s like I’m an untouchable in the Church. Literally, sometimes, as in during the Peace.

I don’t know what God’s plan is or why He called me into an earthly family that is repulsed by the sight of me.

I want to trust God’s plan fully, I really do, but…if such a core tenant of our faith is communion with others, this all seems particularly harsh and cruel.

And…of course, I want to believe that I might some day find some other Catholics who care more about the Kingdom of Heaven than living at the right address, having the right kind of job, having money, and looking a certain way in society (not all Catholic groups are like this but, let’s be honest-- many are)…I know you all are out there and God bless you if you truly do aim to live this way (of course, we are all fallible), but I usually meet you at the margins.

Perhaps what God’s really trying to get me to think about is…how can I hang out at the margins more? Where are the places that I, as a single woman (so, safety is a concern) can create fellowship for the others who are being left out?

How about you? Have you ever felt like an outsider in institutional Catholic world (whether it was the parish nearest to you, Catholic school growing up, etc.)? How do you find the margins? I’m not talking about doing this or that because it’s “rewarding” and makes you look like a caring person…I’m talking about the margins. When only God sees.

 

[the_phoenix]

If you lived in Ohio, I’d invite you out for coffee.

As a single woman, I can definitely relate to what you say,
and I’m a cradle Catholic
who has tried time and again to follow the
well-meaning advice to “get involved in the parish” …
in fact, I currently am involved in the parish
and have been for years now.
(Of course, I felt called to the “silent ministry”
of Eucharistic Adoration! … not conducive to meeting people, I know.)

So I go to Church to attend Mass
and go elsewhere to socialize.

I tend to get along better with creative types,
artists, actors, writers, etc.
and striking up a conversation with these types of folks
is much easier for me personally.

My grandfather once told me that
he had more Protestant friends
than Catholic friends …
Grandpa closely followed the Pope.
And so do I.
So who knows?
…

 

[Cricket2]

I know how you feel. You are not alone actually. I did a lot of volunteer work and so did have a sense of belonging via those groups. However, work and family illnesses prevented me from doing a lot of this down the road and I went through a period of total isolation.

Rather than see it as a negative, look at it as a time to be by yourself with God. Pick a nice, but safe place, such as a local park, even the zoo or museum and spend time just enjoying the things around you and being “alone.” Being comfortable with solitude can take a little practice.

I used to go to nice coffee shop or places that served tea just to get out and “watch people.” And do try to find just one ministry you could be involved in at Church that could help you meet people. But hand in there.

Here is an oddity on my experience with this: After being a Catholic for over 25 years now, I can go to any Church and take a seat. And unless it is crowded to the gills no one, and I mean no one sits by me. No, I don’t smell, make dirty faces, frown at people or act a fool. Others have told me I just look serene and always seem deep in prayer.

Don’t worry about people thinking you are pretty or ugly, or anything about your nationality or ethnicity,just be you in the sight of God. And enjoy the solitude. God may be the one keeping you to himself.

 

[Rosarydevotion]

I always felt like an outsider both in the church and out of it. But for me, I know this is my own insecurity coupled with the fact that I am very sensitive. I’m also very introspective and deep and hate idleness and meaningless conversation.

I have found that there are other Catholics on the fringe as you describe and its just a matter of finding them. Here are some suggestions…

Check out prayer groups and go and pray in common with others. It doesn’t matter if they are your kind of people or not, it will bring you closer to others.

You can find a very unique group in those of the Charismatic Renewal movement. Find a prayer group that is local and join. These people are some of the nicest people Ive ever met. Very welcoming.

If your lucky enough to live near a monastery or convent, go and participate in the Liturgy of the Hours with the nuns for fellowship. I go almost everyday and those nuns are my people for sure.

These are all the things I do. Try it! and I hope you find your place. God bless.

 

[GoldenSeal]

Hi, iwillrisenow.

I am a fairly recent convert, plus I have moved around frequently during my adult life. Getting to know people who are well established in their churches is not easy! Though I look like nearly everyone else, I tend to get lost in the crowd.

I would suggest trying daily Mass if at all possible. Often, there are only a few people attending, and it is easier to get to know the faces that show up regularly. Once you are on speaking terms with a few familiar people, you can pick them out in the Sunday Mass crowd.

Another way to get to know people is to attend small group studies or events. Also, serving in some capacity is a great way to get acquainted with people who have a similar desire to serve.

Especially if you want to serve in the margins.

Best wishes!

 

[Rosarydevotion]

also look into Bible study groups and perhaps attend the RCIA at your church. My feeling is there are others out there and even in your church who feel exactly as you do. Sadly those people who feel this way have fallen away from the faith. Dont let that happen to you.

As St. Paul says we are all members of the one Body with Christ. We may look different from one another but we all are called to serve the same purpose.

 

[Mary_Ellen]

I went from being very involved to being very isolated in a matter of hours due to a particular situation some years ago. It was such a shock that I left the church - for eight years. When I came back my faith was stronger than ever. It was uncomfortable, at first, being alone in the pews, an outsider where I used to belong. I eventually got involved in music ministry again, then Lighthouse, then the Carmelite Order, then adoration, then funerals, then EMHC, etc. All the ministries can be taken away but I’ll still belong to the Catholic faith and the Lay Carmelite Order and that’s enough for me. My faith is stronger than it’s ever been and growing all the time.

 

[kittyplant]

I’m a convert of four years. I love my faith, wouldn’t budge from it, but there’s one major issue that I keep running up against again and again.

Isolation.

I’m living in the US and from a cultural minority group that is widely segregated from other groups, especially those widely represented in American Catholic churches. On top of that, since I did not grow up in the very insular Catholic world (go to Catholic schools, spent time with Catholic families from a young age, etc.) I feel like a complete outsider when it comes to a lot of the Catholic institutions and organizations.

Worse still…sometimes, it’s like I’m an untouchable in the Church. Literally, sometimes, as in during the Peace.

I don’t know what God’s plan is or why He called me into an earthly family that is repulsed by the sight of me.

I want to trust God’s plan fully, I really do, but…if such a core tenant of our faith is communion with others, this all seems particularly harsh and cruel.

And…of course, I want to believe that I might some day find some other Catholics who care more about the Kingdom of Heaven than living at the right address, having the right kind of job, having money, and looking a certain way in society (not all Catholic groups are like this but, let’s be honest-- many are)…I know you all are out there and God bless you if you truly do aim to live this way (of course, we are all fallible), but I usually meet you at the margins.

Perhaps what God’s really trying to get me to think about is…how can I hang out at the margins more? Where are the places that I, as a single woman (so, safety is a concern) can create fellowship for the others who are being left out?

How about you? Have you ever felt like an outsider in institutional Catholic world (whether it was the parish nearest to you, Catholic school growing up, etc.)? How do you find the margins? I’m not talking about doing this or that because it’s “rewarding” and makes you look like a caring person…I’m talking about the margins. When only God sees.

i think i know what you mean. some people at church say hi to me but mostly i feel isolated. i even feel like the priests dont like me. but i especially feel like a lot of catholics my age are all about fancy college degrees and prestigious jobs … i am a simple person and i just dont connect with that. theres a lot in catholic writing that mentions valuing time alone too… i dont know.