Going to Confession

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If someone haven’t been to confession for a long time (I mean years) and they don’t want to forget to confess any of the sins committed, would the priest allow that person to take in notes to the Confessional listing the sins they have committed so that the sinner can refer to them?
 
It’s definiately ok to bring in a list. When you go in for the first time, tell the Priest that it’s been a few years, you’re a little nervous, and you brought in some notes just so that you don’t forget anything. He’ll understand.

I came back to the Church after about 5 years last April and made sure my first confession back was face-to-face and it was great.
 
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thistle:
If someone haven’t been to confession for a long time (I mean years) and they don’t want to forget to confess any of the sins committed, would the priest allow that person to take in notes to the Confessional listing the sins they have committed so that the sinner can refer to them?
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I am a strong proponent of lists – especially for “big” confessions. If it really has been years, why not consider making a general confession of the sins of your whole life: give you a clean start from scratch. It can be extremely beneficial.
 
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mercygate:
I am a strong proponent of lists – especially for “big” confessions. If it really has been years, why not consider making a general confession of the sins of your whole life: give you a clean start from scratch. It can be extremely beneficial.
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What do you mean by “general confession?” As in not naming them all individually (the ones you’ve forgotten about)?
 
A face to face confession is a good idea. Its been about 6 years and I want to come home.
 
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ckellerman:
What do you mean by “general confession?” As in not naming them all individually (the ones you’ve forgotten about)?
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Ah. I forget that the term “general confession” can be confusing because it *has *been used to refer to a confession of “generalities.” But I used it here to mean a specific, detailed confession of the sins of one’s entire life. General confession is also known as a life confession.
 
A general or life confession can be a good thing, and many people have written these out as a purging and helpful part of the experience. But remember that notes are certainly not required and that many penitents need to be careful about scrupulosity. If getting lots of words on paper and categorizing starts to be the primary effort, rethink how helpful these notes are. You might be surprised at how helpful it is simply to tell the priest how long it has been and answer his questions.
 
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Fortiterinre:
A general or life confession can be a good thing, and many people have written these out as a purging and helpful part of the experience. But remember that notes are certainly not required and that many penitents need to be careful about scrupulosity. If getting lots of words on paper and categorizing starts to be the primary effort, rethink how helpful these notes are. You might be surprised at how helpful it is simply to tell the priest how long it has been and answer his questions.
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When a priest is expecting a general confession, this “let me ask the questions” mode is sometimes how he will approach it. That would have been pastorally awful in my case, where writing it out (and destroying it afterward) was part of the healing process. But I know people for whom the Q&A format has been very successful. If you are planning to prepare a life confession, definitely do not spring this on a priest during “regular” hours. It isn’t fair to others or to the priest. This sort of thing should definitely be by appointment.

However, the OP said it was only 6 years since the last confession. Perhaps a “you-name-it-I-did-it-never-want-to-do-it-again” confession would be adequate. We can’t possibly write the prescription.
 
thistle,

I go to confession every 2 weeks and I always bring notes with me. When I commit a sin, I write it on an index card along with the date. Before I did this, I ended up confessing the same generic things each time I went. Writing the sins down makes them more real for me and increases my desire to avoid repeating them. When I receive absolution, I rip up the card and start with a clean one. So far it seems to be working out well for me. Now, if only I wouldn’t fill up my card every 2 weeks :o …

God Bless,
Gary
 
I go every two to four weeks. And spend hours listing sins and putting what I think to be the worst first. I had a written list my first few face to faces…hey I don’t think he wanted to hear 35 years of sins. Perty much it was go to the highlights the rest will be forgiven, did you viiolate this commandment, which of course was pretty much every one. Don’t beat yourself up over to many past sins you may have forgotten to confess…I’ve been warned about. AlsoPLEASE don’t bring in a long list during regular sceduled confession. I remember one guy in the box for a half hour…set up a meeting
 
Come on home, and don’t worry about a list. It’s acceptable. I go once a week, and when I have a bad week, I take a list and destroy it afterwards.
 
List 👍
I remember my first confession after returning home.
I was attending church here and there but did not go to confession.
I became a revert 2 years ago.
It was 15 plus years between confessions; two pages and took about half hour.
 
I make a list everytime. Problem is, I’m paranoid. I’m afraid I’ll get hit by a bus, get rushed to the emergency room and some nurse or orderly will find my list and start reading it. :o

I’ve overcome that fear by abbreviating. Be warned, however. Sometimes I forget what the abbreviation means. Is it impatience, impurity, implacablity???..so then I just wing it. :bigyikes:
 
I am 42 comming up this November 7th…i remember going to my first confession as a child, and again that year with my class.

I attended catholic elementary school (up to gr. 8) In those years i remember getting my first communion and then in gr. 8 choosing a sponsor, a new name for my Confirmation and never felt more spiritual then at that time.

since that young and tender first two times that i went to confession as a child, i have never ever been to one again. I have never left the church, but now seem to be drawn to it so deeply. I am very afraid…actually terrified. I can not seem to muster up enough strength to tell someone of deep faith my wrongs, be truly sorry, and it devistates me to think of them being disapointed in me.

