Goodbye

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sakay

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I haven’t been here long, more searching then being involved. Trying I guess to find a place to belong, while also struggling to reach out to God and make Him a part of my life that has been missing for a long time.
For over a year I have been spending time every morning to pray the rosary and read the bible. It has always been a struggle, not sure if God was listening, was present or anything since I never seem to feel His presence. Then I would try to attend the Mass everyday, when possible. Still, I felt out of place, still unclear if my attempts to come closer to God was what he wanted. I ask for no miracle, just maybe a little peace in my life, a sense of acceptence. I don’t know.
This morning when I went to my private place to be with God, I asked Him if this time I give to him was acceptible to Him, because I didn’t feel any closer then when I started, then I listened.
My husband, who was at the computer, knowing I spent the time in morning praying, decided he wanted to watch a news video, this meant turning up the sound. Mind you he usually is pretty quiet for me. Well I couldn’t consentrate, became frustrated and discouraged. So I walked away. Was that God’s answer me, I don’t know. But I sure feel that it was made clear I was not getting any closer and the struggle is getting harder every day.
Since we have other plans, thought I would watch the Mass on TV this morning. Keep trying I guess, but another dissapointment. Without being rude, the priest this morning is one I have a hard time listening to. Not his fault, I just don’t think he is a good speaker. Long story short, too upset and frustrated to give it a try. So I do what I always do, work. A way to get rid of my frustrations. Right or wrong I feel that the message is clear, the time is not right for me.
God Bless you all.
 
Please dont feel discouraged
Stay around.
I have my times like that. Many of us do.

Can I send you a hug?

With love, Trishie
 
**The not-feeling-God-present thing. I’m trying to engage you to encourage you not to slip away from us. And all I can think of this minute is to post you a prayer I wrote one time when seeking God’s presence. **

In the presence of God
God, I cannot see, hear, or feel You, but I am in Your presence. I gaze at You with faith that sees nothing yet believes. Trust in Your merciful love with hope in Your reality, brings peace even when my limitations and sinfulness barb my human heart.

I am inconstant and selfish, yet unafraid and hopeful, for You rejoice in the sincere, contrite person who comes trustingly before You. I welcome Your forgiveness for my sins and omissions, confident that You will glorify Yourself in me—by being my thoughts, my efforts, my love, my truth, my wisdom, my whole life, prayer, and existence!

As I have no merit of my own, so may You, the more, glorify Yourself in me! Please flood me with Your love, transforming me into Your substance. Thus, even if I remain in seemingly unconverted darkness, I shall be continual offering to You of the perfection of Your own all-creating, all-knowing, all-loving, all-good, harmonious, Love that created me.

Let Your love continually flow into anyone whose life touches mine, so that I am witness and experience of Your love for him or her. I pray, and trust, that You utter within me for others, all prayer that You desire to offer and grant in the love that issues from Your infinite presence.

Thank You God, for although I do not see, hear, or feel You, our God, I know that by Your life in me I am always with You.

“Do not grieve…that you were born in a time when you can no longer see God in the flesh. That privilege was not taken from you. As Jesus says, ‘Whatever you have done for the least of my little ones, you have done for me.’” Saint Augustine.
 
Nope, not from God, saying Goodbye to him … nope, don’t think so.

The devil maybe 😉

The last eight years I have had many distractions … they are called kids 😃

Keep praying.

Read the section on prayer in the Catechism. We pray as we live, because we live as we pray CCC 2725 Wow … isn’t that true!

Oh, and wanted to add … I do little things like this … when I change a diaper, I pray for the unborn and those who have suffered from abortion. When I start loading this dish washer with dirty dishes, I pray, Lord Jesus, I trust in you (kind of fitting since I trust in him to cleanse me) When I get in my vehicle for the first time, I say a Hail Mary. While I’m waiting to pick up the kids from school, around 2:50 pm, I say a Chaplet of Divine Mercy … I am praying as I live. There is an awesome thing that we Catholics can do as well, Offer It Up … for instance *Sorry God, my husband just distracted me from my whole conversation with you, I’m frustrated, but I offer this up for people who will never say a word to you, I shall return" :D:D
 
