Going to Confession, obeying my priest, and receiving the Eucharist

[Holly3278]

Hey everyone. I have a couple of questions for you. First, some background: My priest and spiritual director have told me not to go to Confession more than once every two weeks. I think this is due to my scrupulosity. They have also told me that I cannot commit a mortal sin due to my mental illness. My priest told me that I can go ahead and receive the Eucharist even if I feel like I am in a state of mortal sin because he does not feel I can commit a mortal sin.

So, I have a couple of questions based on this. First, if I honestly believe I am in a state of mortal sin, would it be a sin to disobey my priest and spiritual director by going to Confession more often than once every two weeks? Second, if I do feel that I am in a state of mortal sin, can I still receive the Eucharist? Also, I still believe I can commit a mortal sin. Should I instead trust my spiritual director and my priest and not worry about committing a mortal sin since they say I can’t commit a mortal sin?

Sorry everyone, I am just really confused about all of this.

 

[Cristiano]

1-I think that Canon law says that we owe obedience to our ordained people and so I would suggest that you obey them unless it is clear command to sin. Based on my understanding of your explanation they do not command you to sin and so you should just obey them.

2- Even if you feel that you are in a state of mortal sin that does not mean that you are in an objective state of mortal sin. People here on CAF said a million times that the relationship with God is not based on feelings but on objective behaviors.

3- Our relationship with God is based on becoming people of character and both sinning and scrupulosity move us away from Him. Sinning we all know why, but scrupulosity is a little bit more difficult to understand but it ca be as dangerous as sin. Scrupulosity kills our trust in the possibility of building a relationship with God and thus kills our trust in God himself, and that is no good.

4- The priest and confessor is there in Persona Christi, he has been educated by the Church in the pastoral care of souls that might have difficulties in the real understanding their choices. From what you say at this point in time you are in that situation and thus even if you were to sin your culpability would be reduced, and according to your priest at this point in time you cannot commit mortal sin.

5- God is not going to run a pop quiz on you. He is expecting you to form your character the way He likes it and that means obedience to the instructions of your priest. God called the priests to take care of you, give them the chance to follow their vocation as they are supposed to do.

 

[Holly3278]

1-I think that Canon law says that we owe obedience to our ordained people and so I would suggest that you obey them unless it is clear command to sin. Based on my understanding of your explanation they do not command you to sin and so you should just obey them.

2- Even if you feel that you are in a state of mortal sin that does not mean that you are in an objective state of mortal sin. People here on CAF said a million times that the relationship with God is not based on feelings but on objective behaviors.

3- Our relationship with God is based on becoming people of character and both sinning and scrupulosity move us away from Him. Sinning we all know why, but scrupulosity is a little bit more difficult to understand but it ca be as dangerous as sin. Scrupulosity kills our trust in the possibility of building a relationship with God and thus kills our trust in God himself, and that is no good.

4- The priest and confessor is there in Persona Christi, he has been educated by the Church in the pastoral care of souls that might have difficulties in the real understanding their choices. From what you say at this point in time you are in that situation and thus even if you were to sin your culpability would be reduced, and according to your priest at this point in time you cannot commit mortal sin.

5- God is not going to run a pop quiz on you. He is expecting you to form your character the way He likes it and that means obedience to the instructions of your priest. God called the priests to take care of you, give them the chance to follow their vocation as they are supposed to do.

Thanks Cristiano. I admit, I am still confused. I guess I could sum up my confusion in this way: If my priest and spiritual director say that I can’t commit a mortal sin, can I seriously not commit a mortal sin?

I guess I just really don’t understand how my priest and spiritual director could make such an authoritative statement as “You are not capable of committing a mortal sin due to your mental illness.”

 

[AntalKalnoky]

There’s no such thing that anyone Not Institutionalized ‘can not commit a mortal sin’, and they are Not Commanding, but their suggestion. Imo, you’re Right On, but suggest you Know what a Mortal Sin Is (Serious-) The Priest should decide, advise if Mortal, and advise you how to avoid, and you only Need to go to Confession If Mortal, otherwise not Too Much; Priests are Busy, Confessionals Also. Sounds like modest misunderstandings. The Church teraches even Holy Water can remove Venial Sins, as well as confessiion Directly To Our Lord. Thanks for asking, sister! We all Learn.

