Good news?

[montanaman]

Elizastaci:

Kudos to you, montanaman, for several things:

Firstly, for properly courting this young woman, instead of the hooking up & shacking up that is the norm for “dating” these days. That gets things off to a very good start- courting, I mean, because you are respecting both her and yourself as children of God. And that is way cool.

Also, for telling her not to convert just to please you. That is a truly selfless attitude, and one that really shows your deep devotion to this very lucky woman.

Her family sounds controlling, predjudiced, and- not to be overly dramatic- on the slightly pyschotic side. I really feel for her, because I know how hard it is when your family doesn’t support your choices.

But it sounds like you two really love each other. And that, dear sir, is what counts. You’re involving God in your courtship in a deep way- what better promise of future happiness could there be? The rest is just whatever.

So all happiness in the future. I’ll be praying for you.

Thanks much. To be fair, while her family HAS exhibited psychotic tendencies, they DID manage to raise seven–count 'em, seven–God-fearing kids. Some of them are homeschool geniuses. The ten-year old knows French and Italian. Me? I barely know English.

 

[montanaman]

Do you know any couples who are both Catholic and have a strong marriage? Sharing my Catholic faith with my husband is one of the pillars of our marriage and has been critical in weathering the inevitable crises of life.

La Chiarra,

I’ve come to realize that my previous ideas about marriage will need adjusting. At first, I thought I could deal with a wife who was pro-life, anti-birth control and Christian as long as the kids were raised Catholic. Now, I know that I’d have to share the faith with my wife for me to be completely happy. I think Grace knows this, but I’ll have to make myself clear. Ever since Grace has been showing signs of interest in conversion, I realized that there was something huge missing in our relationship.

Anyway, thanks for the advice and concern.

 

[MamaGeek]

montanaman:

Please–keep talking. I’m sorry if I will inflate your pride, but for some reason, you’re really speaking to me right now. Maybe you’re telling me things I really wanted to hear…

Do I love her? Yes, I do. Do I have that fluttery-heart feeling all the time? Not often, though there have been moments and they DO arise from time to time. It’s mainly other things–things I haven’t practiced much in my life, sadly–that made me realize I love her. The way I regard her, the way I think of her happiness first, etc. Sometimes–and this is why I’m praying–I wonder about our differences. The Catholic/Protestant thing is huge, but that might be changing. I like walking to town to listen to a certain kind of music she hates. She wants to live in a penthouse, I want a cabin. (We compromised–beach house). I’m messy, she’s neat. I could go on, but you could sum it up nicely like this: Me, country. Her, city.

I have no doubt I love her, but where I used to think I knew what real love was, now I’m clueless. If THIS isn’t it, then I’m not capable of it.

Well, one possible solution to the country/city problem is a dwelling in the suburbs within short driving distance of either one. Beach houses are expensive, and not very practical, if you intend to get to work in a reasonable amount of time.

Seriously, though, these kinds of differences can be reconciled. My husband and I are opposite in many ways. In fact, during our marriage prep, we took a Meyers Briggs personality test and came out exact opposites. I like to say that we compliment each other. So, she doesn’t like your music. I’m sure she is happy for you that you enjoy it, and I’m sure there are many other things that you can share. Just wait until you have kids! LOL!

 

[montanaman]

MamaGeek:

Well, one possible solution to the country/city problem is a dwelling in the suburbs within short driving distance of either one. Beach houses are expensive, and not very practical, if you intend to get to work in a reasonable amount of time.

Seriously, though, these kinds of differences can be reconciled. My husband and I are opposite in many ways. In fact, during our marriage prep, we took a Meyers Briggs personality test and came out exact opposites. I like to say that we compliment each other. So, she doesn’t like your music. I’m sure she is happy for you that you enjoy it, and I’m sure there are many other things that you can share. Just wait until you have kids! LOL!

Grace says we compliment each other, too. But sometimes I wonder. It’s actually hilarious at times because she grew up in the fundamentalist, teetotaling household of her dad. No secular music, no t.v., and all homeschooled. I, on the other hand grew up with little formal Catholic education, and even so, we know about Catholic boys, right? I had cussing, fornicating friends, and I was no angel myself. The worst trouble I ever got into was for skateboarding on the roof of a local elementary school and sneaking out at night, but still…

She occasionally says things like “You talkin’ slap?” It’s not that she’s trying to be cool, it’s just that some things are incorporated into her speech that get mangled in irretrievably uncool ways. Her double entendres, always unintentional, sometimes leave me splitting at the sides and trying to conceal it. I had to explain a couple of them, though, and now she’s mortified that everything has a double meaning. It’s been quite a ride. I feel like Danny Zuko and she seems like Sandy sometimes…