You know what’s funny is I asked the same question a little bit ago. I think the thing is I am looking for a massive force of power! We look for the big signs in this day and age and yet God moves super subtly and quietly. I’ll try to dig up a verse but basically there’s this super cool prophet and he’s trying to find God and there’s a massive earthquake and a fire and a tornado and then a subtle breeze and that’s where he finds God. I think he’s very subtle and sometimes pushes us by pulling back to help us build belief.
Every single time God will forgive you in the Sacrament of Reconcilliation.
God will help you. It just takes time and to discipline ourselves to focus on prayer, instead of distractions like intrusive thoughts. Keep asking God.
The literal only sin is if at the moment of death you decide you are beyond saving. Besides that he has forgives murderers, prostitutes, liars, thieves, adulterers, torturers, he will forgive anyone who wants forgiveness. That’s what’s incredible! So rest easy knowing that you really can’t do anything so bad he won’t forgive it. Even the final moments of life he offers graces and there are last rites to help you remember his mercy. Have faith and trust! He’s not the God of damnation but rather salvation! He wants you to be forgiven. It’s a gift we don’t deserve yet he freely gives. In fact this being that is pure being outside the constructs of humanity cared so much he lessened himself to our dog like level and let himself be killed brutally to show us how dedicated he is to providing us with mercy !
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