Going to hell

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I hate myself for having negative feelings rather than very many positive ones. Then when I can’t hold them in any longer I hate myself when I express them. I just wish they’d go away. Many people equate me with “Eeyore” the donkey character in the Winnie the Pooh stories who is always sad. I’ve always been told that Christians are suppose to be joyful and happy, but I find that near impossible. Like “whatever is true, honorable,just,pure, lovely, praise-worthy, think on these things” (Philippians 4:8) but somehow it isn’t happening for me.🤷 I’m suppose to be “strong in the Lord and the power of his might” but what’s that mean? Might as well tell me to understand the Theory of Relativity.
This morning I had a thought: There’s a “doll” - really just a thin piece of fabric shaped roughly like a person. Its soft and fluffy, with a simple touch the “grey fluff” whiffs out the way a puffball fugus releases its grey spores when you step on it. The “grey fluff” is just the negative feelings stuffed inside.

That’s was my thought about you trying to stuff negative thoughts or feeling.

Another idea is if someone decides not take the filled trash bags out of the house, but just takes the trash bag to the door. The next day, they do the same. At the end of the week, the trash sitting at the door is really “bad”. Now, if the trash (the negative things we don’t want in our house) is taken out each day, there is no build up of trash at the door.

If you let the negative thoughts and feeling be expressed as they occur, you don’t have the huge swell of needing “to get it off your chest” when it builds up to over flowing.

Your feelings are not wrong.

It is not a sin to have negative thoughts or feelings.

I admire you for trying so hard to not have negative thoughts or feelings and admire you for trying to suff them away. At the same time, I don’t think anyone is called to do this. I don’t think it is healthy to force yourself not to have negative thoughts and not to express them.

Look what dwelling on the idea that you can not have a negative thought is doing to you. You stuff it. Then after awhile - you can’t “hold” it any longer - now you hate yourself for expressing them. You want your negative feelings to “just go away”, but that is not how feelings work. Supressing feelings is not healthy.

You are trying to force an unnatural idea of emotions. The fact that you can’t do this, causes you to hate yourself.

Christians can’t always be joyful and happy.

I have a neighbor who always has a positive spin on everything no matter what. By the definition that Christians are always joyful and happy, I know ONE Christian.

Your sadness which causes people to equate you with Eeyore, might lessen if you release yourself from the idea you must always be joyful and happy.

Thinking I failed at Christianity because I had negative feelings, would make me sad, too.

I think when St. Paul wrote to the Philippians that thoughts should be director towrds that which is honest, pure, etc. I think it also means don’t be thinking sinful things - lust, greed.

Don’t worry about what being “strong in the Lord and the power of his might” means. Follow the teachings of the Church. The Church never says - positive feelings only.

On this Veteran’s Day, thank you for serving in the military.:thankyou:
 
This morning I had a thought: There’s a “doll” - really just a thin piece of fabric shaped roughly like a person. Its soft and fluffy, with a simple touch the “grey fluff” whiffs out the way a puffball fugus releases its grey spores when you step on it. The “grey fluff” is just the negative feelings stuffed inside.

That’s was my thought about you trying to stuff negative thoughts or feeling.

Another idea is if someone decides not take the filled trash bags out of the house, but just takes the trash bag to the door. The next day, they do the same. At the end of the week, the trash sitting at the door is really “bad”. Now, if the trash (the negative things we don’t want in our house) is taken out each day, there is no build up of trash at the door.

If you let the negative thoughts and feeling be expressed as they occur, you don’t have the huge swell of needing “to get it off your chest” when it builds up to over flowing.

Your feelings are not wrong.

It is not a sin to have negative thoughts or feelings.

I admire you for trying so hard to not have negative thoughts or feelings and admire you for trying to suff them away. At the same time, I don’t think anyone is called to do this. I don’t think it is healthy to force yourself not to have negative thoughts and not to express them.

Look what dwelling on the idea that you can not have a negative thought is doing to you. You stuff it. Then after awhile - you can’t “hold” it any longer - now you hate yourself for expressing them. You want your negative feelings to “just go away”, but that is not how feelings work. Supressing feelings is not healthy.

You are trying to force an unnatural idea of emotions. The fact that you can’t do this, causes you to hate yourself.

Christians can’t always be joyful and happy.

