Going up for a blessing

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@heriam

It’s not about reading anyone’s heart. No one here has asserted that there is a judgment on a person’s heart. They have simply been wrongly counseled.
There is a man on our RCIA team who waited for what seemed like an
endless amount of time for his annulment and full reception. He says to the students: look, no one wanted to receive Eucharist MORE than me. No one else sat there nearly in tears as long as I did, no one wanted to go and enjoy the Eucharistic Congress more than me. But waiting was worth it. It made me so incredibly grateful. I knew I should wait until my time. Until Christ looked down at me from the cross and invited me when I was READY.

This is a good thread. Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut. It’s good to hear what others think about things, even those things that are perhaps misinterpreted, or misunderstood.

What Fr David posted stands as the correct answer.
 
Thank you Fr. David. This topic indeed needed the correct clarification. I am so very glad you stayed onboard. God bless.
 
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It depends what country you are talking about. The Catholic Bishops of England and Wales have been encouraging the practice since the 1970s, as they say that Mass and Communion should not be a time of division and hurt.
 
Hey Clare, I hate to tell you this but a priest here (NOT my parish) will say at every wedding and funeral "This is the time for Catholics in good standing with the Church to receive Holy Communion. If you not Catholic nor can Commune now please come up and cross your hands like this over your chest, (with demonstration() and we will give you a special blessing.

I assume some feel differently perhaps about the blessing at wedding/funerals.
 
FrDavid96 said:
There are no blessings at Communion-time in the Mass. Such a thing is merely a misguided innovation that goes against everything Vatican II had to say about the Mass—that it is not something to be altered on personal whims, but that any changes to the Mass must be made through legitimate channels.
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This is what I originally learned, and with which I agree. However and unfortunately, in many parishes (I won’t say “most”) parishes, this is a horse that has not only left the barn and the corral; it is now in the next state.

D
 
I’m in England and have travelled abroad and found that it’s always been welcomed to go up with crossed arms for a blessing.
 
Father,
I was strongly opposed to the practice as well…but our cathedral openly invites non-Catholics or others not able to receive to come up for a blessing if they so desire. They do so after explaining who CAN’T receive. This is also a parish where the faithful always have the option to receive kneeling at the altar rail at all 7 Sunday Masses / 4 daily Masses and where priests come in from the rectory to help distribute at every Mass to minimize EMHCs. So pick your battles?
 
THAT 👆 !!!

But on the other hand, if someone comes up to me with arms crossed, I sure am not going to tell them to go away.
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It is not a binary choice: either give a blessing or say “go away!”

I ask “are you receiving?” because this is the proper way for Eastern Catholics to receive in their own Churches.

If I get a negative reply, my response is something like “the blessing comes later, after Communion.”

Once people realize that they’re not going to get blessings, they stop coming forward for them. It’s relatively simple, most of the time.

On the other hand, giving a blessing only encourages the person to return next week and expect a blessing. What else would expect?
 
I miss Archbishop Chaput. While he was here in the Archdiocese of Denver, he wrote a letter asking us not to go up for a blessing. As you said in your post, the letter said Communion line is not the time for a blessing.
 
asia53 said:
I miss Archbishop Chaput. While he was here in the Archdiocese of Denver, he wrote a letter asking us not to go up for a blessing. As you said in your post, the letter said Communion line is not the time for a blessing.
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I miss him too even though we moved south and out of the Archdiocese before he headed to Philly. That being said, even after his letter we still had plenty of people come up for a blessing. The one time I remember a priest saying anything there was a ton of grumbling after mass about how Father was “denying” people grace. Well no, but I can see why many priest just toss up their hands. 🤷‍♂️
 
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Father, you make excellent points. I’m not in a position to do as you do, but is there any resistance or outcry when you do so? Is it even common where you are located, or is it more recent arrivals or visitors that want to substitute the Eucharist for a blessing?

One of the issues I have with many RCIA instructors is that they tell people that they can cross their arms and receive a blessing in any parish as if it is a liturgical norm rather than an aberration. I know that is how it was presented to when I was in RCIA.
 
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This is one of those “it all depends” on the situation sort of answers. There is no way to predict this sort of thing, like saying that it’s more common on one coast compared to another. It doesn’t even always depend on the current pastor.

At my current parish, it took me quite some time to finally put an end to it. Mostly it came down to who was more stubborn–the person expecting the blessing or the priest. Once they realized that I wasn’t going to do blessings, no matter how much they persisted, it finally ended. I made things very clear that any EMHC attempting such a thing would no longer be eligible to be appointed EMHC in the future (I mean very very clear). By now, most of the children who expected blessings when I arrived have made their First Communion, and for those more recently born, I suppose the parents have just stopped teaching it because they realize it’s futile to attempt it. If they do it when they travel, I wouldn’t know.

Of course, sometimes visitors expect a blessing. If they’re “regular” visitors (maybe they’re in-town every Christmas and Easter), they’ve learned by now. The new visitors sometimes expect it.

I simply do not do it. It really is that simple. I…do…not…do…it.

On very rare occasions, a visitor might persist or appear offended. I simply whisper “see me after Mass.” That almost never happens. If they’re new permanent arrivals, I simply explain to them that there are no blessings at Communion-time in the Mass.

I do think that at this point in time, most of the blame goes to the RCIA people (and by extension, the pastors who should be supervising them). They shouldn’t be teaching people to add things to the Mass which are not in the Roman Missal.
 
Well stated Father. I wish others had your resolve and desire to properly train the people.
 
Please don’t blame the RCIA team. In my parish, we were telling people to stay in the pew, but then the pastor and as a result deacons started telling people to do the crossing arms blessing thing whenever they were teaching the class.

This is one of the true pains of being on the RCIA team. As we switch pastors from time to time, everything flips back and forth.
 
I concur. I’ve been told by a couple of pastors “you worry about the silliest stuff. It does no harm and it welcomes them.” (Not by my current priest though, thank goodness.
Once, when I suggested in the bulletin that people NOT slam the kneelers before the Eucharistic prayer everyone (including the Deacons) in the parish got angry.
What?
The most solemn part of the liturgy and it’s OK to disrupt things with banging and slamming of kneelers?

I just don’t get it.
Everybody knows ALL ABOUT THE MASS, except for when they don’t know about all of the Mass.

Ok, rant over, sorry.
 
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@Pug
What I do, is that I tell them what the Church in her wisdom says on any given matter.
If someone down the road tells them to disregard, I have done my level best to present the truth and exacting teachings or quotations.
That’s all we can do. Present it to the best of our knowledge.
I’m currently fighting this nbattle in regard to “Presider gestures” as opposed to “postures of the laity in Mass”.
The constant “what’s the harm” keeps getting thrown in my face. 🤐
 
My other half usually stays in the pew however I can see how it could be awkward at a very busy service to avoid getting in the way
 
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