DJgang
That’s wonderful.
I’m sure God is delighted with your prayer life which is so integrated with your daily life and ordinary responsibilities
 
sakay said:
I haven’t been here long, more searching then being involved. Trying I guess to find a place to belong, while also struggling to reach out to God and make Him a part of my life that has been missing for a long time.
For over a year I have been spending time every morning to pray the rosary and read the bible. It has always been a struggle, not sure if God was listening, was present or anything since I never seem to feel His presence. Then I would try to attend the Mass everyday, when possible. Still, I felt out of place, still unclear if my attempts to come closer to God was what he wanted. I ask for no miracle, just maybe a little peace in my life, a sense of acceptence. I don’t know.
This morning when I went to my private place to be with God, I asked Him if this time I give to him was acceptible to Him, because I didn’t feel any closer then when I started, then I listened.
My husband, who was at the computer, knowing I spent the time in morning praying, decided he wanted to watch a news video, this meant turning up the sound. Mind you he usually is pretty quiet for me. Well I couldn’t consentrate, became frustrated and discouraged. So I walked away. Was that God’s answer me, I don’t know. But I sure feel that it was made clear I was not getting any closer and the struggle is getting harder every day.
Since we have other plans, thought I would watch the Mass on TV this morning. Keep trying I guess, but another dissapointment. Without being rude, the priest this morning is one I have a hard time listening to. Not his fault, I just don’t think he is a good speaker. Long story short, too upset and frustrated to give it a try. So I do what I always do, work. A way to get rid of my frustrations. Right or wrong I feel that the message is clear, the time is not right for me.
God Bless you all.
Click to expand...
My dear friend

Are you a bit depressed? If so, please see your doctor.
If God seems absent then he is testing you. It’s a very great prize he offers and you must be willing to sacrifice anything to get it. If you don’t feel good in prayer or experience God in anyway that is no reason to give up. If you persevere God will reward you when you pass the test. Guaranteed. Hang in there.

You only exist because God is thinking about you, you know? You are just a thought in the mind of God, but how can he not know everything about you if he is keeping you in existence.

Persevere and you will see and experience Gods intense love for you. It’s already there but you can’t see it now. If your baptised you are his child and he’s insanely in love with you. Perhaps he is waiting for a more wholehearted approach from you? Are you getting to confession and mass as you should? Don’t mess around. Just go headlong into it. That’s what God likes to see. Just love him expecting nothing in return and he will surprise you by repaying your efforts 100 fold.

Give it a go. The only way you will ever be happy is if you have a relationship with God, and the deeper the relationship the happier you’ll be.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I’ll pray for you too:thumbsup:🙂
 
Trishie said:
DJgang
That’s wonderful.
I’m sure God is delighted with your prayer life which is so integrated with your daily life and ordinary responsibilities
Click to expand...
Wise words from my Sponsor and it works!!!
 
It’s easy to get discouraged if you have expectations. God will never live up to our expectations – because our expectations are so often misdirected, not because he is unloving or apathetic.

God desires the salvation of all men and women. Knowing this, shouldn’t we desire our own salvation? *My *salvation affects me: how can I wish the hot, burning coals of damnation upon my own head? Why wouldn’t I desire salvation?

If you are searching for belonging in a community, then why not search for belonging among the communion of saints? Why not befriend the three persons of the holy Trinity? I and so many other people who walk this Earth with only disappoint you, even our bestest of friends.
 
Oh my friend…take heart! This is something we all go through at one time or another. I’ve recently had a similar experience, and while the temptation to give up and find my fulfillment elsewhere is present, the words of the Gospel come quickly to mind…“Lord, to whom should we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

It may seem empty now, but the closeness you seek has nothing to do with your feelings and senses. The spirit goes deeper than any emotional experience, and God DOES hear you!

I will keep you in prayer.

–kristie
 
A couple of things came to mind in reading your post. (And it is not my intention to criticize, please don’t take it that way.)
  1. Remember that any time we seek to draw near to God there will be those unseen powers that will intervene to inhibit us.
  2. All of us are only human and we have those days when we fail in our spiritual life. Sometimes it’s sin, other times it is just a desert kind of experience where we are less than enthusiastic about our spiritual life.
In both cases recognizing that as the problem is a big part of the answer.

There have been those times when I have stood before God and simply said, “Here I am and I am a mess. Please come to me and help me.”

