going to Confession tomorrow

[David1988]

Hi everybody,

I sinned today against chastity (if you know what I mean). I’ll be going to Confession tomorrow. I’m embarrassed to admit it to my priest. I know he has heard it before, and I’ve even Confessed it to him before. That doesn’t make it much easier. I like my priest, and I don’t want him to know what a weak and horrible person I am. I feel so ashamed.

It’s horrible, like my heart is breaking inside of me. I love God so much, with all of my heart, and I don’t know why I betrayed Him like this. I am such a weak person, but I should have been able to resist the temptation. The only thing I can say is that I stopped myself soon after I started.

Do you have advice on any of this? Is there anything that can make Confession easier? There is no anonymous option at my parish, and since it is outside of scheduled times, I will have to ask him to meet with me. I’m anxious about my priest looking down on me, especially since I am active in my parish.

Is there anything I can do in the mean time before I can go to Confession? I’ve prayed some, but I feel so enormously guilty trying to talk to God while I am in such a state of sin.

I am looking for any support or advice you have. I had been doing well in purity for a couple of weeks, and I thought I had finally beat this terrible habit. I feel like crying.

david

 

[simmie]

Hiya

I know how you feel about going to confession and worrying about what the priest might think of you. I haven’t been for a long time over other issues. So first off, well done for going tomorrow! Good Luck!

Secondly, this advice I am going to type is similar to some I myself received from people on this forum.

1. The priest has probably heard it before! The fact you confessed the same before shouldn’t matter, I would doubt he would remember.
2. Confession is meant to be where you don’t feel judged. This is part of my problem but I am sure the priest wouldn’t sit there and think you are weak. He will want to help you through it. Jesus wants to help us, he is doing that job as his representative.
3. I have also had the same issue re: prayer. Try not to formualise it too much! Composing this post in your head is a form of prayer. Just something like “I am truly sorry for today” is prayer enough. God wants to hear from you, something I try and remember when I am in trouble.
4. Talk to your priest when you meet with him. Say you find it hard to explain and you feel ashamed but you want to confess. That way the priest should understand how you feel.
5. Try not to beat yourself up too much. Try again, we all deserve chances to improve.

Hope this helps a bit!

 

[baltobetsy]

David, I’m sure many, many people have confessed the Terrible Habit to your priest. He well knows how difficult a habit it is to break, and will not think you are bad because of it. He wants to help free you of it, and will probably have some good suggestions for you. Ask for some specific advice if he doesn’t offer it right away.

God bless you for caring so much! So many people don’t these days.

Betsy

 

[David1988]

Thank you, Betsy and Simmie. Whenever I’ve confessed this my priest tells me not to get discouraged. I never say anything to suggest it but he must be able to tell how upset I get when I sin in this way. I definitely get very discouraged.

You’re right, though, that God wants me to go to him with my broken, contrite heart instead of staying away because I feel scared and ashamed.

Thank you again. I appreciate your answers very much.

 

[JuanCarlos]

A priest once told me that within 4 months of being ordained, he had heard pretty much every sin you could think of. Nothing you’ll tell the priest will scandalize him.

Remember, it’s either confess your sins in secret to the priest now, or have your sins announced on the day of judgment to the whole human race!

You’re doing the right thing by making a speedy trip to the confessional. God bless!

 

[David1988]

I know I won’t scandalize the priest. Mostly, I’m just ashamed, and I don’t want him to think poorly of me.

I will definitely go tomorrow, even though I don’t want to admit my sins to him. I don’t like to be in the state of mortal sin… I always find myself sinning more and generally feeling badly about things. I go to Mass during the week too and I want to be able to receive the Eucharist.

thanks,
david

 

[Carlion]

Why not just confess it as, “and once (or twice or whatever) I engaged in an act of sexual impurity.”…? He’ll know what you mean. They’re good like that.

 

[dachsiemom]

You could confess to a priest at another parish - in a confessional.

 

[David1988]

I think “sexual impurity” is too vague. It could mean masturbation, fornication, homosexual acts, pornography, or something else. When I first started going to Reconciliation I would say that I had committed an act of sexual impurity by myself, which is clear, but now I try to say it outright. There is no use trying to dance around it, and I know some priests prefer penitents to state their sins plainly.

david

 

[David1988]

You could confess to a priest at another parish - in a confessional.

That is my preference, but I do not have time to visit another parish until this weekend, and I do not want to wait that long. I love anonymous confessional booths.

david

 

[BayernAnhaenger]

Hi everybody,

Do you have advice on any of this? Is there anything that can make Confession easier? There is no anonymous option at my parish, and since it is outside of scheduled times, I will have to ask him to meet with me. I’m anxious about my priest looking down on me, especially since I am active in my parish.
david

As far as I know, the parish is canonically BOUND to have “behind a screen” confession.

It is sad to hear that this parish does not operate per Church instructions.

Be sure to confess, mean it, and pick up devotion to Our Blessed Mother.

 

[David1988]

My parish is usually very traditional and faithful, but there are unfortunately unusual space and money constraints at this moment. We don’t even have a real reconciliation room right now.

