Gossipping?

[Kathrin]

Where does gossiping start? Do you ever ask yourself this?

If I tell somebody something about a friend of mine, is that gossping?

I wrote in my live journal about taking a friend to church and some things that happened there. It makes for a good story because he is a formerly homeless guy who has a lot of faith but whose life has been kind of stuck in the same routine… and I spontaneously asked him if he wanted to come to mass. I also wrote about how he went down to the kitchen during mass to get more coffee and another donut… it just kind of belongs to the story. Is that gossiping?

As a poet and writer, this can be a dilemma for me!

But I never try to phrase it in a negative way.

Kathrin

 

[ChangingHeart]

Did he receive Communion? If not, how did you go about explaining to him that he was not allowed to receive, without coming across as elitist and bigoted?

 

[rwoehmke]

It is not gossip to use the material for any story if the person’s identity is not discernible in the writing. Also gossip is most often anything about someone that has the potential of diminishing their reputation when that person is indentifiable to others. Like telling someone my neighbor beats his wife when the person being told is not an authority who can intervene and hence has no right to such knowledge…

 

[BlestOne]

Wait… forget about the gossip thing for a minute… I wanna know about serving donuts and coffee during mass???

 

[Kathrin]

Did he receive Communion? If not, how did you go about explaining to him that he was not allowed to receive, without coming across as elitist and bigoted?

No, he didn’t receive communion. He came back before communion, but he didn’t go.

Wait… forget about the gossip thing for a minute… I wanna know about serving donuts and coffee during mass???

LOL, OK, it was this way: I sometimes help out with the coffee after mass, and since we were early I took him down to the kitchen before mass, and he got a cup of coffee and a donut there, as an exception… ok, now without wanting to gossip more, he IS a bit like a child sometimes, having a big problem with delayed gratification… so it was difficult for him to wait until after mass to get more coffee. So during mass, he left on his own (he is semi-paralyzed too and walks on a crutch), and told me later he had gone back down to the kitchen to ask some guy who was there for more coffee and another donut.

Now see how it is, in a way, a funny little story? And kind of cute too. Because in a way it is a sweet story too about somebody coming to mass…ok, behaving like a child a bit, but it is still a story of friendship.

It is not gossip to use the material for any story if the person’s identity is not discernible in the writing. Also gossip is most often anything about someone that has the potential of diminishing their reputation when that person is indentifiable to others.

OK, the people who read my livejournal don’t know him personally. They do know him from me talking about him. But is it wrong to tell other people about the things you do in life??
I did use his first name.

I think it’s ok. I was careful to not make it sound like I was making fun of him or anything.

Kathrin

 

[BlestOne]

That is kind of a cute story. Of course you can also take it from the stand point of stuff happens that you aren’t in control of too… I am one of those people who can find humor in anything, and as such, I would probably take it from the standpoint that it was my error for taking him there before mass and if nothing else he has discovered the “heavenly” coffee and the “hole-y bread”… but that is just me… not insinuating anything…

 

[Kathrin]

the “heavenly” coffee and the “hole-y bread”… QUOTE]
I like that.

I also try to see the positive and the humour in things. The uplifting part.
For example: At one point when we were praying and I looked over to him, he had his hands folded.


And just the fact that I got him out of his routine. And from what he has told me, he used to go to church. Maybe it has given him a taste again…

Kathrin

 

[rwoehmke]

OK, the people who read my live
journal don’t know him personally. They do know him from me talking about him. But is it wrong to tell other people about the things you do in life??
I did use his first name.

I think it’s ok. I was careful to not make it sound like I was making fun of him or anything.

Kathrin

Kathrin, I really don’t think there is any problem here. To begin with its not like you said anything that would diminish his reputation even if someone did recognize who you were talking about. Be easy with yourself girl.

 

[puzzleannie]

Where does gossiping start? Do you ever ask yourself this?

If I tell somebody something about a friend of mine, is that gossping?
Kathrin

yes if it is detrimental to his character or reputation, whether or not it is true, it is gossip, and possibly also the sin of detraction. You tell only when there is a grave need and overriding concern, such a suicide thread, and then only to someone who has a right and need to know, such as a parent.

writing in your journal, which is not meant to be seen, is not gossip. whether it is advisible is another question, but even in a journal I would not identify people by name, who knows, you might become famous one day and have your journals published.

 

[Kathrin]

It is an ONLINE journal. So it IS for other people to read.
But I don’t think anybody who knows him personally.

Anyway, I have decided that what i wrote really wasn’t anything bad!!

Kathrin

 

[puzzleannie]

it is extremely naive to think that what you post anywhere on the internet is really anonymous, that it cannot be traced back to you, and that the people you are writing about cannot be identified. If you are broadcasting detrimental info about anyone yes it is gossip. I heard a wise saying, that ignorant people talk about material possessions, ordinary people talk about other people, and intelligent people talk about ideas. also, and this is an oldie but goodie, If wisdom’s ways you truly seek, these things observe with care: of whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how, and when, and where.

I realize new technology has left me completely in the dust, but the entire concept of an on-line journal escapes me, since a journal is supposed to be private.

 

[Kathrin]

If you are broadcasting detrimental info about anyone yes it is gossip.

I wouldn’t call it detrimental info. More like a cute little story. But you are right, we need to be very careful.

QUOTE=puzzleannie;3052892]
I realize new technology has left me completely in the dust, but the entire concept of an on-line journal escapes me, since a journal is supposed to be private.

It is a diffenrent kind of journaling for sure. I don’t think you would write the same things as you write in your journal. I often post of my poetry, or to let my friends know what is going on in my life, when I am coming back to town again etc.
And sometimes personal stuff too, yes. But probably not AS personal as in my PERSONAL journal.

Just wondering now though… I do soemtimes write poems about people. But they are mostly positive stories. Sometimes they are sad though too. I make a lot of different experiences with different people, especially as I help out homeless and poor and sick people a lot. There is a lot I want to share about these experiences. I put them down in my poetry. I have never really though of that as gossping.

Kathrin