I don’t walk away from that with a happy happy joy joy feeling, but it seems that that honesty and openness always makes a difference in the stability of my life, and I like that.

Trust me my dear friend. The Lord will meet you right where you are. It’s the same thing that He did in the Gospels.

Know that you are in my prayers and Mass intentions.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.
 
22 And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and cried, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely possessed by a demon.” 23 But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying after us.” 24* He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25* But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” 26 And he answered, "It is not fair to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs." 27 She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” 28* Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.

Matthew 15:22-28

Notice how Christ ignored her upon her calling to Him the first time. Notice how she did not give up. Also notice how he rejected her again by saying “It is not fair to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs” and notice how she did not give up.

Notice how God gave her what she asked for because she persevered and had faith.

Don’t give up 🙂
 
sakay said:
I haven’t been here long, more searching then being involved. Trying I guess to find a place to belong, while also struggling to reach out to God and make Him a part of my life that has been missing for a long time.
For over a year I have been spending time every morning to pray the rosary and read the bible. It has always been a struggle, not sure if God was listening, was present or anything since I never seem to feel His presence. Then I would try to attend the Mass everyday, when possible. Still, I felt out of place, still unclear if my attempts to come closer to God was what he wanted. I ask for no miracle, just maybe a little peace in my life, a sense of acceptence. I don’t know.
This morning when I went to my private place to be with God, I asked Him if this time I give to him was acceptible to Him, because I didn’t feel any closer then when I started, then I listened.
My husband, who was at the computer, knowing I spent the time in morning praying, decided he wanted to watch a news video, this meant turning up the sound. Mind you he usually is pretty quiet for me. Well I couldn’t consentrate, became frustrated and discouraged. So I walked away. Was that God’s answer me, I don’t know. But I sure feel that it was made clear I was not getting any closer and the struggle is getting harder every day.
Since we have other plans, thought I would watch the Mass on TV this morning. Keep trying I guess, but another dissapointment. Without being rude, the priest this morning is one I have a hard time listening to. Not his fault, I just don’t think he is a good speaker. Long story short, too upset and frustrated to give it a try. So I do what I always do, work. A way to get rid of my frustrations. Right or wrong I feel that the message is clear, the time is not right for me.
God Bless you all.
Click to expand...
I can hear a little of Teresa of Avila here. She spent many years looking for God. She was faithful in her search and eventually found him.

However, one need know where to look. CAF is definitely not the place. There are too many conflicts and too much negativity. God is to be found in silence, prayer, penance and works of charity, not in the midst of criticism, conflict, insult, and complaints.

This may not be a good place for one who is seeking. It is a better place for one who is comfortable with his or her faith and it not easily rattled by what he or she finds here, wich is often very far from the peaceful love that God offers us through silence and charity.

I would take a vacation from CAF and dedicate more time to prayer, scriptures, sacraments, family and some charitable work. If you can engage in some charitable work with other Catholics, instead of alone, that’s even better. The fraternal support is important.

You are in my prayers,

Fraternally,

JR 🙂
 
sakay said:
I haven’t been here long, more searching then being involved. Trying I guess to find a place to belong, while also struggling to reach out to God and make Him a part of my life that has been missing for a long time.
For over a year I have been spending time every morning to pray the rosary and read the bible. It has always been a struggle, not sure if God was listening, was present or anything since I never seem to feel His presence. Then I would try to attend the Mass everyday, when possible. Still, I felt out of place, still unclear if my attempts to come closer to God was what he wanted. I ask for no miracle, just maybe a little peace in my life, a sense of acceptence. I don’t know.
This morning when I went to my private place to be with God, I asked Him if this time I give to him was acceptible to Him, because I didn’t feel any closer then when I started, then I listened.
My husband, who was at the computer, knowing I spent the time in morning praying, decided he wanted to watch a news video, this meant turning up the sound. Mind you he usually is pretty quiet for me. Well I couldn’t consentrate, became frustrated and discouraged. So I walked away. Was that God’s answer me, I don’t know. But I sure feel that it was made clear I was not getting any closer and the struggle is getting harder every day.
Since we have other plans, thought I would watch the Mass on TV this morning. Keep trying I guess, but another dissapointment. Without being rude, the priest this morning is one I have a hard time listening to. Not his fault, I just don’t think he is a good speaker. Long story short, too upset and frustrated to give it a try. So I do what I always do, work. A way to get rid of my frustrations. Right or wrong I feel that the message is clear, the time is not right for me.
God Bless you all.
Click to expand...
I haven’t read all the posts but I can say I (and many others) struggle with this regularly. Do try to stay with it.
I am currently reading a book that you may find helpful. It is a big book but don’t let it scare you because it is VERY readable.
It is called “The fulfillment of All Desire” by Ralph Martin. It’s available at Amazon.
The subtitle is “A guidebook for the journey to God based on the wisdom of the saints”.
I believe after you read of some of the saints struggles and get their advise you may feel renewed in spirit. I know I do.

