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archangel04
Guest
What 21-23 year old drinks wine? lol
It’s up to you man, but I highly recommend getting two rooms, or if possible bring other freinds as well.
- Status
It’s up to you man, but I highly recommend getting two rooms, or if possible bring other freinds as well.
R
Reservoir_Dog
Guest
Cheap wine… standard of all kids. Must be young, someone more mature wouldn’t bother asking the permission of strangers, especially on a forum where the answer must be fairly obvious.
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archangel04
Guest
really? Uh I guess I am the only guy that didn’t have his first sip of wine until 24 and that’s because it was valantines days. Anyways I don’t want to stray from topic.
V
VonDerTann
Guest
MarianD:
Your write:
“His girlfriend’s deserving to have fun on a trip with her boyfriend means illicit sex? How did we get to that conclusion?”
–I’m just showing you the inanity of your own words. You said that the GF “deserved it” [an overnight date], which would be “healthy for their relationship.” You’ve called those who disagree as having “extreme views on dating,” and suggested those people are “no fun.”
Hmmm…and yet I’m the toucy one?
“You’re kidding me if you’re really thinking his girlfriend will try to force sex on him. She respects herself and him, and she is Catholic as well. She won’t do anything of the sort.”
–And you know this…how? Because he says he’s Catholic? And she is? Try reading the OP: They want to share a room…and are in a committed relationship…and have had fun all day…and “stuff happens.” “Stuff” doesn’t happen b/c they are Catholic?
“Who said he’ll never be tempted? I simply said that taking her on a trip won’t cause any more temptation than what is already there.”
–Well, now they’re in the same room late at night…are they going to never sit on the other’s bed? Sitting on the same bed can easily become getting into the same bed…
“So why should she be excluded from a fun trip when the temptation will always be there?”
–But its a lot more tempting in the same room late at night
"So, like I said before, “the only way one can not be tempted is to live in a padded room, and God doesn’t want that.”
–But we’re not supposed to seek out temptation, or put ourselves in situations where we need a bit of extra strength to avoid the temptation (such ‘situations’ are simply “near occasions of sin.”).
“Because everyone looks up to a 20-something year old man as a spiritual role model, and if that 20-something year old, God-forbid, is laughing with his girlfriend, then he must be sinning and whoever takes him as his/her role model will do the same…There’s a hole somewhere in that logic.”
–No one said fun is out. Lots of Catholics seem to suggest that “laughing” and “having fun” need not include “overnight dates in the same room,” let alone that such dates are “healthy.”
“…And that’s why the OP suggested different rooms.”
–Reread, please. He wants one room.
“Because your authority is more than mine? If I’m not mistaken, you’re neither a priest nor a Bishop nor the Pope.”
– [Smile].I’m just pointing out your lack of authority. Saying “uh…neither are you!” doesn’t make your post more valid
Your write:
“His girlfriend’s deserving to have fun on a trip with her boyfriend means illicit sex? How did we get to that conclusion?”
–I’m just showing you the inanity of your own words. You said that the GF “deserved it” [an overnight date], which would be “healthy for their relationship.” You’ve called those who disagree as having “extreme views on dating,” and suggested those people are “no fun.”
Hmmm…and yet I’m the toucy one?
“You’re kidding me if you’re really thinking his girlfriend will try to force sex on him. She respects herself and him, and she is Catholic as well. She won’t do anything of the sort.”
–And you know this…how? Because he says he’s Catholic? And she is? Try reading the OP: They want to share a room…and are in a committed relationship…and have had fun all day…and “stuff happens.” “Stuff” doesn’t happen b/c they are Catholic?
“Who said he’ll never be tempted? I simply said that taking her on a trip won’t cause any more temptation than what is already there.”
–Well, now they’re in the same room late at night…are they going to never sit on the other’s bed? Sitting on the same bed can easily become getting into the same bed…
“So why should she be excluded from a fun trip when the temptation will always be there?”
–But its a lot more tempting in the same room late at night
"So, like I said before, “the only way one can not be tempted is to live in a padded room, and God doesn’t want that.”
–But we’re not supposed to seek out temptation, or put ourselves in situations where we need a bit of extra strength to avoid the temptation (such ‘situations’ are simply “near occasions of sin.”).
“Because everyone looks up to a 20-something year old man as a spiritual role model, and if that 20-something year old, God-forbid, is laughing with his girlfriend, then he must be sinning and whoever takes him as his/her role model will do the same…There’s a hole somewhere in that logic.”
–No one said fun is out. Lots of Catholics seem to suggest that “laughing” and “having fun” need not include “overnight dates in the same room,” let alone that such dates are “healthy.”
“…And that’s why the OP suggested different rooms.”
–Reread, please. He wants one room.
“Because your authority is more than mine? If I’m not mistaken, you’re neither a priest nor a Bishop nor the Pope.”
– [Smile].I’m just pointing out your lack of authority. Saying “uh…neither are you!” doesn’t make your post more valid
R
Reservoir_Dog
Guest
That’s a sheltered life there, pal.
