R
roseproject
Guest
So, a little background: I’ve been seeing God’s grace moving in my life (especially within the last few months) in ways that I find remarkable…it feels like, He’s wooing me. I’ve been falling in love with Him all over again 
and I’ve been finding myself more and more open to receiving whatever he wants to give me and I in turn want to glorify Him and trust Him in everything, more than ever.
A few days ago, I woke up to get ready for my morning shift where I work. I looked out my window to find snow blowing sideways in gusts of wind. I thought to myself “Ugh, I’m gonna hate going out in that” but it wasn’t too big a deal. As I was heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I had a thought: “what if you pray for the storm to stop?” I didn’t pay much heed to it. It persisted: “pray for the storm to stop.” I started getting anxious about the idea. Why should I want to do that. Besides, I would only be out long enough to get to my car. It’s just my mind playing tricks on me. I looked outside, still trying to ignore whatever was prompting these thoughts…Should I try? Honestly, I was kind of scared. “No.” I finally admitted. “I don’t have enough faith for this.”
Finally, after looking outside one last time to see if the storm showed any signs of easing up, which it didn’t…I gave in, and prayed.
“If it be your will, make this storm stop so that the snow doesn’t sting my face as I go outside.”
I hesitantly looked up at the window…and I was shocked to find that, most immediately, the snowfall slowed and then…stopped…leaving but a gentle breeze.
I kept looking out the window to make sure it wasn’t some fluke. I remember feeling utterly humbled and became aware of Gods strength over all creation and feeling so small, but precious in His eyes. I still felt doubts about it soon afterwards though. Not too surprising. After all, the apostles did the same when in Jesus’s presence.
Then I began to think, “If this happens again, it would be even more terrifying the second time because, if it doesn’t work out the same way again, it will surely shake my faith about the first time.”
Sure enough, a few mornings later (two days ago now), it began to rain fairly heavily. I almost immediately began to fear some kind of urge might come to pray the same way for this storm. I became engulfed in anxiety while trying to get ready for work. I tried to ask God if this was His voice but it was never clear (though I didn’t feel too certain the first time either…). I was terrified, but I was willing to try in case it was His voice. I didn’t want it, but if He was wanting to give this to me a second time, then so be it… I prayed, “If this be your will, be it done to me. If not, stay with me always.” (because I knew the turmoil it may cause me if the latter was the case).
I looked out and thought for a second that the rain stopped so I ran outside, but it still tricked down, lesser than before but it didn’t stop. Sure enough, the thing I feared the most happened. I’ve been troubled ever since.
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and I’ve been finding myself more and more open to receiving whatever he wants to give me and I in turn want to glorify Him and trust Him in everything, more than ever.A few days ago, I woke up to get ready for my morning shift where I work. I looked out my window to find snow blowing sideways in gusts of wind. I thought to myself “Ugh, I’m gonna hate going out in that” but it wasn’t too big a deal. As I was heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I had a thought: “what if you pray for the storm to stop?” I didn’t pay much heed to it. It persisted: “pray for the storm to stop.” I started getting anxious about the idea. Why should I want to do that. Besides, I would only be out long enough to get to my car. It’s just my mind playing tricks on me. I looked outside, still trying to ignore whatever was prompting these thoughts…Should I try? Honestly, I was kind of scared. “No.” I finally admitted. “I don’t have enough faith for this.”
Finally, after looking outside one last time to see if the storm showed any signs of easing up, which it didn’t…I gave in, and prayed.
“If it be your will, make this storm stop so that the snow doesn’t sting my face as I go outside.”
I hesitantly looked up at the window…and I was shocked to find that, most immediately, the snowfall slowed and then…stopped…leaving but a gentle breeze.
I kept looking out the window to make sure it wasn’t some fluke. I remember feeling utterly humbled and became aware of Gods strength over all creation and feeling so small, but precious in His eyes. I still felt doubts about it soon afterwards though. Not too surprising. After all, the apostles did the same when in Jesus’s presence.
Then I began to think, “If this happens again, it would be even more terrifying the second time because, if it doesn’t work out the same way again, it will surely shake my faith about the first time.”
Sure enough, a few mornings later (two days ago now), it began to rain fairly heavily. I almost immediately began to fear some kind of urge might come to pray the same way for this storm. I became engulfed in anxiety while trying to get ready for work. I tried to ask God if this was His voice but it was never clear (though I didn’t feel too certain the first time either…). I was terrified, but I was willing to try in case it was His voice. I didn’t want it, but if He was wanting to give this to me a second time, then so be it… I prayed, “If this be your will, be it done to me. If not, stay with me always.” (because I knew the turmoil it may cause me if the latter was the case).
I looked out and thought for a second that the rain stopped so I ran outside, but it still tricked down, lesser than before but it didn’t stop. Sure enough, the thing I feared the most happened. I’ve been troubled ever since.
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