Be patient with yourself.

Peace
James
 
It is people like you that inspire people like me.
Honestly and truly.
I remember talking to my sister-in-law, she goes to one of those churches where people speak in tongues all the time, and she’s SO frustrated because it NEVER happens to her. Not once. Everyone else ‘gets the ghost’ except for her.
Yet she goes to church.
And she prays.
And she reads her Bible.
And she lives a devoutly christian life.
I tell her she should consider herself fortunate that she is able to show God how much she loves Him. Think about it - all those other people, they go to church because they ‘feel’ something. They get some charge, some kick, some renewal, SOMETHING. Which means those people aren’t able to show the depth of their love for Christ. I mean, it’s easy to love God when he’s giving you feedback, not so much so when He seems silent. It’s those times though, that YOU are best able to show the Lord how much you love Him.

So, I encourage you to keep up with your devotions, for whatever my bit of advice is worth.
If sticking around here doesn’t help you 🤷 I’d like to see you stay, but it’s your prayers that are really important.
God bless, and I hope you continue to show the Lord how much you love Him. I’m sure He’s pleased.
 
Please continue your faith journey and hang in there. I hope I can help change your perspective on this, so here it goes…My battle cry used to be “I don’t get anything from Church.”, "There’s nothing “stimulating” that I am receiving from God., “Not nenough Praise and Worship within the Liturgy”. Darn it, I just wanted to “hear” Him and to receive something - anything - from Him. Maybe, I wasn’t worthy enough to be “loved”.

However, we all have heard that true love is not based in “feeling”, right? Well, one day, by God’s grace, my heart changed .All of a sudden, I was no longer worried about what God could do for me, but what I could do for God. Wow…then my outlook changed drastically. I became more consummed with trying to show my love for Him than my own personal search for love. That’s when I started to attend daily mass and began to work on my conversion as a cradle Catholic.

In one of my books, St. Francis de Sales wrote that many people don’t seek God alone for what He is, but seek out His consolations and the “warm fuzzies” associated with Him. This is a result of our own self-love and our concern for our own desires. What is actually happening ,then, is our desires and search for those “feelings” become our goal instead of Him. They become attachments and we are left unable to love our God with ALL of our soul, ALL of our stength, and ALL of our might. Thus, blessed are they who do not receive consolations from their prayers and actions, because God knows they are readily experiencing “suffering” for love of Him. (Blessed are they who do not see, but still believe!) That suffering is part of the cross and it is the cross that allows us to unite with Christ and share with Him. Through that sharing, we then show love for Him.

Think about it…Those who are granted consolations are actually left in a state of debt toward God by being granted such favors.(St. Francis?) You, however, have gained such merit in His eyes because you are doing more in your attempt to reach for Him. He will eventually reward according to His time.

He truly loves you and His Sacred Heart would break if you were to leave His side and not share in His suffering. How many times do we do this in the course of our day where we choose what is easy and, thus, leave Christ’s side to allow him to suffer all alone. However, if deep, undistractive prayer is too much during this dry time, just your simple, loving gaze of acknowlegment of Him will do for the time being.(St. Therese of Lisieux)

I agree that you may need a break from the forum and I also think depression should be ruled out (I am a nurse). However, add some spirtual reading on the lives of the saints somewhere in there and talk with your priest. (The saints talk so much of what you are experiencing.) Also, I highly recommend some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I credit this to my change of heart. Lastly, keep talking to Him and know that you provide Him great joy.

May God bless you and keep you in close to His Sacred Heart,
stteresasgirl
 
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