I just want to get it over with as soon as possible, but I’m still afraid of what my priest will think of me. It’s ok. I will suck it up and do what needs to be done.

david

 

[Lainey63]

David I understand exactly how you feel. Maybe you should ask the priest what you can do to help yourself. Masterbation is one of the hardest sins to overcome. Just like smoking is just about the hardest habit to kick. I’ll be praying for you. Priests don’t generally judge because we commit the same sin over & over again. Just the opposite happens, because you keep humbling yourself and you are struggling to overcome yourself. I have read in the book “My Imitation of Christ” it doesn’t matter what fault or sin you are trying to overcome what matters is the violence or how hard you try. Even if you keep falling, keep trying, God is watching and He is on your side. Remember this, the more intense the battle, the greater the victory. The only time you fail is when you give up. Don’t give up before the miracle happens and it will happen…this is when you know that it is truly the Grace of God and not by our own strength that we overcome such things. Now, if I could only apply this to myself and start a good attempt to quit smoking.

 

[BayernAnhaenger]

My parish is usually very traditional and faithful, but there are unfortunately unusual space and money constraints at this moment. We don’t even have a real reconciliation room right now.

I just want to get it over with as soon as possible, but I’m still afraid of what my priest will think of me. It’s ok. I will suck it up and do what needs to be done.

david

Ah.

Well, just know - he doesn’t care. Well, he does care. He wants you in that confessional, confessing your sins, so you can be absolved.

I’ll include you in my prayers tonight (you’re in good company, with the Poor Souls of Purgatory! )

 

[David1988]

Priests don’t generally judge because we commit the same sin over & over again. Just the opposite happens, because you keep humbling yourself and you are struggling to overcome yourself.

Thank you, Lainey. That was a very helpful post. I hope what you said here is true! I was doing well fighting sins of impurity by praying to Our Mother Mary a lot. I think I need to concentrate on increasing those prayers.

Thank you so much for the posts and prayers, BayernAnhaenger.

david

 

[Kazimer]

David1988 ~

I was once told by a priest that going to confession is a indication of our listening and acting on the pull of the Holy Spirit to seek God’s forgiveness and reconciliation.

So, be of stout heart as you are doing the right thing!

Going to different priests and having anonymous confessions is understandable.

However, I think perhaps in this case, since you stated your sin is against chastity, that maybe having to go to the priest in your parish to confess the same type sin is a blessing.

The reason I state this is because, it is my understanding, with a habitual sin it is indeed a help to you for the priest to work with you to break this habit - as you may have subsequent confessions that involve the same sin.

The priest will guide you and also help you in dealing with your guilt. In this manner, the priest and you are forming an alliance through the power of The Holy Spirit to help you fight your spiritual battle(s).

I know you have sorrow in your heart and soul about this sin against chastity.

This sorrow is a good thing as it is an indication that your conscience/heart/soul are not hardened.

Continuing, you mentioned that you have done well in purity for a couple of weeks and thought you had beaten this habit.

While some people are able to confess and be done with this sort of sin, there are other people who have a longer battle.

There is a Japanese proverb " Fall down seven times, get up eight."

This popular Japanese phrase speaks to the importance of getting back up despite repeated failures and to keep on going despite setbacks.

To reiterate my statement from above, be of brave heart, you are following the right course of action.

 

[David1988]

Thank you, Kazimer. I will try to think about the priest as someone who is on my side of the court (which of course he is).

david

 

[David1988]

Do any of you have problems with feelings of self-hatred when you sin? I feel like I am such a horrible person for choosing to sin against Our Lord. I sometimes get very down on myself, and I sometimes feel like I hate myself instead of just hating my sinful behavior.

Do any of you have advice?

Thanks,
David

 

[Kazimer]

Do any of you have problems with feelings of self-hatred when you sin? I feel like I am such a horrible person for choosing to sin against Our Lord. I sometimes get very down on myself, and I sometimes feel like I hate myself instead of just hating my sinful behavior.

Do any of you have advice?

Thanks,
David

I have felt this way in the past.

It is, I believe, a ploy by the devil to create despair in you - to give up.

Remember - always - God loves you !

I just read the new Archbishop of New York Timothy Dolan’s message today.

I picked out various parts of his remarks that would be inspiring and one of hope for you and me ( all of us.)

---

" God invites us . . . never coerces . . . God invites us to believe in Him, trust Him, accept Him. God invites us to let Him be the Lord of our life; and when we do, our lives are never the same; our lives will last forever!..

Jesus, His son, is the invitation incarnate, as He invites us to a life of meaning, purpose, life to the fullest, life never-ending. To allow Him in is genuine freedom, the start of an adventure in fidelity. Living in the true liberty of Christ is not easy. It requires fidelity and heroic virtue…

Sadly, we have usually tragically said no to God’s invitation, most dramatically at the event we somberly recalled five days ago, Good Friday.

But we have a God who will not take no for an answer, as Easter demonstrates definitively.

And now Christ stands at the door and knocks, and the Church nudges us to open up and invite Him in! …

Realistically, though, we must confess that there’s so much lurking there to keep us from “opening the door” to Jesus!

There’s sin, fear, and sadness to keep us closed-up inside, evident in so many problems and worries …Trepidation; unworthiness; anxiety…

Yet He had his sandal in the door and would not let me shut Him out, as I heard the whisper of the One who says,

“( Insert your name ), be not afraid!”

“My grace is sufficient…”

“Never do I invite one to a task without giving him/her the strength to do it!”

“I am with you all days.”

“Open up and let me in. . . ”

I recalled the words John Paul II spoke down the street at the United Nations: “We must not be afraid of the future. It is no accident that we are here. Every human person has been created in the image and likeness of the One who is the origin of all that is. We have within us the capacity for wisdom and heroic virtue. With these gifts, and with the help of God’s grace, we can build . . . a civilization worthy of the human person, a true culture of freedom, a culture of life. “ …

“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.”]

 

[David1988]

Thank you, Kazimer. Those are wonderful comments by Archbishop Dolan. New York is blessed.