Going back to work full time -prayers please

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whatevergirl said:
*Jay shouldn’t be a manager…he shouldn’t be sharing Ann’s reactions and interactions with her, with you or anyone else working there. Yikes, I’m sorry this happened, and that you were caught in the middle. Regardless of friendships, it’s a business, and Jay has no place sharing private info about others’ jobs with other coworkers. I’m hoping things go smoother! :o I know how it is to be in a close knit group, but still…Jay needs to take a class in how to be a bit more discreet. *
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Trust me I know. When we were yelling back and forth he says (yells) to me “I don’t think you realize how difficult this day has been for me!” I was said (angrily) “You do realize that you ARE a manager and I am NOT!” Meaning -hello! Its part of your job buddy. If you can’t handle telling people that they didn’t get the job then you are in the wrong line of work.

Honestly Jay does not conduct himself properly a lot of the time. He has knee jerk reactions, he’s overly emotional, and he talks waaaay too much about his personal life and shares things with me about employees that I should not know. I have never let what he says to me get to anyone else’s ears, which is probably why he keeps telling me things…unfortunately. He’s been the assistant manager there since I’ve started and I know he is not going any where. I just have learn from this experience and conduct myself professionally even if he does not.
 
So today I go in to face the music…Jay, who is a friend on facebook (he’s friends with Ann on there too) has been making all kinds of comments on his status since yesterday.
“Somedays I hate being a manager”
“I never want to talk to anyone again… Never!!!”
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And this morning just takes the cake
“From this point forward I am shutting off my feelings… Everything will be strictly business… Compassion is a wasted emotion and honestly no one cares… They only care about what effects them.”
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Yeah and this guy is 50, did I mention that? And he is friends with several of my co-workers on facebook.

I have never been in the position to deal with his nonsense directly…but I’ve heard complaints from others about it. What a mess I’ve got myself into. I so wanted to respond to his pity party/temper tantrum but I’m just not going there anymore. I need this position, if I didn’t -I would have said forget it, its not worth the drama, but I don’t have that luxury.

So today I’m to suck it up, be honest with my co-workers if they ask about it and try to be professional. Please pray for me to have the wisdom to handle this the right way. I’ve screwed up royally so far.
 
rayne89 said:
So today I go in to face the music…Jay, who is a friend on facebook (he’s friends with Ann on there too) has been making all kinds of comments on his status since yesterday.

And this morning just takes the cake Yeah and this guy is 50, did I mention that? And he is friends with several of my co-workers on facebook.

I have never been in the position to deal with his nonsense directly…but I’ve heard complaints from others about it. What a mess I’ve got myself into. I so wanted to respond to his pity party/temper tantrum but I’m just not going there anymore. I need this position, if I didn’t -I would have said forget it, its not worth the drama, but I don’t have that luxury.

So today I’m to suck it up, be honest with my co-workers if they ask about it and try to be professional. Please pray for me to have the wisdom to handle this the right way. I’ve screwed up royally so far.
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He’s 50!!! That’s something I would expect my 15yo sister to say, and even then, she’s a bit more mature than that… Prayers, rayne, and good luck, what a messed up situation. x.x No advice, just prayers and a hug. :gopray: :console:
 
whatevergirl said:
*Jay shouldn’t be a manager…he shouldn’t be sharing Ann’s reactions and interactions with her, with you or anyone else working there. Yikes, I’m sorry this happened, and that you were caught in the middle. Regardless of friendships, it’s a business, and Jay has no place sharing private info about others’ jobs with other coworkers. I’m hoping things go smoother! :o I know how it is to be in a close knit group, but still…Jay needs to take a class in how to be a bit more discreet. *
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I completely agree. Yikes. You poor thing.
 
Hang tight. This will all blow over and you’ll wonder why you ever gave a second thought to it all. If anyone asks why you ‘lied’, just tell them you were advised not to discuss anything with anyone until you were given the ok. So what? I suggest you stop concerning yourself about what these people think and just do your job the best you can and don’t get into their ‘stuff’, i.e. facebook, etc… don’t go looking for more junk to get involved in and upset about. Life is too short to worry about what other people think, and clearly these people are not important and you should not give them any position in your life except when you have to work with them - professionally. Move on, girl - you’ve got better things to worry about -particularly your family! And besides, there are other jobs, and you should looking for another if it is really so bad. Blessings.
 
*I learned this a long time ago…if someone will gossip to you about others, they will evenutally gossip ABOUT you to others. It has always proven tried and true. People like Jay are very transparent, while in a way, I feel badly for him…he has no business being a manager. :hypno: What I feel badly for you about is that if this were a neighbor, you probably wouldn’t be listening to gossip, but because he is in a manager role, you feel like if you don’t listen, you will appear rude. He is creating a hostile work environment whether he realizes it or not. You shouldn’t have to listen to this day in and day out…it’s creates hostility, and lowers morale.

Prayers for things to smooth out, and God to give you the strength to weather the ebbs and flows of your job. Maybe this is just an exceptional week!! :p*
 
I’m super tired so I won’t go into all the details but the gist of it is I individually apologized to people who I had lied to. Ann actually came to me and was very kind. I completely took responsibility for my part in this whole mess. I believe the worst is behind me. Jay acted cool toward me today, he walked me through my department and went over the up coming sale ad.
 