I have a neighbor who always has a positive spin on everything no matter what. By the definition that Christians are always joyful and happy, I know ONE Christian.

Your sadness which causes people to equate you with Eeyore, might lessen if you release yourself from the idea you must always be joyful and happy.

Thinking I failed at Christianity because I had negative feelings, would make me sad, too.

I think when St. Paul wrote to the Philippians that thoughts should be director towrds that which is honest, pure, etc. I think it also means don’t be thinking sinful things - lust, greed.

Don’t worry about what being “strong in the Lord and the power of his might” means. Follow the teachings of the Church. The Church never says - positive feelings only.
Then all those years of being in the “Word-Faith” part of evangelical protestant Christendom sold me a “bill of goods” that will never cash in, except to make me more confused, frustrated, feeling ripped-off, and that I’m something less than human because I could not make what they taught me work to my benefit. To me that WAS the Church! I was not raised in any church environment, never went to church on a regular basis until I was 26, and then got caught up in a very large Assembly of God where they taught that I had to be “born-again” by saying a “sinners prayer” They had a very charismatic head pastor who I became attached to until a year later he was killed in an airplane crash along with several other men of that church who flew to South Dakota to help some elderly missionaries construct some buildings for an Indian tribe and when the team came back to Illinois the airplane developed mechanical trouble somewhere over Minnesota and crashed, killing the pastor and everyone else on board.
 
Then all those years of being in the “Word-Faith” part of evangelical protestant Christendom sold me a “bill of goods” that will never cash in, except to make me more confused, frustrated, feeling ripped-off, and that I’m something less than human because I could not make what they taught me work to my benefit. To me that WAS the Church! I was not raised in any church environment, never went to church on a regular basis until I was 26, and then got caught up in a very large Assembly of God where they taught that I had to be “born-again” by saying a “sinners prayer” They had a very charismatic head pastor who I became attached to until a year later he was killed in an airplane crash along with several other men of that church who flew to South Dakota to help some elderly missionaries construct some buildings for an Indian tribe and when the team came back to Illinois the airplane developed mechanical trouble somewhere over Minnesota and crashed, killing the pastor and everyone else on board.
I’m sorry your pastor who you really liked and the men who volunteered their time for others died in an awful crash. You can offer them a gift today by praying for their souls.
During November, most parishes have a way you can list the names of those you want to pray for that have died. You can add their names or simply “Church Missionary Friends” to the list .
 
Then all those years of being in the “Word-Faith” part of evangelical protestant Christendom sold me a “bill of goods” that will never cash in, except to make me more confused, frustrated, feeling ripped-off, and that I’m something less than human because I could not make what they taught me work to my benefit. To me that WAS the Church! I was not raised in any church environment, never went to church on a regular basis until I was 26, and then got caught up in a very large Assembly of God where they taught that I had to be “born-again” by saying a “sinners prayer” They had a very charismatic head pastor who I became attached to until a year later he was killed in an airplane crash along with several other men of that church who flew to South Dakota to help some elderly missionaries construct some buildings for an Indian tribe and when the team came back to Illinois the airplane developed mechanical trouble somewhere over Minnesota and crashed, killing the pastor and everyone else on board.
The good news is that “bill of goods” they sold you isn’t the teachings of the Church. You don’t own it any more, even if you bought it years ago. Let it go. (Easy for me to say.)
You are free of the misteachings of those Protestant denomination.

As a Cradle Catholic, hearing someone came into the Church because they wanted to is amazing. Hearing someone came to the Christian faith on their own is amazing.

I am so lucky. That “Faith of our Fathers” was literally handed down from generation to generation to me. With a Catholic family background going back to Germany…I was served The Church on a silver platter. I believe the teachings with all my heart. How simple when it was just part of life from parent to child on down.

Today you are Catholic!!! Praise God you first found Him. Praise God you found His Church.
 
The good news is that “bill of goods” they sold you isn’t the teachings of the Church. You don’t own it any more, even if you bought it years ago. Let it go. (Easy for me to say.)
You are free of the misteachings of those Protestant denomination.

As a Cradle Catholic, hearing someone came into the Church because they wanted to is amazing. Hearing someone came to the Christian faith on their own is amazing.

