Good Friday Invitation

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My wife and I have been invited to a good friends’ birthday this year, which happens to fall on Good Friday. As a result, we are very torn. We both grew up observing Good Friday as a solemn day, in memory of Christ’s death and sacrifice. And we feel we should continue to do so. We also don’t want to make our friend feel slighted.

The unfortunate thing is that she is a self-identified, but non-practicing Catholic. We haven’t given her our answer yet, so she doesn’t yet know of our concerns, but we’d hope she’d understand.

That said, we’re wondering if perhaps we can make at least an appearance there, as she’s having a potluck dinner. Maybe we can just go for the dinner, but leave afterward, keeping in mind that we must still observe our abstinence and fasting that day.

What do you all think?
 
This is a very serious situation for you, a real conflict…
You want to observe Good Friday but you don’t want to upset your friend - this is difficult.
If I were you, I would have a go and explain to my friend how very important Good Friday is for me and my faith. At the same time I would suggest to visit him/her on another day, perhaps short after Easter.
As I said, this is what I would do… you will have to decide by yourselves, and my solution might not be suitable for someone else - but I would insist on observing Good Friday rather than joining in a birthday party. This might sound heartless but we must obey to God, not to men.
If your friend understands and accepts, it is OK.
If she doesn’t… well, if someone is my good friend he should understand me and not be insulted.
(I hope I have made it clear so far, it is not always easy in a foreign language.)
 
You could simply say something short and sweet like, “normally I would attend, however, we have Church commitments this Good Friday.”

Unless, you think your could use this as a time to evangelize your friend. Otherwise, keep it short and sweet.

God Bless.
 
MrSnaith said:
My wife and I have been invited to a good friends’ birthday this year, which happens to fall on Good Friday. As a result, we are very torn. We both grew up observing Good Friday as a solemn day, in memory of Christ’s death and sacrifice. And we feel we should continue to do so. We also don’t want to make our friend feel slighted.

The unfortunate thing is that she is a self-identified, but non-practicing Catholic. We haven’t given her our answer yet, so she doesn’t yet know of our concerns, but we’d hope she’d understand.

That said, we’re wondering if perhaps we can make at least an appearance there, as she’s having a potluck dinner. Maybe we can just go for the dinner, but leave afterward, keeping in mind that we must still observe our abstinence and fasting that day.

What do you all think?
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I think that sounds just right; drop in, congratulate her and then leave early.
 
I wouldn’t even drop in; Good Friday is not a day for partying. (When my daughter’s birthday fell on Good Friday, her 10th b.d., we celebrated it the day after Easter)

Tell her it is a solemn day for you and you’d love to see her, treat her to dinner, the following week.
 
Thank you, everyone, for your generous advice. After further discussion and research into the observance of Good Friday, taking into account what you have all advised here, this is what we have decided and why:

We are going to do what we previously considered doing, just drop by for a short time to give our gift, congratulate her, join in the meal for a bit, then leave. We will observe our regular Good Friday practices, attending the 3 o’clock service, having quiet time between noon and 3, praying the rosary, watching the Passion of the Christ, etc. So, we will maintain the solemnity of the day, stopping by briefly to acknowledge her birthday celebration.

The reason we’ve decided on this is that we feel it would be the best witness to her and our other friends who will be there, out of our options. Our options are thus: 1) go to her party for the entire evening, disregarding the solemnity of the day, 2) don’t go to the party at all, observing the solemnity of the day, knowing that it would cause injury and/or insult to her (maybe) and our other friends (definitely… it’s a pretty close-knit group). 3) go to her party for a short period of time, explaining that we can’t stay, and why.

We feel 1 would be a bad witness to the Faith because it would seem as though friendships and parties are more important that our religious practice. We also feel 2 would be a bad witness to the Faith because in their eyes we would appear to be the righteous snobs who care more about ritual observance than human interaction. They already know a Catholic couple like that and think lower of Catholocism for it. We feel that 3 would be the best witness to our Faith, as it would show our dedication to our religion, and its importance to us, without being too high to drop by and congratulate our friend on her birthday. It would also give us the opportunity to explain to everyone there why we can’t stay, which we feel would be a good evangelistic opportunity.

The only rule we could find that might bar us from going is that the Church has officially defined the day as a Solemn one, and not a day of celebration. That said, we don’t feel that making a quick visit will break our solemn observance of the day.
 
That seems to be an acceptable compromise.
You have made a thoughtful choice.
God bless you!
 
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