T
ToeInTheWater
Guest
I hope I’m not breaking some kind of forum etiquette by pointing out that MarianD is young enough to be not in college yet (he’s in the “Catholics in High School” group on CAF). I’m way older than that (past thirty), and I certainly wouldn’t stay overnight in a room with a man I wasn’t either married to or related to. Not just because I’d worry about tempting the man, but because I’d worry about being tempted myself! I’m sure MarianD is too young to remember the era of sitcoms where even married couples were portrayed in separate beds. I know people who actually lived this way as married, some even in separate rooms (usually because one or the other snored loudly) and since they had children and all, I’d assume the separate beds were not an immediate intimacy-killer.
Now, I personally wouldn’t go as far as to say “no overnight trips until your honeymoon”, though I do know a Catholic couple who believe this, and I respect that belief. Since I live alone, even inviting a man into my apartment would be a “near occasion of sin” if that was the case. And actually, for the past few years I haven’t invited any men into my apartment, but I have been in apartments with men who lived alone…actually, one man, who I really trusted. I guess some people might say this was a near occasion for sin, too, though it wasn’t for me. I actually haven’t been in a relationship long enough to where going away somewhere together, just the two of us (as opposed to a group), was even considered, and I think I’d personally want to be engaged, or close to it, before I felt comfortable doing that…and staying in separate rooms, of course.
This question is actually, I think, related to the question of whether it’s ok to live with someone of the opposite sex “as brother and sister”. It seems the same arguments apply, except that in this case the temptation and scandal would be greater, to actually live in the same house or apartment with someone. But I think the other reason is that of emotional intimacy. I recall a post from a man on the Family Life forum who wanted to get back together with a girlfriend who had cheated on him, and did not seem to be in a frame of mind to accept any advice to the contrary, though he mentioned at least a boatload of issues. He admitted to having cohabited with the girlfriend and been intimate to some degree, though not “all the way”. He even claimed he felt “practically married” to this girl. So even though there was no intercourse, it seemed by playing “married” emotionally he had bonded to this girl in a way only reserved for the married.
So, if it were me, I’d certainly NOT go for the same room, and I’d seriously consider whether even staying in separate rooms was a good idea. Maybe separate hotels…on the other sides of the town you’re going to?
ETA: Another reason NOT to do this that I haven’t seen mentioned yet is, it’s not only that someone might see you two go into the same room and assume you’ll be having sex. It’s that someone might finds out that you two are staying in the same room,and figure that means it’s ok for him and his girlfriend to do so without falling into temptation. While the OP and his girlfriend might be able to avoid temptation in this scenario, who’s to say his brother, or his friend, would be able to? Hmm…
Now, I personally wouldn’t go as far as to say “no overnight trips until your honeymoon”, though I do know a Catholic couple who believe this, and I respect that belief. Since I live alone, even inviting a man into my apartment would be a “near occasion of sin” if that was the case. And actually, for the past few years I haven’t invited any men into my apartment, but I have been in apartments with men who lived alone…actually, one man, who I really trusted. I guess some people might say this was a near occasion for sin, too, though it wasn’t for me. I actually haven’t been in a relationship long enough to where going away somewhere together, just the two of us (as opposed to a group), was even considered, and I think I’d personally want to be engaged, or close to it, before I felt comfortable doing that…and staying in separate rooms, of course.
This question is actually, I think, related to the question of whether it’s ok to live with someone of the opposite sex “as brother and sister”. It seems the same arguments apply, except that in this case the temptation and scandal would be greater, to actually live in the same house or apartment with someone. But I think the other reason is that of emotional intimacy. I recall a post from a man on the Family Life forum who wanted to get back together with a girlfriend who had cheated on him, and did not seem to be in a frame of mind to accept any advice to the contrary, though he mentioned at least a boatload of issues. He admitted to having cohabited with the girlfriend and been intimate to some degree, though not “all the way”. He even claimed he felt “practically married” to this girl. So even though there was no intercourse, it seemed by playing “married” emotionally he had bonded to this girl in a way only reserved for the married.
So, if it were me, I’d certainly NOT go for the same room, and I’d seriously consider whether even staying in separate rooms was a good idea. Maybe separate hotels…on the other sides of the town you’re going to?
ETA: Another reason NOT to do this that I haven’t seen mentioned yet is, it’s not only that someone might see you two go into the same room and assume you’ll be having sex. It’s that someone might finds out that you two are staying in the same room,and figure that means it’s ok for him and his girlfriend to do so without falling into temptation. While the OP and his girlfriend might be able to avoid temptation in this scenario, who’s to say his brother, or his friend, would be able to? Hmm…
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archangel04
Guest
Lol boy I wish! Had you seen me in high school at parties I was not the best Catholic. Even until recently, let’s jsut say I didn’t see women as creation of God, but more like pleasure beings for me
hence why I recommend to the OP to invite other friends to avoid temptation. But I am sure he has better self-control than I do.
R
Reservoir_Dog
Guest
Maybe it was for all the best, staying away from cheap wine. Your palate wasn’t ruined.Lol boy I wish! Had you seen me in high school at parties I was not the best Catholic. Even until recently, let’s jsut say I didn’t see women as creation of God, but more like pleasure beings for me
I
illmatic
Guest
Just do it then.
