Going to Confession tomorrow.

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CatholicZ09

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So, I have to go to Confession tomorrow, and like most people, I’m scared!

First of all, I haven’t been to Confession in 3 years! That’s pretty bad for me! I’m a regular church-goer, but Confession is not my thing. I just get really nervous and feel awkward somewhat when I’m talking to the priest. The whole time I’m wondering what he’s thinking, like if he’s judging me in his mind.

So, my sins are basically minor, nothing really “big.”

Now, the second issue is, I don’t know what priest to go to. I was thinking about going to my Pastor, but he seems a little tough. I was also deciding if I should go to my Parochial Vicar, because I have a good friend relationship with him and I’m worried if he will think less of me when I confess my sins. 😊. What would you do? What should I do?

Thanks,
Worried CatholicZ

P.S. When you’re talking to the priest in confession, your practically talking to Jesus, right? I know that, but I was just making sure if that was accurate so I’m not spreading false information. Also, how do you calm down?
 
You shouldn’t be worried about how a priest will feel towards you after they hear your Confession. Sure, they are human, but there’s nothing that you can say that the priest probably has not heard already. I’m sure he’s going to be happy that you’re confessing in the first place.

If you still can’t get over that fear, why not go to confession at another parish?
 
You know anything you say in the confessional they have heard before. There was only one original sin.

You can go to confession in another church if you are uncomfortable but in all honesty your Priests will not be tough on you or anything. I do not know either of the men you are talking about so I can not really recommend one as a confessor but I have never really had a “bad” confession experience. Even when I went in and said “Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been 20 years since my last confession”.

Peace,

Mike
 
Yes, he’s probably heard a lot worse many times,
and he will be thankful that you have come to Confession.
And the priest too is human, somebody’s son, somebody’s brother.
He understands human weakness.

Don’t worry so much about what the priests might think about you. Your relationship with God is more important…and what makes any of us feel that our priests are likely to be judgemental? Is it that we feel they don’t live the Christian charity to which they too are called…? If your priest were to judge you unkindly that would be his sin, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to himself have to go to Confession for unkind thoughts and judgements! No, be at peace. Yes, priests go to Confession too…and maybe sometimes that can be hard for them too!

Luke 15:7 “I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”
 
damooster said:
Sure, they are human, but there’s nothing that you can say that the priest probably has not heard already.
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Chances are you’re not confessing anything they haven’t personally confessed themselves!
 
Lucky devil!

Pick the Pastor, if you have a choice. It’s always cool to find the heart of gold under the tough exterior.

Betsy
 
I can’t really add much to what the others have said, but I wouldn’t rule out the Parish Priest because he seems “tough”. There’s always something very difficult about Confession and yet something easy. The difficult part is facing up to your sins - and having to tell them to a priest is a sure way to confront them. The easy part is knowing that you are confessing to the Lord, and that if you are truly sorry for your sins He will forgive you. We all know the saying “no pain, no gain” - well, in the case of Confession the gain infinitely outweighs the pain!

As for the confessor you go to - whether he seems tough or not - he should be orthodox and able to give you good advice in accordance with the Church’s teachings. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with “shopping around” if there are other Catholic churches near you. I normally go to confession at the Franciscan Friary in my city - and have done so since I really started to take the sacrament seriously almost a year ago. I find that they are very good confessors; two in particular have given me wonderful spiritual and practical advice for avoiding certain habitual sins. So, don’t go to a priest whom you think is a “softie” - it’s your soul that needs healing and nourishment in the confessional, not your ego.

Bottom line: be honest. As the others have said, you will not be able to shock the priest! Spend time beforehand, preferably before the Blessed Sacrament, doing a serious examination of conscience. If you need the confessor to help you along, say so…It will be fine! I hope you get the same joy as I did when I returned to Confession. It truly is a great gift.
 
One of my adult Confirmation class hadn’t been to confession for 15 years or so. I had to coax her into it. She came out beaming. She says she confessed, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. My last confession was 15 years ago.” To which he responded, “Well just hit the high spots.” 😉

The record in my experience was in a nursing home. A woman, age 102, who always sat in on our Communion Service finally admitted that she was Catholic, but had been away for about 60 years and asked Father to hear her confession. She died peacefully in her sleep a couple of weeks later.

A couple like that makes you feel like you may have done something useful in your life. 👍
 
Isn’t one of the seven precepts of the church to confess your sins once a year, and if you don’t its a mortal sin (or atleast grave matter)?

Anyway, as a soon-to-be new member of the Church, I love confession, what a merciful God we have!
 
just Pray before you go to confession

It is normal for us to feel ashamed when we sin
like Adam in the garden, after he ate the fruit, God was looking for him and he was hiding.

