Going through RCIA process, not married in church

[rlp10]

I am searching for answers as I honestly don’t know.
I am not Catholic yet. I have not even been baptized. I was raised in the baptist protestant faith. Nearly 3 years ago I got married to my husband, who is Catholic. However, we had a civil marriage, not in a church.
I am currently going through the RCIA process at a church we attend and I am learning a lot. I have learned that marriage is one of the sacraments offered by the Catholic church. So, how does this work? If my husband and I did not get married in a church, are we considered in the wrong even though I am not Catholic or baptized at the moment? How can we go about correcting this if that is the case. Like I said, I am going through the RCIA process and this Saturday the church is offering the Rite of Welcome for all the candidates and catechumens. I don’t feel like it was wrong to marry my husband outside a church, but is this something that once I am baptized we can get married in the church? Is this something that would even make it wrong for me to go through the RCIA process? I just recently started thinking about all of this and feel very confused.

Any thoughts or suggestions or answers would be appreciated?

Thanks

 

[1ke]

Your RCIA director should have already done, or soon be doing, an interview with you that includes filling out a profile with this type of information.

Yes, your husband had (and still has) an obligation to be married in the Catholic form. He should have approached his priest before marriage for premarital preparation. He could have been dispensed from Catholic form in order to marry you elsewhere.

As it stands now, your marriage is invalid and needs to be convalidated. This would take place prior to your entry into the Church. It is a simple enough matter to correct.

It is best to sit down and talk to your RCIA director and bring this to his/her attention. Even better, talk to your pastor. If your husband is unwilling to go through convalidation, then you should discuss radical sanation with your priest.

 

[rlp10]

Can I ask what is convalidation and what is typically involved?

Thanks

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Can I ask what is convalidation and what is typically involved?

Thanks

Convalidation basically means being married in the Church.

You, your husband, and your priest will do whatever preparation is needed for your wedding. The wedding itself can be as big or as small as you want. Anything from the couple, a couple of witnesses, and the priest to something where you invite many guests and pull out all the stops. Typically convalidations are on the smaller side, but they don’t have to be.

At the Easter Vigil you will receive the sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist. You’ll receive an additional sacrament as well. Once you are baptized, your marriage will become sacramental.

I’d encourage you to meet with your pastor as soon as possible. Everything takes time and you don’t want to end up feeling rushed.

 

[1ke]

Can I ask what is convalidation and what is typically involved?

Thanks

Convalidation is exchange of consent in the Catholic form-- i.e. saying your vows before a priest and two witnesses (at a minimum). This can be done privately, or publicly.

Radical sanation is a different type of convalidation, in which you do not renew your exchange of consent.

Talk to your priest and he can guide you.

 

[rlp10]

I actually called him and he says he knew of this because of the form I filled out in the beginning. I had forgotten I had filled it out. He said after the rite of welcome, it is something we will address in personal meetings that he has with each candidate/catechumen and my husband will be involved. But, I have a meeting with him tomorrow before the Rite of Welcome to discuss this in further detail.

Thanks for the help.

 

[Catholic_Wife]

Can I ask what is convalidation and what is typically involved?

Thanks

It’s good that you will be talking to your pastor. One of the women in the RCIA at our parish and her husband had a small ceremony in the chapel and invited everyone from her RCIA class to attend along with a few family and friends. It was really nice and there was a small reception afterwards.

 

[jwinch2]

My wife and I ran into the same issue. She was baptized Catholic, but had drifted away from the Faith several years before we met. When we both had a conversion and started RCIA together, we had to have our marriage Convalidated. It is nothing to worry about. We had a small ceremony in our Parish’s chapel with a few friends including our sponsors, who did the readings for us.

 

[brshooter]

Similar story here. Wife was a cradle catholic but not confirmed. I was raised Methodist. I felt the calling to enter the Catholic Church. We went through the RCIA process together. She received he Sacrament of Confirmation and I received the Sacraments of Confirmation and Eucharist.

We had our marriage convalidated several weeks after the Easter Vigil. Our sponsors, a few neighbors, and some family members. Very simple.

It was so awesome to actually invite Jesus Christ into our marriage.

 

[waanju]

My parents had the same situation.
My mom is a cradle Catholic and my dad was born a protestant. They got married by my dad’s father (a minister) after having a rather bad experience with a local priest who had the reputation of being a little lacking in charity. When my father eventually converted (almost 15 years later) and started RCIA, the Catechist helped them to arrange to have the marriage convalidated the Sunday before his full admission into the Church.
If I recall correctly, it was part of the normal Sunday mass and there were about 3 other couples getting their marriages convalidated at the same time.

 

[rlp10]

I would like to thank everyone for the responses and sharing their stories. Very helpful and reassuring.