Going through life without friends

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lovedance4ever

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I’m going to keep this brief. I just wanted to ask for prayers, because at this point, I do not think there is any advice that can be given.

I lost the only friend I had recently. I previously posted about her, that boyfriend, and having to tell her parents about his obscene behavior. Because I openly voiced my opinion about him, she has completely shut herself off from me. Not only that, but she has brainwashed her younger siblings against me. None of them trust me anymore.

Yes, she is a few years younger than me, but she was like a younger sister and we had so much fun together. Two summers ago, we traveled to Gettysburg, PA by ourselves, just so we could get away, be independent and hang out. But now, whenever she looks at me, it is with such disgust and disdain.

I was just trying to protect her. I wanted to do the right thing, and it exploded back into my face. Oh, and her parents believe her and think I am the bad guy!

Now, I have no friends. I know you’re thinking, “Oh, she must have someone to call up on the weekend. Everyone has at least one friend.” No. I have zero friends. No one with which to converse, hang out, go to the movies, grab lunch. Absolutely no one. I cannot emphasize this enough. I have no friends at all.

I’m having a mental meltdown at the moment. I am so alone, all while I get to watch the women around me meeting wonderful men, getting engaged, etc. Sometimes I think I am meant to be alone. Maybe there isn’t a guy out there for me. And maybe there isn’t a friend out there for me, either.
 
I will absolutely pray for you but I must say this: people come and go from your life for a reason, and we often do not understand that at the moment it happens. Clearly if a friendship could be ended that easily, she probably isn’t someone you’d want in your life anyway.
“Better alone than in bad company”. That is very much a saying I live by.
Try to get involved with your church, volunteer work and join groups with activities that you enjoy. I promise you will start to meet people worthy of your friendship. So while things seem bleak now, please try to remain optimistic.
Wishing you the best. :console:
 
runwaymodel said:
Wishing you the best. :console:
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Me, too!
Lord Jesus, lover of souls, make this bearable. Give lovedance4ever strength, faith, peace, hope and love to last a lifetime. Wrap your arms around her so she doesn’t feel alone, but let her rest in your loving heart. Amen.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be world without end. Amen.
 
Well guess what: You’ve got a friend now, sister!!

I can tell just by your username that you are an awesome person, and I’d gladly call you my friend. Seriously, message me whenever you want on here, Im willing to talk about anything! God bless and have an awesome night. Life is good 🙂

Edit: Just saw your profile that you’re twenty and into kickboxing?! I’m 18 and literally just got back from kickboxing (Muay Thai) practice an hour ago! Funny how things work out!
 
lovedance4ever confided her current lack of Friends :
"I previously posted about her, that boyfriend, and having to tell her parents about his obscene behavior. Because I openly voiced my opinion about him, she has completely shut herself off from me. Not only that, but she has brainwashed her younger siblings against me. None of them trust me anymore."

Trust is a VERY tender thing … it can be destroyed over a relatively small event.
It is said that The Truth Shall Set You Free.
Yeah, but sometimes it sets you FREE from your Friends.

When you see a woman standing at the edge of a high ledge, you want to protect her from falling to her Death.
This is only a normal reaction to the Threat that she is in.
"I was just trying to protect her. I wanted to do the right thing, and it exploded back into my face."
If you feel that you did the Right Thing by posting your True opinion of that Loser, then Good for you.
Why would she resent you for attempting to SAVE her from a tragedy?
Love makes people “Crazy” . . . and, one way to push a girl into the arms of an Abusive man, is to point out how abusive he is.
Many parents have watched their wonderful Daughter, marry a BIG-time Loser, because she resented their advice, and did it to PROVE them wrong.

"Sometimes I think I am meant to be alone. Maybe there isn’t a guy out there for me. And maybe there isn’t a friend out there for me, either."
There are MANY people out there who never find Mister Right.
But, a lot of them find a succession of Mister WRONGs.
One thing about loving a Loser . . . it can make your Life VERY exciting (there’s always Drama).
Yet, even though this is an acceptable way to Live, it is not healthy for a Christian, who is trying to be Spiritual.

You are not asking for advice, so I will not offer up any.
I will pray for you to Let Go of some of the Pain you are feeling.
Then, at least, you won’t be alone AND hurting.
Peace be with you.
 
NextElement said:
Well guess what: You’ve got a friend now, sister!!

I can tell just by your username that you are an awesome person, and I’d gladly call you my friend. Seriously, message me whenever you want on here, Im willing to talk about anything! God bless and have an awesome night. Life is good 🙂

Edit: Just saw your profile that you’re twenty and into kickboxing?! I’m 18 and literally just got back from kickboxing (Muay Thai) practice an hour ago! Funny how things work out!
Click to expand...
I love this forum.
 
Dear Lovedance4ever:

You are really hurting right now and I do not think anything I can say will make it go away right now but I know it will because you have faith in God, I looked at your profile and you are very special, talented and very bright individual.

