Gossip

  • Thread starter Thread starter Kathrin
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

Kathrin

Guest
What if you don’t really want to talk about the other person but let somebody know what YOU experienced?

Was it gossip that I told my Mom that a street musician I know that I had a fun time with may have been drinking a little? I meant it in a positive way. I wanted to tell her about a good experience I had. Just because drinking may be seen as something negative by somebody (I doubt he would mind I said it) does it make it gossip?

Kathrin
 
It doesn’t seem like gossip to me? I dunno… I tell my mom basically everything LOL!
 
Man, hey, good old me, being scrupulous again, yikes; unfortunately I can’t delete the post anymore now.
Of course, gossip is not to be taken lightly.
But then, overanalyzing every little thing I say like that, trying to make myself feel guilty… that obviously comes from my scrupulous part.
Oh well.
Sorry.😊
 
Doesn’t seem like gossip

I bet Jesus said “mom there’s a friend I’m bringing and she’s a prostitute but she’s a great person”. Not in exact words but the Virgin Mary had to been told about her past and accepted Mary Magdelene.
 
I would define gossip as discussion about a person in that person’s absence, generally negative in tone, involving a subject that does not concern the speaker or the listener, usually focused on sensationalism rather than on sharing information for a legitimate purpose.

By that definition, it sounds (though there are a lot of details missing) like you didn’t do anything wrong.
 
Just curious now: Does it matter if you think the other person wouldn’t mind you telling something? Let’s say it’s somebody who can laugh about him- or herself, and you share a funny story about them, knowing they would laugh along.
That’s different than sharing the same story about somebody you know would feel ambarrassed or hurt, right?
 
First of all it didn’t sound like you mentioned any names. How can you be slandering someone if you don’t mention who it is? Secondly I think gossip has to be something that A) the person would not want spread about themselves and B) done in spite of knowledge of that. If I tell one of my friends that my other friend’s dye job is fantastic, but unknown to me, the other friend doesn’t want anyone to know her hair is dyed, I haven’t really gossiped.
 
Well my Mom does know the guy, she has met him before. Now he usually tells me to say hi to my parents from him. 🙂 I think it’s ok, I don’t think I caused anybody to think bad about somebody else.
 
Kathrin said:
Just curious now: Does it matter if you think the other person wouldn’t mind you telling something? Let’s say it’s somebody who can laugh about him- or herself, and you share a funny story about them, knowing they would laugh along.
That’s different than sharing the same story about somebody you know would feel ambarrassed or hurt, right?
Click to expand...
I don’t think so; not if it’s negative in any way. There’s a huge difference between my telling a funny story about myself and you telling a funny story about me behind my back. If it’s negative, it’s for the subject of the story to tell or not tell.
 
Godfollower said:
I don’t think so; not if it’s negative in any way. There’s a huge difference between my telling a funny story about myself and you telling a funny story about me behind my back. If it’s negative, it’s for the subject of the story to tell or not tell.
Click to expand...
Yeah, you are right, of course.
It may depend on the particular situation though? Maybe on the interpretation of “negative”? But then if doubt, it’s wise to err on the side of not telling. If you feel you might in any way hurt somebody.
But I just imagine, let’s say my parents went to visit my grandparents, we all have a wonderful relationship, and they come home and tell me about something funny that happened with one of my grandparents, and how they all laughed about it, and they’re sure the person in question would want them to share the funny story. I think that would be ok?
 
Holly3278 said:
Gossip is always immoral.
Click to expand...
Actually, gossip is not mentioned in the Catechism.

Some people confuse gossip with Detraction and Calumny.
Both ARE mentioned it the catechism:

**1753 **A good intention (for example, that of helping one’s neighbor) does not make behavior that is intrinsically disordered, such as lying and calumny, good or just. The end does not justify the means. Thus the condemnation of an innocent person cannot be justified as a legitimate means of saving the nation. On the other hand, an added bad intention (such as vainglory) makes an act evil that, in and of itself, can be good (such as almsgiving).

**2479 **Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

**2507 **Respect for the reputation and honor of persons forbids all detraction and calumny in word or attitude.

**2477 **Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:
  • of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor; - of *detraction *who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them; - of *calumny *who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
**2539 **Envy is a capital sin. It refers to the sadness at the sight of another’s goods and the immoderate desire to acquire them for oneself, even unjustly. When it wishes grave harm to a neighbor it is a mortal sin: St. Augustine saw envy as “*the *diabolical sin.” “From envy are born hatred, detraction, calumny, joy caused by the misfortune of a neighbor, and displeasure caused by his prosperity.”
 
Jack17 said:
Doesn’t seem like gossip

I bet Jesus said “mom there’s a friend I’m bringing and she’s a prostitute but she’s a great person”. Not in exact words but the Virgin Mary had to been told about her past and accepted Mary Magdelene.
Click to expand...
From what source do you believe that St. Mary Magdelene was a prostitute?
 
Kathrin said:
Yeah, you are right, of course.
It may depend on the particular situation though? Maybe on the interpretation of “negative”? But then if doubt, it’s wise to err on the side of not telling. If you feel you might in any way hurt somebody.
But I just imagine, let’s say my parents went to visit my grandparents, we all have a wonderful relationship, and they come home and tell me about something funny that happened with one of my grandparents, and how they all laughed about it, and they’re sure the person in question would want them to share the funny story. I think that would be ok?
Click to expand...
Like a lot of things, it’s a grey area. I think the best rule of thumb is to try reversing the situation: if something similar had happened to you, would you be okay with your parents telling other people about it?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top