I am so lucky. That “Faith of our Fathers” was literally handed down from generation to generation to me. With a Catholic family background going back to Germany…I was served The Church on a silver platter. I believe the teachings with all my heart. How simple when it was just part of life from parent to child on down.

Today you are Catholic!!! Praise God you first found Him. Praise God you found His Church.
It was no silver platter I got it served to me on! I had to go through much confusion, frustration and disillusionment before I got to the true church! Even then I had to unlearn the concept that it WASN"T the true church at all. I had read bunches of “Jack Chick” tracts purporting that the Pope was antichrist, the Vatican was the whore of Babylon, there were all sorts of secret, spooky things going on in the Catholic “cult” That Augustine and Constantine ruined the early Church, you name it, I probably heard it some time or other.
 
It was no silver platter I got it served to me on! I had to go through much confusion, frustration and disillusionment before I got to the true church! Even then I had to unlearn the concept that it WASN"T the true church at all. I had read bunches of “Jack Chick” tracts purporting that the Pope was antichrist, the Vatican was the whore of Babylon, there were all sorts of secret, spooky things going on in the Catholic “cult” That Augustine and Constantine ruined the early Church, you name it, I probably heard it some time or other.
Your journey is amazing…you went through a lot on your journey to the Catholic Church.

I love watching people come into the Church at the Easter Vigil Mass.

The harder the journey, the more I am amazed at the strength of those like you who join the Church.
 
Last night was not good. My thoughts tend to wander in the night. My negatives thoughts tend to be occupy either how the world would be better if I got what I wanted (should have been, could have been and would have be) or if I had died young. There were times when I could have died either through accidents (mostly falls) and times when I was almost abducted. No Amber Alerts in those days, let alone pictures on milk cartons. A large part of me wish I didn’t go beyond those years since I would have avoided years of suffering and would have had a chance at heaven instead. Where I would have been in life, someone else would have taken my place and, where I was a detriment, they would have been an asset. Instead of a pessimist, people I had interacted with might have met an optimist who brightened their lives instead of darkening it. Their energies that were wasted on trying to help and cheer me up would have gone to people who deserved it more, people they missed because of me. My spot in engineering might have gone to someone who would have invented the IPad a decade ago. My spot in teacher education might have gone to someone who would have got a position and inspired countless students. People might say I should forget about the past and focus on the future, but the future become the present and becomes the past, which ends up the same thing. Even if things do change, I lack the ability to appreciate it. Also, other might say I was meant to be where I was. Yet, I can’t help the thought or feeling I was there either as an obstacle for His chosen or as a assignment for the same, which enriched them. Either way they moved on afterwards and I was/am/will be replaceable. After all, when you get to heaven and see God face to face, I and many, many others will be be completely forgotten.
 
Here’s mine. I’m from a home with abusive parents, which included an alcoholic father.’…

I was developing depression, which later lead to a double diagnosis of dysthymia and schizoid personality disorder.

Being denied happiness, I eat a lot and drink Pepsi (2-liters a day and, no, I don’t have diabetes) to get some small sense of pleasure.

My appearance and speech make people not take me seriously.

found my problems were drug-resistant.

plus inadequate social skills,… used to solitary activities and love as an emotion is unknown to me.

I do respond to anger and the accompanying adrenaline rush.

I’ve been told to offer it up. But why should I give to people who already have so much more than I do and never give a thought to me?

Could I change and try the path? Yes, but I’ve failed at everything else. Why should I succeed here. It might work for a while, then I stumble and die.
Methos, thank you for sharing with us. You suffer a lot and in a lot of different areas.
I don’t know anything about these things, but I want to share hope that you do not have to settle for this suffering.

I’m sorry you suffer the pains of abusive parents and an alcoholic father. You didn’t deserve this and you didn’t deserve the suffering from teachers.

Our bodies are like a house. In our home there are things we can do to keep day to day order. Sometimes something happens and we need to do self-repair or work along side someone as we make the repair. Sometimes we need a professional for repairs. Most people can’t reroof their home, fix the a/c, replace a gas line, and repair the foundation. We don’t expect to call one person to be the expert in all those repairs.

I think you need help from a variety of places, as we all do in our lives.