I did my 1st confession in the last 10 years 2 weeks ago and it was amazing

*tip: think about the eucharist where God’s love is present
think about receiving communion
 
Does anyone know if not going to confession for a year puts you in a state of mortal sin if you are a Catholic, since it’s a precept of the Church? Thanks
 
Jerok said:
Does anyone know if not going to confession for a year puts you in a state of mortal sin if you are a Catholic, since it’s a precept of the Church? Thanks
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It is grave matter. If a Catholic is physically and morally capable of confessing his sins at least once a year, knows that he has a responsibility to do so, and freely chooses not to do so, he should confess this (together with his other sins) as soon as possible.
 
aspirant said:
It is grave matter. If a Catholic is physically and morally capable of confessing his sins at least once a year, knows that he has a responsibility to do so, and freely chooses not to do so, he should confess this (together with his other sins) as soon as possible.
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Okay, then it’s likely that one who didn’t go to confession for a year and still had the Eucharist would have been eating it in mortal sin, even if they didn’t mortally sin during the year, if they knew that it was a precept or should have known, and should probably confess that they had the Eucharist in mortal sin too. I know a few of my friends who are in this situation and I’m kinda hijacking the thread, but it’s important to me.
 
Jerok said:
it’s likely that one who didn’t go to confession for a year and still had the Eucharist would have been eating it in mortal sin
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If they omitted confession knowingly and deliberately, where there was no physical or moral impediment. This is something we should be careful not to simply presume about another person; the Catechism warns against rash judgment: “everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way” (2478). 🙂

And there’s some good advice there from St. Ignatius of Loyola for you to apply in approaching your friends: “Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another’s [action] than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.”
👍
 
I’d like to second aspiran’ts comments.

As to the question of confessing once a year - this is only required if you have grave sins to confess:
Can. 989 After having reached the age of discretion, each member of the faithful is obliged to confess faithfully his or her grave sins at least once a year.
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Still, it’s hard to make progress in overcoming our faults and growing in the spiritual life without going to confession regularly and frequently (like, say once a month?)
 
aspirant said:
If they omitted confession knowingly and deliberately, where there was no physical or moral impediment. This is something we should be careful not to simply presume about another person; the Catechism warns against rash judgment: “everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way” (2478). 🙂

And there’s some good advice there from St. Ignatius of Loyola for you to apply in approaching your friends: “Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another’s [action] than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.”
👍
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Your researched and supported expression of Christian charity aroused my warm and gentle appreciation. 👍 The poster was mentioning the facts, and not judging, but you, I think, were trying to ensure that the OP knew that, without pre-knowledge of the rule, he/she didn’t have yet another cause to be freaked, though now, being aware of the facts, anyone who didn’t previously know, needs to apply them. However Your post shines as a principle that should apply everywhere, and as a witness to your own charity.

You may like another scripture you can add to your quotes!: “Question your friend, he may have done nothing at all, and if he has done something he will not do it again. Question your neighbour, he may have said nothing at all, and if he has, he will not say it again. Question your friend, for slander is very common, do not believe all you hear. A man sometimes makes a slip, without meaning what he says; and which of us has never sinned by speech?” [Ecclesiasticus 1913-17]
 
Trishie said:
You may like another scripture you can add to your quotes!: “Question your friend, he may have done nothing at all, and if he has done something he will not do it again. Question your neighbour, he may have said nothing at all, and if he has, he will not say it again. Question your friend, for slander is very common, do not believe all you hear. A man sometimes makes a slip, without meaning what he says; and which of us has never sinned by speech?” [Ecclesiasticus 1913-17]
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Thank you, this is wonderful. :bounce:
 
So, I went to confession yesterday and I have to say…it went so well! I went to my Parochial Vicar and he was so compassionate and humble. He said I did a really nice confession and he didn’t make me feel nervous at all. He was looking down with his eyes closed and was holding his rosary. It was such an amazing experience. I’m so sad he’s going to be leaving.
 
CatholicZ09 said:
So, I went to confession yesterday and I have to say…it went so well! I went to my Parochial Vicar and he was so compassionate and humble. He said I did a really nice confession and he didn’t make me feel nervous at all. He was looking down with his eyes closed and was holding his rosary. It was such an amazing experience. I’m so sad he’s going to be leaving.
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That’s great to hear - well done! And thanks be to God, needless to say!

You’re very lucky to have such a good confessor. In my experience, they’re due a lot more credit than we give them - I’ve gotten such wise counsel from various confessors.

So, I hope you’ll make regular visits to the confessional! I think it’s a good idea to get into the habit of confessing regularly - I go once a month (more frequently if necessary). When I leave the church after confessing, I put a reminder for my next “appointment” into the calendar on my mobile-phone! Anyway, you know now that you’ve nothing to fear & so much to gain - and it’s useful to go to confession even if you’ve no mortal sins to confess; if you make a “confession of devotion” you will obtain all the graces which come from the sacrament.
 
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