Good Friday vision

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curious_cath

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I have this vision of Good Friday. I am at the cross. looking at the suffering face of Jesus crucified. His hands, nailed to cross, are grabbing the empty air in pain. I am praying: “Oh Lord, what my sins did to you! How I regret my whole sinful life that made you suffer this much. Please, don’t chase me away, though, from your cross. Allow me, I beg you, to be with you in your suffering. Lord, let me be with you now, as you’ll be with me at the hour of my suffering.”

Tears are flowing freely from my eyes on my face. I look at Him, my Savior, who is lifted up. At that moment, oh my, He is opening up His eyes! He is looking into my teary eyes, opening wide His arms… I don’t know how would He do this, as his arms are bound to the wood of the cross. I feel I am being lifted slowly, higher and higher. The next moment I am on the cross with Him! He lifted me up to Himself. Oh, Holy Lord, I am on the cross with Jesus! I feel His pain in my palms, in my aching body, in my bleeding heart. My God, have mercy on me! How is this possible, as He is the one who is crucified and not me?!


What is this vision all about? Is it possible that I am going to be ill, perhaps I am to die this year? Or my Lord just wanted me to be with Him at His abandonment on the cross? Oh, Blessed Heart of Jesus, how much I long for you!
 
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Thank you for saying that. I surely have some things to discern now.
 
It is already Good Friday in my place. I was contemplating what would this day bring to me. Of course, my first thought was fasting. I should not eat much today. The refrigerator is full of stuff now. But it will wait until the resurrection of the Lord. Well, I am not used to fasting. I have some health conditions that limit my fasting zeal. I questioned in my mind why would I do fasting today. For my religion? For the Catholic Church? For my faith? For the Lord? Of course, for all these!

Then I thought of the glorious cross. We symbolize our faith by a bloody person on a cruel execution tool. What kind of crazy advertisement is this for a religion?! Are all mad who believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus?

The train of my thoughts led me to the person hanging on the cross. Why? Why did He allow this to happen? Why did He take my suffering on himself? I felt pity for this person who meddled with my conscience trying to save me, to clean up the mess in my heart and soul. It is truly like cleaning Augeas’ stable, a futile and hopeless endeavor! I wanted to tell this person not to do this for me. I don’t deserve His effort. But He was already there, hanging on the cross! So I wanted to ease His pain. My meditation on the meaning of Good Friday somehow took its own course from a simple puzzlement over fasting to contemplating on my own worthlessness of Jesus.

Then all I could do was praying and there came the vision! I don’t know why my tears came out to flow on my face. This is not the first Good Friday in my life! I have participated in countless Easter Vigils when we go from deep sorrow to exuberant joy. I am not a novice in my faith journey. But this experience and this vision was unique! I am puzzled as ever. Is this good? Or something to fear from?
 
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On fasting, we are allowed to eat as dictated by the Bishops. We don’t need to not eat at all until Easter Sunday.

We all react and think of Jesus crucified in different ways. Year by year we might gain further understanding through the grace of the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit gifts us wisdom and understanding. This is nothing to fear.

It’s such a blessing to have insights as to Jesus dying on the Cross for our sins. For us.
Are you in Aus or NZ cath?
 
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Praying for you! Thank you for sharing with us your vision. You must have a vocation, can you pray for me?
 
Thank you, dear Roseeurekacross! My fear is that my life will take a different course now. How to respond to a vision like that? Shall I need to abandon my life I am living now and go on a pilgrimage or mission? Well, I just keep praying that this would not be so hard on me. I try to discern all things that have happened in my life that led to to this vision. What I know is that my Lord won’t leave me now.

Yes, I am not living in NZ but the time zone is right.
 
You must unite your sufferings with the Cross of Christ.
Your vocation is to pray for others especially those who are suffering while contemplating on the cross.

“Those who share in Christ’s sufferings have before their eyes the Paschal Mystery of the Cross and Resurrection, in which Christ descends, in a first phase, to the ultimate limits of human weakness and impotence: indeed, he dies nailed to the Cross. But if at the same time in this weakness there is accomplished his lifting up, confirmed by the power of the Resurrection, then this means that the weaknesses of all human sufferings are capable of being infused with the same power of God manifested in Christ’s Cross.”
  • St. John Paul II
And please read: Uniting Your Suffering to Christ’s Passion
 
Oh, absolutely! I don’t feel any special calling right now, but I somehow feel an opening to a new direction in my life. I’ll surely pray for you and for all those here.
 
bsy said:
You must unite your sufferings with the Cross of Christ.