You suffered as a child from an abusive parents with an alcoholic father. The pain didn’t stop just because the abuse stopped. This still affects you. I’m sure you already have read much on the topic. When you think about this being part of the cause of your depression pain, it is good to know someone can help you.

aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/children_of_alcoholics

al-anon.alateen.org/is-alanon-for-you

You have been diagnosed with dysthymia and schizoid personality disorder, but you do not have to settle for not getting out of couseling what you needed or for drugs “can not help you”. Search and search until you find the professionals who work best with you. This area is where you need professionals. They will not make it all go away, but they can help you to heal, to be at a better level against the depression.

You mention social skills. There are a variety of therapies that can help. Many people deal with issues related to social skills. Sometimes people are taught poor social skills, but often its because of a problem that they suffer like autism spectrum disorders: autism, aspergers, pdd-nos or those with tics and ocd. With therapy and self-help those who suffer issues with social skills can retrain themselves to be more conforming.

You express that you want different social skills.

Look for help with behavior therapy or social skills, maybe even through occupational therapy. Don’t stop looking until you find the help you need to not feel your social skills drag you down.

You look for pleasure in food and Pepsi. Its not healthy to find our pleasure in eating. Even though you may not be over-weight, look to a support group like Weight Watchers. Emotional eating is not good for you.

Over consumption of soda has more problems than just diabetes. Diabetes is serious. The other problems with soda can make your pains even worse. Withdrawing yourself from the consumption of soda can be hard. You can find advice on how to do so and support from groups like WW. Sodas (or any product) sweetened with High Fructose Corn Syrup can be even worse for your body. Diet products sweetened with aspartame bring more problems.

fitnessgoop.com/2010/08/health-effects-of-drinking-soda/

There are many areas that might help you improved your depression. I want to encourage you not to settle for “offering it up”.

Wheat and/ or Gluten are other substances associated with health problems including depression. You don’t have to have celiac disease to find improvements with a gluten free or wheat free diet. Maybe the book *Wheat Belly *or the blog would be helpful. (Gluten is a protein in wheat, barley, and rye. A gluten-free diet includes being wheat-free. A wheat-free diet does not mean gluten-free, as gluten is in other grains.)

wheatbellyblog.com/2012/10/wheat-belly-enemy-of-big-pharma/

wheatbellyblog.com/

Depression comes into our life so many ways: like water leaking through the roof, under the door, from an overflowing toilet, and because we left the window open. We need to stop the water at all its entries. I want you to control your depression in all the areas were it infiltrates your life.

I’m so sorry you have experienced pain and depression in so many areas of your life. You don’t have to “offer it up”, you don’t have to accept that there is no what out of this deep and multilevel of depression.

May God give you the graces to search and search for help. May He give you the strength to take the steps to try new paths and to trudge down them towards your goals.

:console:
 
Last night was not good. My thoughts tend to wander in the night. My negatives thoughts tend to be occupy either how the world would be better if I got what I wanted (should have been, could have been and would have be) or if I had died young. There were times when I could have died either through accidents (mostly falls) and times when I was almost abducted. No Amber Alerts in those days, let alone pictures on milk cartons. A large part of me wish I didn’t go beyond those years since I would have avoided years of suffering and would have had a chance at heaven instead. Where I would have been in life, someone else would have taken my place and, where I was a detriment, they would have been an asset. Instead of a pessimist, people I had interacted with might have met an optimist who brightened their lives instead of darkening it. Their energies that were wasted on trying to help and cheer me up would have gone to people who deserved it more, people they missed because of me. My spot in engineering might have gone to someone who would have invented the IPad a decade ago. My spot in teacher education might have gone to someone who would have got a position and inspired countless students. People might say I should forget about the past and focus on the future, but the future become the present and becomes the past, which ends up the same thing. Even if things do change, I lack the ability to appreciate it. Also, other might say I was meant to be where I was. Yet, I can’t help the thought or feeling I was there either as an obstacle for His chosen or as a assignment for the same, which enriched them. Either way they moved on afterwards and I was/am/will be replaceable. After all, when you get to heaven and see God face to face, I and many, many others will be be completely forgotten.
Methos, your pains are the pains of depression which has in turned brought you to feel you are a non-deserving person.

Depression that keeps you from enjoying life and yourself is very serious. In your other message you express lots of avenues where depression has attacked you. Do not deal with this alone.