 

[Edmundus1581]

1-I think that Canon law says that we owe obedience to our ordained people and so I would suggest that you obey them unless it is clear command to sin. Based on my understanding of your explanation they do not command you to sin and so you should just obey them.

Good answer, in principle. My understanding too is that our first obedience is to our own pastors and confessors, then our Bishop, etc. However, if you have a reference to Canon law, or the Catechism, then I would appreciate it.

 

[AntalKalnoky]

Good answer, in principle. My understanding too is that our first obedience is to our own pastors and confessors, then our Bishop, etc. However, if you have a reference to Canon law, or the Catechism, then I would appreciate it.

Again, it appears the Priest and Confessor were not Commasnding obedience; they were only advising their opinions, which sound incorrect or misunderstanding. Someone misunderstood.
It is the Misunderstading that should be questioned, Corrected. That Is Catholic Teaching and Responsibility attitude. God Bless.

 

[The_Old_Medic]

If you know that you have a mental illness, one that tends to make you overly critical of yourself and to see sin where none has happened, then you would be very wrong to go against the advice of your spiritual guide.

You KNOW that this is your mental problem that is doing this to you.

So, stop giving in to it, and follow the advice you have been given.

 

[Bl_Pope_Pius_IX]

Hey everyone. I have a couple of questions for you. First, some background: My priest and spiritual director have told me not to go to Confession more than once every two weeks. I think this is due to my scrupulosity. They have also told me that I cannot commit a mortal sin due to my mental illness. My priest told me that I can go ahead and receive the Eucharist even if I feel like I am in a state of mortal sin because he does not feel I can commit a mortal sin.

So, I have a couple of questions based on this. First, if I honestly believe I am in a state of mortal sin, would it be a sin to disobey my priest and spiritual director by going to Confession more often than once every two weeks? Second, if I do feel that I am in a state of mortal sin, can I still receive the Eucharist? Also, I still believe I can commit a mortal sin. Should I instead trust my spiritual director and my priest and not worry about committing a mortal sin since they say I can’t commit a mortal sin?

Sorry everyone, I am just really confused about all of this.

I agree with mostly everyone here - obey your spiritual director. Perhaps if you truly believe that you are in a state of mortal sin, then sonsult that same spiritual director. Your actions here seem quite commendable, don’t forget that. As everyone should do with their spiritual director, be completely honest. They DIRECT you. Follow his direction. For any questions, just ask him.

Also, Pius IX is not a Saint, he is a Blessed (referring to your signature).

~ Pius :knight1:

 

[Corki]

Hey everyone. I have a couple of questions for you. First, some background: My priest and spiritual director have told me not to go to Confession more than once every two weeks. I think this is due to my scrupulosity. They have also told me that I cannot commit a mortal sin due to my mental illness. My priest told me that I can go ahead and receive the Eucharist even if I feel like I am in a state of mortal sin because he does not feel I can commit a mortal sin.

So, I have a couple of questions based on this. First, if I honestly believe I am in a state of mortal sin, would it be a sin to disobey my priest and spiritual director by going to Confession more often than once every two weeks? Second, if I do feel that I am in a state of mortal sin, can I still receive the Eucharist? Also, I still believe I can commit a mortal sin. Should I instead trust my spiritual director and my priest and not worry about committing a mortal sin since they say I can’t commit a mortal sin?

Sorry everyone, I am just really confused about all of this.

Holly, it would be wrong to disobey your spiritual director regarding Confession. With scrupulosity, it is very important to do what your spiritual director says regarding Confession.

It is not required to receive Communion every Sunday. Not being in a state of grace is only one reason a person might refrain from receiving. If you are anxious and unsure, you can abstain from Communion until your next scheduled time for Confession and speak to your priest about whatevery you are feeling is keeping you from a state of grace. Even if you only go to Communion every other week, on the Sundays right after your Confession, that’s much better than disobeying your spiritual director.

 

[Cristiano]

There’s no such thing that anyone Not Institutionalized ‘can not commit a mortal sin’, …

You are saying that only people that are institutionalized cannot commit mortal sin?

If the answer is yes, please show where do you get the information. Children up to a certain age cannot commit mortal sin, people with Alzheimer disease do not have free will and thus they do not really commit mortal sin. There are a lot of people with physical and mental handicaps that are not in institutions; however, their still unable to make choices with complete understanding of what they are doing or what the consequences are.

