Gossip....did you know....?

[whatevergirl]

…that true gossip is when we talk about another person in a negative way–in his/her absence–and using the person’s name in doing so?

I asked this question during my confession this weekend. I said…if a coworker is upset about a fellow coworker’s behavior, and shares that disdain with me, is it gossip? The priest said, if he/she said a name…then, yes, you are speaking negatively about someone, using his/her name, and he/she is not there to defend him/herself. He said…instances like, ‘can you believe so and so did this or that?’ (that is gossip) "Did you hear what so and so did the other day?’ (this is gossip)

Non gossip would be…‘I really dislike when people do unethical things…(and turning to a coworker) you ask for his/her advice.’ (without naming the person)

I was happy that I asked this question. I didn’t realize the ‘tiers’ of gossip. I’m not really a gossiper, but the priest suggested that when faced with someone gossiping about another–to change the subject or outright say…we shouldn’t be speaking about this person in his/her absence. I really like this priest, and am grateful we found this parish.

 

[cheddarsox]

Maybe it doesn’t have to be negative. I read some saints and they felt pain when someone somewhere spoke WELL of them, they would go and beg the people to stop.

 

[mercygate]

I’m a great believer in gossip!

When I hear something good about somebody, I’ll pass it on – especially if I know someone isn’t so keen on that person. I have a co-worker whom a lot of people kind of dislike because of his somewhat odd personality. But he’s a very good worker. The his boss, who is being harassed his own boss, said he knew he could “count on me” and I responded, “Yes, and you can count on XXXXX, too: did you see what a great job he did on the YYYYY project?”

I also use the gossip chain to make points I don’t want to put in writing.

Then there is always the “Wow! my boss is dynamite! I love working for her!” That’s one that can get around both to the boss’ credit and to one’s own . . .

But never talk about anybody’s failures or troubles (Did you hear that Dr. Jones’ big grant application got a priority ranking of 80? I heard Sue and Bob Murgatroyd are getting divorced!).

 

[eponymic]

…that true gossip is when we talk about another person in a negative way–in his/her absence–and using the person’s name in doing so?
…]
The priest said, if he/she said a name…then, yes, you are speaking negatively about someone, using his/her name, and he/she is not there to defend him/herself.
…]
Non gossip would be…‘I really dislike when people do unethical things…(and turning to a coworker) you ask for his/her advice.’ (without naming the person)

This has all the markings of a loophole too. So, if you talk about certain behavior you don’t like, and you use an example that the coworker will identify, but you don’t mention their name specifically, it’s not gossip?

Gossip, by strict definition, is really any idle, meaningless chatter. It becomes a moral problem when the gossip is used to spread false rumors, innuendo, embarrass/humiliate, or to publicize the details of somebody’s private life. It doesn’t matter if you’re saying the person’s name or not. If you shouldn’t be saying it, you shouldn’t be saying it.

 

[kim3260]

An example of a refernce:
Let’s just say.Jane and Joe are friendly at work, but you have no proof of an affair, would you make a reference about “certain people being so close”? in THEIR ear shot, not likely, but the same people would never say that in front of them would later laugh about the " cozy twosome" (not nameing names) in the breakroom.
But I do agree that complimenting a hardworking person co-worker who is often overlooked is actually an act of kindness , certainly not gossip.

 

[dalesmom]

whatevergirl…

sure am glad to hear you found a parish you like. hope you are starting to like your new town.