Is gossiping or talking about someone or a friend to another friend a mortal sin? For example, if a girl I know is bragging to me or saying weird things, and I tell one of my friends about it …but not being mean just talking , would that be a mortal sin? Or even a venial sin?
I think gossip is one of those things that can be hard to define…and I preface it by saying that I struggle with it. Now, as you mentioned, a friend is bragging or saying weird things, you might talk to someone else about it to help you deal with your reaction, or you might be concerned that your friend’s behavior is odd and you want to see if she has been acting this way around other people. You are not talking about her to be mean or to be saying “did you hear what I heard about Kathy?” I sometimes talk to others about something someone did or said because I want advice or even that I find it troubling and need to talk it out with someone.
On the other had, if I am talking about someone to put them in a bad light, then that is certainly gossip. For example, “Did you hear about Jane, she is is dating John but flirting with Dave.” Or if I am just talking about someone to put myself in a good light or to just tell a story about someone with no purpose.
Some gossip can be mortally sinful, if your gossip causes real hurt for someone, we would call that detraction. Yet some of what might be called gossip is simply telling a fact, “Did you hear Paul and Dotty are splitting up?” That could be gossip if they didn’t want anyone to know, or, if it is open knowledge, you are simply informing someone of a fact.
I have discussed this at length with my confessor and it agrees that there are degrees of gossip. The key is to ask yourself if you are hurting anyone by talking about someone, and that someone can be yourself. Yet sometimes, not talking about someone or a situation can itself be hurtful…I learned that by experience.