I should clarify when I said Jay acted cool -I mean distant, not cool like hey that’s cool! 😉

I’m glad I have the next two days off to relax a bit. This has probably been the worst experience of my retail career and I’ve worked retail all my life…but like I said I think the worst of it is behind me. Thanks for all your support and prayers!🙂
 
And so it begins. Vindictive woman is up to her games. Things went very well at work today. Jay was back to being chipper and friendly, our district manager stopped in and walked through my department with me. I got a lot done…and then I got called to the office shortly before my shift was over.

Apparently home office got a “customer service” complaint. The call was yesterday about an incident that supposedly happened two Sunday’s ago. They were asking me if I remembered it. The story goes I was helping a man find merchandise he was looking for, I was supposedly very friendly and helpful and then his partner walked up with their child and I became cold and basically walked away from them. Then this supposed customer over heard me say to another employee that I thought all gays should burn in hell.

All three managers were in the office and when the end of the story was stated I laughed out loud, Lynn laughed after I did. I said “No of course not. For one I don’t believe that so there would be no way I would say that.” They said they just had to ask because the call was made.

I do know who has said that -vindictive woman. She’s said it to me at least three times in the last couple years. She knows (everybody knows at work) I am a strong Catholic and said things like that to get me to agree with her. Which I never have of course because I do not believe all gays should burn in hell. By the way she has a gay brother and a lesbian daughter. Jay knows she has said this and other ridiculous things to me to bait me because I’ve told him in the past.

The management doesn’t believe for one second that the story called in is true and believe that Vee is behind it. They are sending an email to home office. This is her usual mode of operation -she does things that can’t be traced with proof back to her.
 
Wow - your work atmosphere is difficult. The people you work with are not very mature based on what you write.

I will pray for you and your success. I know you can overcome and be strong.
 
Incredible. You’ve gotta get out of there as fast as you can. Make tracks. I wouldn’t be buds with anyone there; just go to work, do your job, and go home. Seriously - get outta there.
 
I actually really like my job…I must me crazy :whacky: . Early this week was really the worst experience I’ve had but for the most part I really like my job. They have been very flexible with me when I’ve been sick and there are nice people that work there…aside from the crazies and immature ones.

I worried that something like this would come from Vee, what makes me laugh is that she wasted no time and its so obvious -the fact that she would think anyone that knows me would believe that ridiculous story just amazes me. I’ve worked for the company for 8 years. People know me, they know I am fearless in defending the church but they also know the words “I think all gays should burn in hell” would not cross my lips. Its just not who I am.

I was really enjoying my day today aside from that nonsense.
 
And so the saga continues. Today at work I got a call from an attorney from the Triangle Foundation (gay rights) saying someone filled a complaint against me for saying homosexual epitaphs on sales floor. I told the person that that is ridiculous and completely untrue. That this was an internal store matter with a vindictive employee who is harassing me. I then passed the call onto Jay. Jay spoke to the guy, then called HR. Later I spoke with all three managers in the office and then to HR. I filled out an incident report which was faxed to HR. Any further calls are to be forwarded to our company’s legal department.

This woman has mental problems and I am not sure what she is capable of. I smiled and acted perfectly normal while working with her today. She’s so sickeningly sweet to my face it’s just disgusting.
 
As I mentioned, I’d not have any ‘personal talk’ with any of these people, even those that profess to be your friend(s) unless they are people you socialize with on down time. People at work are not family, and you never know who you can trust to have heart to heart talks with. One person I worked with, who professed our discussion was between us and a look up to the heavens, turned around and blabbed a personal issue. Although I never confronted this person and we are still on friendly terms, I’ll never discuss things that are private again with anyone in a work atmosphere. I learned by my mistake. One time at another workplace someone accused me of being prejudiced, but I was defended by another who said that I wasn’t prejudiced toward them and the accuser and that person were of the same lets just say religion or nationality. You’re working with a bunch of immature people and, although you may love your job, the atmosphere is not healthy. Though I know you’re supporting your family, I would seriously consider securing a better position, even with time with additional education to just get out of an atmosphere that is unprofessional. You’re too good for where you are working. Best wishes.
 
I don’t have “heart to heart talks” with people at work. I don’t share a lot of personal stuff. I live in Michigan -our economy stinks, our unemployment is one of the highest in the nation -I’m not just going to be able to go out and find a job with the kind of wage I have now. I make pretty decent money for a retail position and I am not letting this woman drive me from my job. I like my job, I’m actually really enjoying my new position even though it is tiring physically. I’m going find all kinds of people no matter where I work. I’m just praying for wisdom on how to deal with this situation and for protection from a mentally unstable woman.
 
Well, all I can say is hang in there and wish you well. I wasn’t sure what your relationships were with these people, but the vibes they give were not good. So toughen up, will keep you in thoughts and prayers, and don’t let 'em get you down. Personally, I had to get out of the ‘crazy’ place I worked after the prejudice accusation and after an employee screamed at the boss and nothing was done about it. With time, the economy will get better - it’s not just where you are but all over the country. It took me three years to find a decent job with professionals to work with. Best wishes.
 
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