B
Bookcat
Guest
The poster should NOT stay in the same room overnight in a hotel (or anywhere!)…until they are married (if they get married!)…
Period.
(and really should look long and hard at if they should be going on “an overnight trip” in any case)
Keep following Christ!
Period.
(and really should look long and hard at if they should be going on “an overnight trip” in any case)
Keep following Christ!
J
justme
Guest
For someone who claims to be a “traditional Catholic” with leanings towards the SSPX the answer should be obvisous.
I also thought, from your other posts, that you were discerning a calling to the priesthood. You can not discern a vocation to the priesthood while dating.
It is a lie on both sides. One the one hand you are lieing to your girlfriend as you are discerning a call to a celibate life which means that this dating is for nothing. One the other hand it is a lie to your discernment for the priesthood becuase you are dating which is what you do to see if you want to be married.
Now I do understand your posts of your dislike of the celibate only priesthood (a non-traditional opinion so can you really call yourself a traditionalist?).
I am starting to wonder if these posts are just to get people riled up.
L
Lost_Found
Guest
If there’s near occasion for sin don’t do it; but if the only concern is scandal go ahead because in a different city no one knows whether you are married anyhow. If anyone ever asks just let them know you didn’t sleep together. I’ve travelled like that with different women, non-Catholics. One gave me the silent treatment next morning for a few hours but by the following night she learned to live with it. Another time travelling with a club I also did that, and someone asked us the next day if we shared a bed. It was fairly easy to answer no since we were telling the truth. Just don’t bother trying to fool anyone, your body language will betray you; and if asked, your lying “no” would be quite transparent. But I sense you’re just wanting to travel on the cheap, so I’d go ahead.
B
Bookcat
Guest
I urge you to look to the examples of the early Christians…they went “counter cultural” and included in the “pomps” of the Devil…all sorts of things that were “accepted” by society.
The early Christians would avoid things that those around them had as part of their ordinary life…
I think this kind of question…aside from any sin per se or near occasion of sin (which can also be a sin already when one puts oneself willing in them etc) or sin of scandal …
can be seen in bright light when one looks at our great YES to Christ and our no’es…that are thus involved…in this great yes.
vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/homilies/2006/documents/hf_ben-xvi_hom_20060108_battesimo_en.html
A Christian should not be staying in the same hotel roomtogether …even in separate beds…
Period.
And again…should they even “travel overnight” together?? (I am not saying that it is entirely out of the question…but something for them to consider)
With the early Christian Martyrs let us say “I am a Christian”!
earlychristians.org/testimonies_martyrs/scillitan_saints.html
earlychristians.org/testimonies_martyrs/cyprian.html
Keep living in Christ!
The early Christians would avoid things that those around them had as part of their ordinary life…
I think this kind of question…aside from any sin per se or near occasion of sin (which can also be a sin already when one puts oneself willing in them etc) or sin of scandal …
can be seen in bright light when one looks at our great YES to Christ and our no’es…that are thus involved…in this great yes.
vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/homilies/2006/documents/hf_ben-xvi_hom_20060108_battesimo_en.html
A Christian should not be staying in the same hotel roomtogether …even in separate beds…
Period.
And again…should they even “travel overnight” together?? (I am not saying that it is entirely out of the question…but something for them to consider)
With the early Christian Martyrs let us say “I am a Christian”!
earlychristians.org/testimonies_martyrs/scillitan_saints.html
earlychristians.org/testimonies_martyrs/cyprian.html
Keep living in Christ!
L
Lost_Found
Guest
Well putting it that way you do make a strong point.I urge you to look to the examples of the early Christians…they went “counter cultural” and included in the “pomps” of the Devil…all sorts of things that were “accepted” by society.
The early Christians would avoid things that those around them had as part of their ordinary life…
I think this kind of question…aside from any sin per se or near occasion of sin (which can also be a sin already when one puts oneself willing in them etc) or sin of scandal …
can be seen in bright light when one looks at our great YES to Christ and our no’es…that are thus involved…in this great yes.
vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/homilies/2006/documents/hf_ben-xvi_hom_20060108_battesimo_en.html
A Christian should not be staying in the same hotel roomtogether …even in separate beds…
Period.
And again…should they even “travel overnight” together?? (I am not saying that it is entirely out of the question…but something for them to consider)
With the early Christian Martyrs let us say “I am a Christian”!
earlychristians.org/testimonies_martyrs/scillitan_saints.html
earlychristians.org/testimonies_martyrs/cyprian.html
Keep living in Christ!
Okay buddy cough up the money for a second room.
B
Bookcat
Guest
Actually they can save alot of money
For really ordinarily there is “no need” for a couple that is not married to be traveling together on “overnight trips” …so they could save lots of money!
Rather stick with great dates…going out to eat…going a play…a good movie…a nice picnic …a walk in a National or State park…that sort of thing.
Once they are married…then they can fly to Europe! and stay at nice bed and breakfasts…see the world!
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