The reason people offer you a positive attitute on why you are here… is because it is true. Your low esteem causes you so much pain. You do not have to resign yourself to live with low esteem.

You can see the value of others. Others see the value in you. We are all woven together. I can tell you good reasons that you lived past the accidents and attempted abduction. In your low esteem and depression, you will not see what I am saying.

What you have to know today is you can rise above this. You may see no reason to rise above, but that is the depression.

You have to begin the race to get your depression under control and improve your self esteem. That first step is the hardest. Especially when you look at the last time you fell. No one gets to the finish line without falling and falling.

Night times are often the hardest. Seek help as to how to bring comfort to the night. What you eat and drink, when you eat and drink, the temperature of your room, the amount of exposure to the light of tv and computer, the time of computer/ tv use…all affect the comfort of the night.

May God give you that glimmer of hope that encourages you to keep going against this pain of depression. May God give you the muscle to keep going even when its painful. May God let you see you are a valued and loved child of God.

:angel1:
 
Me again.

Well, once again it has happened. I am having difficulty at work. My boss is unhappy with the job I’ve been doing as are my customers. I thought everything was fine and then a month ago, it was like a bombshell was dropped on me.

I’ve been tying to make improvements but it just seems like one thing after another keeps happening to make things worse. It’s especially troubling because I know I’m under the microscope right now. it doesn’t matter whether it is “my fault” or not. The fact is that if something isn’t right - even if it is beyond my control - I am held responsible.

A few years ago I went for almost two years unemployed. I’m not going through that again. I’ve already told my wife that if I lose my job again, she had just better be prepared for the worst.

So, God, if you really love me, now would be a good time to prove it.
 
Me again.

Well, once again it has happened. I am having difficulty at work. My boss is unhappy with the job I’ve been doing as are my customers. I thought everything was fine and then a month ago, it was like a bombshell was dropped on me.

I’ve been tying to make improvements but it just seems like one thing after another keeps happening to make things worse. It’s especially troubling because I know I’m under the microscope right now. it doesn’t matter whether it is “my fault” or not. The fact is that if something isn’t right - even if it is beyond my control - I am held responsible.

A few years ago I went for almost two years unemployed. I’m not going through that again. I’ve already told my wife that if I lose my job again, she had just better be prepared for the worst.

So, God, if you really love me, now would be a good time to prove it.
Dear Lost Sheep,

I am so saddened to read your message. I wish things were better at work. I can tell from your message you are working hard to meet their expectations. That awful feeling of being under the microscope and trying so hard, even getting held responsible for thing you can’t control.

Is there anyway to sit with the boss and ask for “suggestions”? It may be a “way” to get to express how you are working hard on improvements.

God does love you and He proves it in so many ways. What he doesn’t do is “make” your boss change his way of critiquing you and blaming you for things that are not your fault. See, God will not take away the free will of your employer.

Ask God to guide you in your work each day. Ask God to help your employer see you in a just manner and that he treat you justly.

God will not “force” the employer to be just. We can ask God to help him, but He will not take away his free will.

So many people suffer in so many ways. God loves all of us. His proof of His Love is not just making our rough times smooth.

I pray God can give you peace at work so you don’t feel the stress under this microscope. I pray you will be able to see what you can change and your employer can see what things are beyond your control.

Please, Dear God, let Lost Sheep feel you are holding him during this rough time. Let Him feel you do love him. Let his fears slip away. Let his block that keeps him from feeling your Love be lifted. Let his friends and family bring Him your love. Let him know you have always been His Shepherd searching for him if he felt lost. Amen.
 
Dear Lost Sheep,

I am so saddened to read your message. I wish things were better at work. I can tell from your message you are working hard to meet their expectations. That awful feeling of being under the microscope and trying so hard, even getting held responsible for thing you can’t control.

Is there anyway to sit with the boss and ask for “suggestions”? It may be a “way” to get to express how you are working hard on improvements.

God does love you and He proves it in so many ways. What he doesn’t do is “make” your boss change his way of critiquing you and blaming you for things that are not your fault. See, God will not take away the free will of your employer.

Ask God to guide you in your work each day. Ask God to help your employer see you in a just manner and that he treat you justly.

God will not “force” the employer to be just. We can ask God to help him, but He will not take away his free will.

So many people suffer in so many ways. God loves all of us. His proof of His Love is not just making our rough times smooth.

