Going through an annulment

  • Thread starter Thread starter elizabeth_grace
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
E

elizabeth_grace

Guest
I’m wondering if anyone has words of wisdom, support, or can just hold my hand? I feel like I can’t talk to many about this in real life and it’s not even MY story to tell.

Long story short, My husband is Catholic. We were married in my church (I was raised Lutheran.) We’ve been married 11 years now and have three kids in Catholic school. I have grown to love Catholicism and decided, after much deliberation to become Catholic.

As I began my RCIA classes I realized there was a snag. Unfortunately, my husband was married before we met. She left during the honeymoon and that was that. She didn’t even show up for the divorce, which he filed for less than a year after they got married. This never came up-while I knew his history it had no bearing on our life together. It still wouldn’t, except that I cannot be welcomed into the church until this is rectified.

From what I’ve been told there’s no reason he wouldn’t be granted the annulment. We’re in the process of filling out the paperwork now and I have to say I wasn’t prepared for how difficult it would be.

I would really love to talk to someone who has gone through this before. Thank you so much.
 
PM me if you want. While my husband’s story is different, his annulment process was definitely a time of trial and obedience. You too will come through this process and it will be better for your marriage (just the questions alone that he has to answer and reflect upon will be so insightful and will build your understanding and appreciation for marriage).
 
Just received word that I’m through the local Tribunal so I can speak from some experience. I hope and presume you are receiving help from someone in the Parish? It was very important to my own petition as you have to understand what information is being requested and why.

Realize that the former wife’s actions, although they sound egregious, are not necessarily going to be the reason the annulment is granted. The point is to go back and look at them before the marriage and how they entered the state of marriage. Were they mature enough and did they understand what marriage meant (one man, one woman both professing self giving love, faithful for life, with the intent of being open having children)? Was one party coerced? Was one party fooled by the other who did not have proper intent? Was one compromised by addictions, mental illness, etc? Were they both free to marry? I’m not trying to pretend to be an expert but once I understood that they are not doing a “Catholic divorce” but saying that the marriage was not “real” from the outset and thus was never valid.

You may be frustrated by the slow progress and the amount of paperwork to be completed. Realize that the Tribunal is being responsible to the sacredness of marriage and giving proper attention and discretion in the evaluation of the circumstances and the parties to the marriage.

As you go through this process, you will really appreciate the Church’s investment and care in determining the validity of your husband’s first marriage. It is tremendous peace of mind to realize there is a difference between the sacrament of marriage and a relationship that’s validated by the state.

If I can answer any specific questions about my situation please send a PM.

Lisa
 
Nobody on this forum can state whether or not you would be granted an annulment; that is for the Tribunal to decide.

In the case of your husband, there are two major issues that would have to be addressed. The first is whether he was married in Catholic form; i.e., married in a Catholic Church, or if not, married elsewhere with the appropriate dispensation(s). If he was not, it’s a lack of form case, meaning he is not validly married to the previous wife in the first place.

If he was validly married in a Catholic Church, and the wife left on the honeymoon, that’s a really, really good indicator that something was seriously wrong at the time of the marriage, and that is favorable to obtaining an annulment. One of my in laws (not Catholic at the time) actually had this happen to him, and he subsequently obtained an annulment before converting to Catholicism. But once again, the Tribunal will need to obtain all the facts before rendering a decision.

All the best…
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top