Good confession without sorrow?

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plainsongflower

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Could I still make a good confession even though I don’t feel sorrow for a particular mortal sin? I recognize that it was wrong and have every intent to not commit that sin again including a kind of recovery plan like what to do when faced with that temptation etc. but I am still not sorrowful about it. Does that matter? Or is recognizing, taking responsibility and turning away enough? To be honest I feel more sorrow about not feeling sorrow than about the thing itself :confused:

I’m not even in RCIA yet so my first confession looms a fair way in the distance but it bothers me. Especially, like, how long will I have? Because, you know… there’s a lot… And do I really have to say how many times I’ve done a certain thing? because I’ve lost count of some things…
 
Hmmm…Good question. I need to know this one too. I went to confession Saturday and confessed…something. While I am sorry that I offended God and I do fear the pains of hell. I did let the priest know I did this certain sin out of vengeance. I was absolved.

I don’t plan on doing it again, but if a certain person found out I would be like 🤷
 
Do you mean that you do not have an emotional response to your sin? Your faith journey is not and cannot be based on emotions. You can be repentant and not *feel *sorrow. Repentance is necessary for forgiveness, not an emotion.

As for how many times you’ve done something just do your best, something like this: over a period of about five years I had an affair and committed adultery about once a week during that time, when I was a teenager and young adult I was impure with myself daily, I’ve indulged in gluttony often enough to now be a hundred pounds overweight and very unhealthy.
 
I think in confession you can receive forgiveness simply for fearing hell (imperfect contrition) but one of my favorite prayers has this line: “I am sorry that I have offended thee. Do thou increase my sorrow.” I think it’s worth praying for the Lord to increase our sorrow, so that we can have perfect contrition.
 
You don’t necessarily need to feel the emotional sort of sorrow, but you MUST be sorry for what you have done. If I hit you and say, “Sorry” without meaning it or without any sort of remorse, would you really believe I am sorry? Probably not. In confession, we are not just saying sorry to God, we are begging for His forgiveness and help in striving to keep in a state of grace.

If it is a mortal sin that you are struggling with not feeling any sorrow for, I would advise you to spend some time either in a church before the Blessed Sacrament (the Body of Christ) or simply sitting before a crucifix (a cross bearing an image of Christ Crucified) and think about all that He was willing to go through for YOU. The thorns, the nails, the humiliations, all to open the gates of Heaven to mankind; to give us a chance to get there. He knew that humans would still live sinfully, yet He sacrificed Himself for ALL. He knew that you and I would still commit willful sins against Him, yet He bore the Cross with love! Think to yourself: He loved me that much, and what have I done for Him? What am I doing for Him? What am I willing to do for Him?
 
wow thank you all! some food for thought and some great suggestions 🙂 again, thank you!
 
plainsongflower said:
Could I still make a good confession even though I don’t feel sorrow for a particular mortal sin? I recognize that it was wrong and have every intent to not commit that sin again including a kind of recovery plan like what to do when faced with that temptation etc. but I am still not sorrowful about it. Does that matter? Or is recognizing, taking responsibility and turning away enough? To be honest I feel more sorrow about not feeling sorrow than about the thing itself :confused:

I’m not even in RCIA yet so my first confession looms a fair way in the distance but it bothers me. Especially, like, how long will I have? Because, you know… there’s a lot… And do I really have to say how many times I’ve done a certain thing? because I’ve lost count of some things…
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Baltimore Catechism No. 3Q. 753. What is contrition, or sorrow for sin?
A. Contrition, or sorrow for sin, is a hatred of sin and a true grief of the soul for having offended God, with a firm purpose of sinning no more.

Q. 770. What do you mean by a firm purpose of sinning no more?
A. By a firm purpose of sinning no more I mean a fixed resolve not only to avoid all mortal sin, but also its near occasions.

Q. 771. What do you mean by the near occasions of sin?
A. By the near occasions of sin I mean all the persons, places and things that may easily lead us into sin.