Your vocation is to pray for others especially those who are suffering while contemplating on the cross.
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Oh, thank you, dear bsy! I am reading with great joy these beautiful words of St John Paul II that I did not know about before. Yes, I feel extremely weak, but somehow open at the same time to what is waiting for me.
bsy said:
this means that the weaknesses of all human sufferings are capable of being infused with the same power of God manifested in Christ’s Cross.
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What does this exactly mean? While I keep praying I feel that weakness that I haven’t had before. Prayer used to give me strength. But now, I just feel I am unworthy of the pains of the Lord.

I am going to the Station of the Cross in my church now. I feel like it is going to be my own journey to Golgotha with Him!
 
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Talk to a priest, @curious_cath. He can help you figure this out better than us on the Internet. Spiritual direction would probably be wise here. It is good to have a wise companion on one’s spiritual journey.
 
bsy said:
And please read: Uniting Your Suffering to Christ’s Passion
Click to expand...
I did. Wow. I love this: “My captivity lasted thirty-seven days. Then, in the midst of a heavenly light I saw Mary holding her Divine Son in her arms. ‘My daughter,’ she said to me, ‘three days more of prison and after forty days you shall leave this state of pain.’ Such happy news renewed my courage to prepare for the frightful combat awaiting." – St. Philomena

I understand this. It is 3 more days till Easter! I am ready for captivity to pain of weakness and suffering. Let it last as long as needed. In the combat I won’t be alone. Then I’ll be free. St. Philomena, pray for me!
 
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Respond by being the best Catholic you can be. If your life is to change tack, it will.

What were you thinking of as a pilgrimage,
. Remember we are all pilgrims on earth.
 
bsy said:
There’s a beautiful article on Suffering by Fr. Paul O’Sullivan, O.P. that sums up everything. Hope it helps :))
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Thank you for the link. I feel like I am opening up for pain. I had some painful periods in my life, both physical and mental suffering, aching and grieving. But those somehow were private, my own things in my own life. This opening to suffering I feel now is not private, rather intimately tied to the Lord. It is not a crushing physical pain though, more like a heavy-laden mental anguish about my unworthiness of the great sacrifice I see in front of my eyes from Jesus on the cross. This anguish becomes so intense that I physically share in His pain.

I wonder if this is the same thing everyone experiences on Good Friday when the bare fact of the brutal death of the Lord sinks in. I am sure I have never felt this so intensely as now.

We just sang the spiritual “Were you there when they crucified my Lord” at the end of the Good Friday service in my church. Gosh, again, my tears came out that has never happened to me before. You know, it is not the same as just singing the line “tremble, tremble, tremble” and actually trembling in anguish.

 
Thank you. I know a church group who will have a pilgrimage to Rome this May. Over 100 thousands (yes!) people are expected to flock to the St. Peter’s Square from at least 50 different countries. Pope Francis will address the crowd and celebrate a mass. I have not been interested in these kind of things before. Now, I am contemplating it!
 
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Are you in the youth age? It’s year of the youth and I think everyone is meeting in Panama.

18-35 yo. Your Diocese should be arranging a pilgrimage.
 
The Stations of the Cross today before the mass spoke to me in an extremely intense way. I am talking about the booklet we had for responses while walking the stations. I discovered new meaning in the words that I must have skipped at all the Stations I had before. These stations caused me to continue my contemplation! I’ll continue as long as it takes until I can grasp their meaning more fully:

Station 5: Simon help Jesus
Response of universal love: “Each time I feed the hungry,clothe the naked teach the ignorant or lend my hand in any way – it matters not to whom – my name is Simon.”

Station 11: Jesus is crucified
Response of universal suffering: “I accept for all my life whatever sickness, torment or agony may come. To every cross I touch my lips. O blessed cross that lets me be – with you – a co-redeemer of humanity!”

Station 14: Jesus is buried
Response of universal duty: “The teaching you could not impart, the suffering you could not bear, the works of love you could not do in your short life on earth, let me impart and bear and do.”

I could not find this exact version on the Internet we prayed today in the church, so let me refer to similar resources:


http://lordcalls.com/dailyprayer/the-way-of-the-cross-the-stations-of-the-cross
 
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