I have simply not forgotten to ask for forgiveness, as i deeply pledge to my holy father what i have done wrong, and ask him to forgive me…i simply have not gone to church face to face with a priest to do so.

What makes this fear so terribly real, to get to the door of the church, and vomit, choke and go home. It is not the sin, it is telling a stranger that scares me…i’ve already discussed this in great detail with God, but i can not get past the other.

Allana
 
Allana,

Why don’t you make an appointment to have a face to face confession with your priest? It would be more like just sitting down with him and having a conversation. He can walk you through it. You don’t have to know all of the right things to do or say. Just speak from your heart just like you do to God. It’s OK to cry and be emotional too. I will tell you what, every priest I have ever talked to at confession, has been so kind and so understanding, their voice so soothing and healing. Don’t let anxiety rob you of this wonderful sacrament. If you need to ask someone you trust to call and make the appointment for you. Ask them to walk you in. Whatever it takes to make you comfortable. Once you go, you’ll wonder why you ever waited.
 
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dulcissima:
Allana,

Why don’t you make an appointment to have a face to face confession with your priest? It would be more like just sitting down with him and having a conversation. He can walk you through it. You don’t have to know all of the right things to do or say. Just speak from your heart just like you do to God. It’s OK to cry and be emotional too. I will tell you what, every priest I have ever talked to at confession, has been so kind and so understanding, their voice so soothing and healing. Don’t let anxiety rob you of this wonderful sacrament. If you need to ask someone you trust to call and make the appointment for you. Ask them to walk you in. Whatever it takes to make you comfortable. Once you go, you’ll wonder why you ever waited.
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Its a sacriment?..How did i miss this part in my education? Having someone make the apointment for me might help, then he will know why i am there before i open my mouth. The only part i remember is, “Father forgive me for i have sinned, it has been since my first confession as a child since my last confession.” and somewhere i say, “for these and all my sins, i am truly sorry.” I do not remember anything else…i have tried to remember so many times, and i simply do not recall the walk through apointed sayings.
 
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dulcissima:
Allana,

Why don’t you make an appointment to have a face to face confession with your priest? It would be more like just sitting down with him and having a conversation. He can walk you through it. You don’t have to know all of the right things to do or say. Just speak from your heart just like you do to God. It’s OK to cry and be emotional too. I will tell you what, every priest I have ever talked to at confession, has been so kind and so understanding, their voice so soothing and healing. Don’t let anxiety rob you of this wonderful sacrament. If you need to ask someone you trust to call and make the appointment for you. Ask them to walk you in. Whatever it takes to make you comfortable. Once you go, you’ll wonder why you ever waited.
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I totally agree with you. That’s what I did. I made an appointment with the priest for a face to face confession. In fact he finished a baptism and we just sat in the pews of the church. All my guilt and fears disappeared and when he said “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” I cried. After he left I sat in the church praying for a while. That day was the happiest and most at peace I have been for years and years.
 
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TheRam:
I am 42 comming up this November 7th…i remember going to my first confession as a child, and again that year with my class.

. . . since that young and tender first two times that i went to confession as a child, i have never ever been to one again. . . . It is not the sin, it is telling a stranger that scares me…i’ve already discussed this in great detail with God, but i can not get past the other.

Allana
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Beloved,
  1. Start yourself off on the right foot by refraining from receiving the Blessed Sacrament until this is over. (And be sure to confess having received the Sacrament sacreligiously for almost 30 years.
  2. Ask Jesus to make this Confession for you.
  3. Rejoice in your shame. Not only is shame a gift of God, but it is a wholesome signal of how much false pride you still have in you and it is also a form of penance.
  4. Your age puts you in the period of the Church where nobody taught us much of anything about the faith. Take heart. God is teaching you in his own way. It is wonderful that he has brought you this far.
  5. You don’t have to go face-to-face. Would it help you to make an appointment with somebody you know? They won’t be disappointed in you. It is far more “disappointing” when a Christian rejects Jesus by staying away from Confession. Frankly, the blacker your sins are, the greater the grace – and the priest will know that. Sometimes they even give you a little encouragement afterwards. The priest who took my first Confession in the Catholic Church (adult convert here) said: “You are SO honest! How did you DO that?” They know. They admire the courage of a penitent who bravely faces up to his sin.
  6. You say, “It is not the sin, it is telling a stranger that scares me.” Read that again. Meditate on it. You are more afraid of telling the Priest who is there to pour out God’s mercy on you in this Christ-given Sacrament than you are of the sin that put Jesus on the cross? I don’t believe you are. I believe you are asking these questions because God is pouring his grace into you right now, giving you the strength to receive his mercy as he intends it to be received. You know this Sacrament is for our good. (And is it EVER!)
As the ad says: Just DO it! – and let us know how it went.

Godspeed.
 
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TheRam:
Its a sacriment?..How did i miss this part in my education?
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AAAaaahhhhrrrggh! What did I say earlier? Your generation was abandoned and neglected to the point of abuse by the Church. God has mighty things in store for you bringing you from “It’s a Sacrament?” to the holy desire for reconciliation. He’s doing this for you.

Big high five and giant cyber-hug coming your way.
 
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