Q. 773. Is a person who is determined to avoid the sin, but who is unwilling to give up its near occasion when it is possible to do so, rightly disposed for confession?
A. A person who is determined to avoid the sin, but who is unwilling to give up its near occasion when it is possible to do so, is not rightly disposed for confession, and he will not be absolved if he makes known to the priest the true state of his conscience.
 
I guess my question is if I am convinced I acted rightly in a certain situation but that right action was a mortal sin and so, while not regretting the choice I made, I regret and feel sorrow that I have offended God and am resolutely determined to avoid ever being in that situation again… is that contrition?

Like, if I chose to lie to protect someone. I wouldn’t take back what I did but I would avoid doing it again and I would be sorry that I lied in general.

Do I have to be willing to take back what I did, is my question.

I guess, really, I’m sorry for my sins but not necessarily for the outcome of my sins. But I’m pretty sure you can’t just steal a load of money and then confess it and keep the money, right? So… yeah…

Wow. I feel kind of hard hearted rn.
 
plainsongflower said:
Could I still make a good confession even though I don’t feel sorrow for a particular mortal sin? I recognize that it was wrong and have every intent to not commit that sin again including a kind of recovery plan like what to do when faced with that temptation etc. but I am still not sorrowful about it. Does that matter? Or is recognizing, taking responsibility and turning away enough? To be honest I feel more sorrow about not feeling sorrow than about the thing itself :confused:

I’m not even in RCIA yet so my first confession looms a fair way in the distance but it bothers me. Especially, like, how long will I have? Because, you know… there’s a lot… And do I really have to say how many times I’ve done a certain thing? because I’ve lost count of some things…
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RC teaching.
Two kinds of sorrow are genuine:
Sorrow for hurting God through sin
Or
Fear of ending up in hell or being seperated from God

Either is a validate confession
Sorrow out of pride invalidates a confession
 
OurLadysServant said:
RC teaching.
Two kinds of sorrow are genuine:
Sorrow for hurting God through sin
Or
Fear of ending up in hell or being seperated from God

Either is a validate confession
Sorrow out of pride invalidates a confession
Click to expand...
Oh cool thanks 🙂 um… what do you mean by sorrow out of pride??? I don’t know what that means… Google isn’t helping.
 
plainsongflower said:
I guess my question is if I am convinced I acted rightly in a certain situation but that right action was a mortal sin and so, while not regretting the choice I made, I regret and feel sorrow that I have offended God and am resolutely determined to avoid ever being in that situation again… is that contrition?

Like, if I chose to lie to protect someone. I wouldn’t take back what I did but I would avoid doing it again and I would be sorry that I lied in general.

Do I have to be willing to take back what I did, is my question.

I guess, really, I’m sorry for my sins but not necessarily for the outcome of my sins. But I’m pretty sure you can’t just steal a load of money and then confess it and keep the money, right? So… yeah…

Wow. I feel kind of hard hearted rn.
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Yes thats valid.

However if you were to go back in time would you still commit that sin?
Or, if that situation happened again would you still commit that sin?

Confession must include a resolution to not sin that way again
 
OurLadysServant said:
Yes thats valid.

However if you were to go back in time would you still commit that sin?
Or, if that situation happened again would you still commit that sin?
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I don’t know. My life would look… very very very different if I hadn’t. I mean for one thing I’d probably be dead but you know… so I have no idea. But here and now I have no /desire/ to go back in time and try again. I have every intention of never doing it /again/ though.
 
plainsongflower said:
I guess my question is if I am convinced I acted rightly in a certain situation but that right action was a mortal sin and so, while not regretting the choice I made, I regret and feel sorrow that I have offended God and am resolutely determined to avoid ever being in that situation again… is that contrition?

Like, if I chose to lie to protect someone. I wouldn’t take back what I did but I would avoid doing it again and I would be sorry that I lied in general.

Do I have to be willing to take back what I did, is my question.

I guess, really, I’m sorry for my sins but not necessarily for the outcome of my sins. But I’m pretty sure you can’t just steal a load of money and then confess it and keep the money, right? So… yeah…

Wow. I feel kind of hard hearted rn.
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You say “determined to avoid ever being in that situation again” but that is not sorrow for the action, it is the will to avoid the situation it the future.