I pray God can give you peace at work so you don’t feel the stress under this microscope. I pray you will be able to see what you can change and your employer can see what things are beyond your control.

Please, Dear God, let Lost Sheep feel you are holding him during this rough time. Let Him feel you do love him. Let his fears slip away. Let his block that keeps him from feeling your Love be lifted. Let his friends and family bring Him your love. Let him know you have always been His Shepherd searching for him if he felt lost. Amen.
Thank you, but I doubt it will do any good. I’m tired of trying to keep the faith. I want God to answer my prayers on my terms and on my schedule. Period. Until He does that I will have no reason to believe He loves me.
 
Thank you, but I doubt it will do any good. I’m tired of trying to keep the faith. I want God to answer my prayers on my terms and on my schedule. Period. Until He does that I will have no reason to believe He loves me.
Lost_Sheep: Like you I have had trouble believing God loves me, A major reason being God never seems to answer my prayers on my schedule. If he ever does answer it is on his terms and his schedule, so I never can see a direct answer to MY prayers. Have you ever read James chapter 5 verse 16 about " the prayer of a righteous person is very powerful"? I can never seem to apply that to myself since my prayers don’t appear to even have the power to go beyond the ceiling. And so I keep trying to find a “righteous person” to pray for me. Prior to becoming Catholic I didn’t know anything about the Communion of Saints I didn’t believe I could ask “dead” people to pray for me and I am still a bit shaky about this. But as I go along and study about Catholicism I am coming to believe that THEY aren’t the “dead” ones. Instead it’s ME because I don’t have direct access to the Throne like they do. Thanks for bearing with my raving but I now believe that on October 6, 2012 someone, somewhere had me on their mind and prayed for me because otherwise I’d be deceased right now after someone broadsided me after ignoring a traffic signal. Don’t know whether it was a Church Militant Christian or a Church Triumphant Christian and it doesn’t really matter because the important thing is I’m still alive and able to tell about it. BLESSINGS! legoge1947
 
Thank you, but I doubt it will do any good. I’m tired of trying to keep the faith. I want God to answer my prayers on my terms and on my schedule. Period. Until He does that I will have no reason to believe He loves me.
We give everything over to God, everything…even our trust…everything…even our terms and schedule and needs.

We totally empty ourselves to God.

The sheep does not worry. His shepherd takes care of him.

Ask God to grant you an openness to depend 100% on Him.

Ask God to guide you where He wants you to go in every aspect.

Forget about your prayer list with your terms and schedule…Trust…Trust…that God is going to always be with you.

With or without our earthly jobs, our earthy homes and possessions, our frail human bodies, our temporal needs…Trust that God will help us…not to give us employment, not to give us a dwelling place or material things, not even to give us health of mind and body…all these things will fade away.

I know that is asking a lot for anyone. I know you are hurting with pains and worries and sufferings with depression.

Can you just sit and let your mind go totally blank? Offer that as a prayer to God.
 
We give everything over to God, everything…even our trust…everything…even our terms and schedule and needs.

We totally empty ourselves to God.

The sheep does not worry. His shepherd takes care of him.

Ask God to grant you an openness to depend 100% on Him.

Ask God to guide you where He wants you to go in every aspect.

Forget about your prayer list with your terms and schedule…Trust…Trust…that God is going to always be with you.

With or without our earthly jobs, our earthy homes and possessions, our frail human bodies, our temporal needs…Trust that God will help us…not to give us employment, not to give us a dwelling place or material things, not even to give us health of mind and body…all these things will fade away.

I know that is asking a lot for anyone. I know you are hurting with pains and worries and sufferings with depression.

Can you just sit and let your mind go totally blank? Offer that as a prayer to God.
Employment, dwelling places, material things, health of mind and body. They may fade away eventually but in the HERE AND NOW they come in mighty handy. And the here and now is what I am concerned about at this time. Also I don’t think God intends for our minds to go totally blank. That’s not Christianity–that’s some kind of Eastern mysticism. Besides, I have enough trouble already with my mind going blank.🤷
 
Employment, dwelling places, material things, health of mind and body. They may fade away eventually but in the HERE AND NOW they come in mighty handy. And the here and now is what I am concerned about at this time. Also I don’t think God intends for our minds to go totally blank. That’s not Christianity–that’s some kind of Eastern mysticism. Besides, I have enough trouble already with my mind going blank.🤷
I only meant that we can not spend so much time being worried about them, worried about the future of them. We work as best as we can to provide our needs and our health, but we have to trust we will have as much as we need, not as much as we want, but as much as we need.