 

[Cristiano]

Good answer, in principle. My understanding too is that our first obedience is to our own pastors and confessors, then our Bishop, etc. However, if you have a reference to Canon law, or the Catechism, then I would appreciate it.

I am not a canon layer and so I just quote the article that I think to be consistent with what I would call a common sense argument. However, proper canonical interpretation must consider a balance with other articles of the CCL, and that it is a bit too much for my knowledge.

*Can. 212 §1. Conscious of their own responsibility, the Christian faithful are bound to follow with Christian obedience those things which the sacred pastors, inasmuch as they represent Christ, declare as teachers of the faith or establish as rulers of the Church.

§2. The Christian faithful are free to make known to the pastors of the Church their needs, especially spiritual ones, and their desires.

§3. According to the knowledge, competence, and prestige which they possess, they have the right and even at times the duty to manifest to the sacred pastors their opinion on matters which pertain to the good of the Church and to make their opinion known to the rest of the Christian faithful, without prejudice to the integrity of faith and morals, with reverence toward their pastors, and attentive to common advantage and the dignity of persons.*

 

[1ke]

Obey your spiritual director. And stop posting here trying to second guess your priest. It is bad for you!

 

[Edmundus1581]

Thankyou for finding that, Christiano! Very helpful with this question, and some others too.

 

[Holly3278]

I agree with mostly everyone here - obey your spiritual director. Perhaps if you truly believe that you are in a state of mortal sin, then sonsult that same spiritual director. Your actions here seem quite commendable, don’t forget that. As everyone should do with their spiritual director, be completely honest. They DIRECT you. Follow his direction. For any questions, just ask him.

Also, Pius IX is not a Saint, he is a Blessed (referring to your signature).

~ Pius :knight1:

Oops, I just realized the error in my signature! Sorry about that! I have changed it now.

 

[Holly3278]

Obey your spiritual director. And stop posting here trying to second guess your priest. It is bad for you!

I agree with you that it is bad to second guess my priest and to disobey my spiritual director. I am obeying my spiritual director but I am going to stop second guessing my priest. Thank you for your admonishment.

 

[Bookcat]

I agree with you that it is bad to second guess my priest and to disobey my spiritual director. I am obeying my spiritual director but I am going to stop second guessing my priest. Thank you for your admonishment.

I would discuss the matter with your confessor and your spiritual director. Can it happen that in some particular area a person “does not commit a mortal sin” due to a disorder? Yes I suppose that can be. For example a person who has OCD may have obsessional thoughts so bad that they can not control and thus are not responsible for them. But can that person still commit a mortal sin of say murder? Yes of course. Or could that person even commit a mortal sin of lust by say going and looking at pornography and willfully engaging in lustful thoughts? Yes…such is not the obsessional thoughts but the willful free choice to look at such and choose such thoughts. They can do so via a grave matter, full knowledge and complete consent.

There may be thus be a misunderstanding of what he Priest and Spiritual director is telling you here.

Now we here can not (as per the forum rules) speak to the mental illness aspect per se…but I would think that you have a reasonable concern that needs to be addressed. Do not see it as being “disobedient”.

Yes with there can be a very good and important “obedience” with scrupulosity and perhaps similar difficulties and some other areas…for such is very important for the overcoming of such…for with scrupulosity one’s own compass…at least in some areas …is off and one needs that outside compass so one may begin to reset ones own in time. Thus with scrupulosity a kind of “voluntary obedience to a orthodox confessor” is very important to overcome the difficulty itself. And a kind of voluntary “obedience” can be good in other ways to in the spiritual life.

But we are not necessarily bound to obey the opinions or directions of a confessor or spiritual director as if it were a sin not to (of course if they say “stop stealing like that” such is simply an application of the Faith). And certainly discussing the issue with them is not I would think an act of “disobedience”.

And of course if they tell you something contrary to what the Church teaches…like go murder their secretary or use contraception or go steal for them…well one does not follow such!

 

[AntalKalnoky]

If you know that you have a mental illness, one that tends to make you overly critical of yourself and to see sin where none has happened, then you would be very wrong to go against the advice of your spiritual guide.

You KNOW that this is your mental problem that is doing this to you.

So, stop giving in to it, and follow the advice you have been given.

Don’t we Each have Mental Attitude illness? Except infants. Love of Our Neighbor (EVERY ONE) is The Central Teaching of Christ, His Church. Love Prevents All Problems, Wars to Disrespect.