Mortal sin is never right, so how can you think you did right? If you think that the action was justified, then how do you figure that you have sinned?

If you lied to protect someone and it was* justified *then it would not be a sin, so there would be nothing to be sorry for.
 
Oh. Well then I guess my problem is I subjectively believe what I did was justified but I don’t know whether that is objectively the case and so I’m trying to repent of something that I don’t actually believe was a sin because I believe it was justified but which, if unjustified, would be a sin. So I’m trying to figure out which it is. Was it a sin or was it a justifiable action? I believe it to have been the second but I don’t want to just rely on what I think. I guess I’ll just have to talk to a priest about it.

Thank you all very much for your help!

(Also, I’m still curious as to what “sorrow out of pride” means?)
 
plainsongflower said:
Oh. Well then I guess my problem is I subjectively believe what I did was justified but I don’t know whether that is objectively the case and so I’m trying to repent of something that I don’t actually believe was a sin because I believe it was justified but which, if unjustified, would be a sin. So I’m trying to figure out which it is. Was it a sin or was it a justifiable action? I believe it to have been the second but I don’t want to just rely on what I think. I guess I’ll just have to talk to a priest about it.

Thank you all very much for your help!

(Also, I’m still curious as to what “sorrow out of pride” means?)
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Me too. What is sorrow out of pride?🤷
 
Someone may have fear and regret that if some of his concealed conduct should be found out, he would be disgraced.

Yet, attrition is sufficient for sacrament confession if there is true repentance.

Attrition: “Imperfect contrition, which is sorrow for sin, based on faith, from motives that are self-interested and not the perfect love of God.” – Modern Catholic Dictionary

Catechism of the Catholic Church1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.52
 
Vico said:
Someone may have fear and regret that if some of his concealed conduct should be found out, he would be disgraced.

Yet, attrition is sufficient for sacrament confession if there is true repentance.

Attrition: “Imperfect contrition, which is sorrow for sin, based on faith, from motives that are self-interested and not the perfect love of God.” – Modern Catholic Dictionary

Catechism of the Catholic Church1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.52
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I still don’t get it. If we are ashamed of what other might think of our sins that’s wrong? I thought that was the whole point of Confession behind a screen. I must be missing something…
 
For now, rather than focus on how you feel (sorrowful or not), focus on what Jesus did for us when he went through what he did leading up to, and including, his crucifixion… Watch “The Passion of The Christ” and focus on the scourging at the pillar… Watch it over and over again until you cannot get that out of your head. Study about why He went through all that pain and suffering… The sorrow will come…

Boswell
 
plainsongflower said:
Could I still make a good confession even though I don’t feel sorrow for a particular mortal sin? I recognize that it was wrong and have every intent to not commit that sin again including a kind of recovery plan like what to do when faced with that temptation etc. but I am still not sorrowful about it. Does that matter? Or is recognizing, taking responsibility and turning away enough? To be honest I feel more sorrow about not feeling sorrow than about the thing itself :confused:

I’m not even in RCIA yet so my first confession looms a fair way in the distance but it bothers me. Especially, like, how long will I have? Because, you know… there’s a lot… And do I really have to say how many times I’ve done a certain thing? because I’ve lost count of some things…
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THAT is sorrow.

It has zero to do with how you feel.
 
plainsongflower said:
I don’t know. My life would look… very very very different if I hadn’t. I mean for one thing I’d probably be dead but you know… so I have no idea. But here and now I have no /desire/ to go back in time and try again. I have every intention of never doing it /again/ though.
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Sorrow out of pride would be, that a person did not care that it hurt God, did not fear hell, did not fear God’s justice, and was confessing it only out of pride that they fell into sin in the first place. Human pride.

Also, if the person wasnt sorry at all, or was still decided in continuing that mortal sin, then the confession is sacreligious (which is a mortal sin needing to be mentioned later), and nothing in that confession is forgiven.

Would you resolve that if you were in that situation again, you would die rather.than sin, and pray.that.God would have given you a different option?

Some self defence is accepted by the.church, murder in war or against an attacker can be self defence and not a sin.

What.exactly was your sin?
 
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