The Missionaries of Charity (Mother Teresa’s Order) place all their trust in God. All of their needs are provided, without them ever asking for money.

Obviously, they are different than us the laity. But, I watch as they receive everything they need to serve the poor in their mist. They ask for our personal help, but never money. They live so simple and provide so much to so many, not luxuries, but needs and love.

Sister (I simply call them all by the same name - Sister) once told me they only own three saris, one they are wearing, one on the line drying, and one folded on the shelf. They have their own prayer books. Sister said they move to a different bed every few months. They move to a different placemat and place at the table every few months. Sister said it keeps them from thinking “anything” is their own.

Obviously, we are not called to live like that…but going to the Sisters and thinking how they live, helps me realize how much we do not need.

You and I have to manage our own medical needs. I am always amazed every time Sisters need medical care…it comes to them. There will be a doctor that offers his care, even arranging hospital cost to be covered.

I don’t expect God to do that for me and my family, but it shows me how God provides all the needs for the Sister. He does so through the generosity of others. At times these doctors who “happen” to come in contact with Sister during a medical need, aren’t Catholic. Someone sees Sister has a need and they offer it. Sister in turn is giving her “all” to Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poor, the poorest of the poor.

I share this because it “teaches” me so much. Sisters do not “earn” any money. We do. So, God isn’t going to supply us with all our wants or needs. God gives us want we need. We may not have the best of anything, health or wealth, but we are cared for…when I look at the poor of the other countries where Sister serves the poorest of the poor, I see the wealth and abundance of the typical American.

As to praying by just “being”, I will make that a separate post. I will share with you from the Missionaries of Charity and Lay M.C. Prayer Book.

Quieting ourselves, sitting, listening, listening,…not talking to God…listening. Sometimes we can’t hear God because we are so busy talking to God that we aren’t listening. Quieting my mind is hard for me.

The most peaceful place I find is the simple chapel at Sisters. Quiet and peaceful.
 
From … Missionaries of Charity and Lay M.C. Prayer Book

PRAYER BEFORE MEDITATION

O my Divine Master, teach me to hold myself in silence before you; to adore you
in the depth of my being; to wait upon you always and never to ask anything of
you but the fulfillment of your will. Teach me to let you act in me and form in
me the simple prayer that says little but includes everything. Grant me this
favour for the glory of your name. Amen.

PRAYER AFTER MEDITATION

Ever Virgin Mary, Mother of God, conceived without original sin, assumed body
and soul into Heaven, bless your own Missionaries of Charity; keep us free from
all stain of sin; make us meek, pure and humble of heart.

Ever Virgin Mary, Mother of Jesus and Our Mother, we entrust ourselves and our
tiny little Society to your Maternal care and protection. Help us to understand
more clearly and more deeply our specific vocation and mission in the Church and
in the world today; and to live it more faithfully and more perseveringly all
the days of our life.

Ever Virgin Mary, Mother of the poor, Mediatrix of all graces, as you noticed
the shortage of wine at Cana and pointed this out to your Beloved Son Jesus, do
the same now with your Son, we pray. Point out to Him of whatever shortage we
have, especially the shortage of good and holy vocations. Help us to grow in
number and in holiness and to persevere unto death.

Be with us Mary, as you were with the Apostles in the Upper Room to prepare our
hearts to be the worthy dwelling places of the Holy Spirit. May our life of
prayer, penance and works of mercy be a daily Pentecostal experience for all of
us, and a continual Pentecost for our Society.

Take, O Lord, and receive all our liberty, our memory, our understanding and our
whole will, whatever we have and possess. You have given us all these; to you O
Lord we restore them; all are yours, dispose of them in any way according to
your will. Give us your love and your grace, for this is enough for us.
 