Let me add a bit of detail here. I am new to this forum so I have not filled in all my stuff in yet but I will not lie to you but I was a psychology professor for over 30 years so I know a few things about human behavior. This is the truth. If I lie to you, Jesus would not be happy with me.

Lovedance4ever. I was 20 once, a long time ago and I had a girlfriend whom I loved very much and found out she had another boyfriend. How did I find out—her dorm friends told me. I was crushed! I cried and cried (real men cry) and thought I am done. She was my first great love and loss of that type always hurts but as time went on, I had to move through the fear(scary stuff being rejected) and found new friends, new girlfriends, one day, years later, found love, got married, have three great sons and the rest is history but it all started with God.

When we are hurting and depressed, we do not always see things like they really are.
Example: you posted that your friends are out there meeting “wonderful” men. Believe me that not all men are wonderful.

I know you will get through because you are a believer. You hurt so I hurt so lets get through the hurt. shall we?

One step at a time. One prayer at a time.

When they say, God works in mysterious ways, that is so true. Example: you like kickboxing, right? What do you think Ronda Rousey might suggest? You do know who Rhonda is? What are the odds that I join this forum so few days ago, look though the threads, find your yours and respond to you as a believer and a psychologist and find that we both have something in common. It is not coincidence is it.

Sierradepadre
 
May I be your friend? Granted, we can’t go out and do stuff right now. But it would be nice to have someone to talk things over with. I don’t make friends easy either. But I’m learning, and I know that you will learn as well. It’s hard giving up someone you are close to. I had to do that a couple of years ago. We were so much alike, finding the same things funny and all of that stuff. But here, you don’t have to stay friendless. As your brothers and sisters in Christ, we are family.
 
lovedancer4ever,
It seems you have some good offers from a few people. why not accept their offer. One step at a time.
Sierradepadre:)
 
Well, I’ve had times when I had no friends. I currently don’t have anyone I’d call a close friend right now as a matter of fact, or at least not one that I’m not married to or related to.

Right now, my wife and grandmother are probably my closest friends. I have a lot of people that are aquaintences from work or church but I have no true freinds.

I had good friends as a kid, but then we moved. I didn’t have many my last two years in High School because I was new to the school and not very outgoing. Then after I got out of college I made some good friends and had a room mate. Then he got married and we drifted apart because his life became busier and we now lived 45 minutes apart. Then I made another friend and we were very good friends for a few years before his wife took a job in Chicago and they moved. That was about 5 years ago now and I can’t say I’ve had a good friend since then, outside of my wife and Grandmother.

What I’ve come to realize is that a one good friend is better than a several OK friends In fact, I don’t even like having a big group friends, just a few good ones and I have that with my wife, grandmother and brothers.

Granted, I’d like to have a male buddy that I’m not related to but working fulltime, traveling for work and being a husband and dad takes up a lot of my time. I am starting to make some friends in the KofC chapter that I’m in though and I enjoy hanging out with my brother nights a few times a month.

Basically what I’m saying here is, people come and go, friends are not always forever and you are bound to make new friends. However, don’t overlook the friends you may have at home or in your family. 👍
 
I know you think you are beyond advice, but I thought I’d offer some anyway. I think your problem of having no friends would be solved if you made some friends. Go to social events at your parish. Look online for local interest groups. Find one of those activity groups for singles. They look really cool. I’ve often thought I’d like to join one, except that I’m married. Maybe they should invent a group for married couples to make friends? Anyway, good luck at making new friends and I’m sorry to hear that your other friend won’t speak to you. Probably, as time goes by, she will forgive you.
 
Praying with you!

Prayer for Lonely People

Loving God,
there are times in each life
when there is no one.
No one with whom to share
a word,
a laugh,
a sad remembrance,
a gentle touch,
a fond embrace,
a kiss of love.
Bless each one who suffers
from such loneliness.
Enrich life with a friend
or gentle stranger
who will spend a moment
noticing
and loving.
In those times
your love shines through,
the world is reborn,
and Christ is known.
So be it!
Amen.
 
Have you joined your campus student union? It’s a great way to meet people, volunteer and network. Plus they always need help (even if you don’t have much time to give - the amount of time spent out for lunch or at a movie - would still be really helpful).
 
LOvedancer4ever,
what do you think?
A lot of good feedback in these replies?
Sierradepadre
 
NextElement said:
Well guess what: You’ve got a friend now, sister!!

I can tell just by your username that you are an awesome person, and I’d gladly call you my friend. Seriously, message me whenever you want on here, Im willing to talk about anything! God bless and have an awesome night. Life is good 🙂

Edit: Just saw your profile that you’re twenty and into kickboxing?! I’m 18 and literally just got back from kickboxing (Muay Thai) practice an hour ago! Funny how things work out!
Click to expand...
Compassion is a rarity around here. Thank you for being kind to this girl. :hug1:
 
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