From… Missionaries of Charity and Lay M.C. Prayer Book

SIX POINTS TO HELP YOU IN YOUR MEDITATION
  1. Read the suggested Scriptural text slowly and reflectively the evening
    before; let the words settle in your whole being and become part of you. This
    remote preparation is conducive to prayer because the Word of God rests in the
    subconscious mind and conditions you for a personal meeting with Jesus the next
    morning.
  2. Choose a place and posture for prayer which is relaxing. Taking a
    sufficiently long period of time to settle down and feel relaxed. If you
    concentrate on your breathing you will find it a good means of relaxing.
  3. Be aware of the presence of God. As you breathe rhythmically pronounce the
    name of Jesus deep in your heart, not with your lips. This will prove helpful in
    bringing you into the awareness of His abiding presence.
  4. Take up the Word of God and read it reflectively with frequent pauses to
    ascertain what message the Lord wishes to convey to you. Let it speak to you, a
    word, a phrase, an expression at a time. Rest with it. Let it sink into your
    whole being. Let it find a home in your heart.
  5. Pray by listening and responding with love. Be for God and let Him be for
    you. Rest in His presence. A lover longs to be in the presence of the one he
    loves. God loves you and you love Him. Hunger for His presence as you await His
    personal message for you. Then respond to Him in love and gratitude as the
    Spirit moves you.
  6. You will find it rewarding to keep a spiritual journal (a brief account of
    the highlights of your hour or prayer). A rereading of your journal from time to
    time will deepen the experience you enjoyed in prayer. This repetition will be
    extremely beneficial for your spiritual growth.
 
I only meant that we can not spend so much time being worried about them, worried about the future of them. We work as best as we can to provide our needs and our health, but we have to trust we will have as much as we need, not as much as we want, but as much as we need.

The Missionaries of Charity (Mother Teresa’s Order) place all their trust in God. All of their needs are provided, without them ever asking for money.

Obviously, they are different than us the laity. But, I watch as they receive everything they need to serve the poor in their mist. They ask for our personal help, but never money. They live so simple and provide so much to so many, not luxuries, but needs and love.

Sister (I simply call them all by the same name - Sister) once told me they only own three saris, one they are wearing, one on the line drying, and one folded on the shelf. They have their own prayer books. Sister said they move to a different bed every few months. They move to a different placemat and place at the table every few months. Sister said it keeps them from thinking “anything” is their own.

Obviously, we are not called to live like that…but going to the Sisters and thinking how they live, helps me realize how much we do not need.

You and I have to manage our own medical needs. I am always amazed every time Sisters need medical care…it comes to them. There will be a doctor that offers his care, even arranging hospital cost to be covered.

I don’t expect God to do that for me and my family, but it shows me how God provides all the needs for the Sister. He does so through the generosity of others. At times these doctors who “happen” to come in contact with Sister during a medical need, aren’t Catholic. Someone sees Sister has a need and they offer it. Sister in turn is giving her “all” to Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poor, the poorest of the poor.

I share this because it “teaches” me so much. Sisters do not “earn” any money. We do. So, God isn’t going to supply us with all our wants or needs. God gives us want we need. We may not have the best of anything, health or wealth, but we are cared for…when I look at the poor of the other countries where Sister serves the poorest of the poor, I see the wealth and abundance of the typical American.

As to praying by just “being”, I will make that a separate post. I will share with you from the Missionaries of Charity and Lay M.C. Prayer Book.

Quieting ourselves, sitting, listening, listening,…not talking to God…listening. Sometimes we can’t hear God because we are so busy talking to God that we aren’t listening. Quieting my mind is hard for me.

The most peaceful place I find is the simple chapel at Sisters. Quiet and peaceful.
I’m sorry. I misinterpreted your meaning in your last post. I had heard and read that letting one’s mind go blank is a kind of stuff they do in Eastern religions and the New Age movement. And that it can open the mind up to all sorts of demons and other nasty stuff. 🤷
 
I’m sorry. I misinterpreted your meaning in your last post. I had heard and read that letting one’s mind go blank is a kind of stuff they do in Eastern religions and the New Age movement. And that it can open the mind up to all sorts of demons and other nasty stuff. 🤷
That’s a problem I have. If I let my mind “go blank” it fills up very quickly.

I hate mowing the lawn, raking leaves, walking the dog, etc. because when I’m alone like that and have nothing to occupy my mind I start to think. And when I start to think, I start to dwell on things. And when I dwell on things, I get depressed.
 
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