Got kicked out of my church

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I guess you could possibly be banned if you were considered a threat or danger to the safety of others. But this spat between you and the priest certainly doesn’t meet that criteria.

Sounds as if both of you need a few days to cool down, think and pray about it, then offer apologies.
 
I feel for you, OP, and am very sorry this happened to you.

Having been banned from a church myself, I know it’s an awful feeling. As has been stated, however, this is the pastor’s privilege. In my case the action was more than just a little extreme—it was objectively unfair. I completely disagreed with him, but I accepted my banning without complaint. A month later, Father went back on his original decision and we have not spoken about it since.

I cannot speculate on why your priest reacted as he did, but as I learned with my own, you can’t control how he behaves. You can only control how you behave. As difficult as it may be, I advise you to apologize to him. The sooner, the better; do wait long enough to cool down, but no longer than that. Based upon what you have said, I believe Father owes you an apology as well but you can’t make him give you one nor should you withhold yours until his own is forthcoming. We can’t be happy if we don’t forgive those who wrong us. Once you’ve said you’re sorry, then see what happens. You might see a change right away, or you may have to wait. In all honesty, you may never see anything improve. But wait and see.

If you remained with him in spiritual direction for two years, you must have seen some value in continuing that relationship and he must have seen some value in guiding you. Please don’t throw it all away due to one moment of conflict. Whatever happens, do pray for him.

God bless!
 
so a priest can ban someone? that is like saying I don’t want them to be part of thr Church family anymore.

a Newman Center is not really a club. It is a great place for young people to go who are away from home and generally on campus or near the campus. We have a great priest at our Newman center. I attend Mass there every now and then.
 
Elizium23 said:
I was banned from a Newman Center several years ago. But it was the culmination of a long string of accusations against me, some of which had merit. Frankly I wasn’t too sorry to go, because the place was so liberal I was just about fuming every time I attended a liturgy.
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Did you pull a St. Nick and punch a heretic in the face? Because that and sexual harassment are about the only reasonable accusations I can think of that would merit banning someone from the Newman Center, especially for Mass!
 
At a reflection day for those who had recently done the spiritual exercises, a man told me that he had started the exercises a couple of years prior to this current go and had been told by the spiritual director that he was not ready for the exercises. You have to be open in a way that brings real and significant change in your life and be able to be open to healing of the wounds that prevent you growing.

He may not have ended your spiritual direction relationship well but it may be that things were showing you are not quite ready for the ‘challenge’ of the Spirit.
 
7_Sorrows said:
so a priest can ban someone? that is like saying I don’t want them to be part of thr Church family anymore.
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My understanding: From a parish church, yes, but he needs to have a good reason for doing so. For a Newman Center, I have no idea (they don’t exist where I live).

Judging from what the OP says, the kerfluffle with his priest is not a good reason to kick someone out. However, I get the impression that throwing down the gauntlet is the wrong approach here. It certainly would have been in my own situation. If what transpired between the OP and the priest was indeed the result of a very bad day—something no one can know without getting the priest’s side of the story—chances are higher this banishment will be retracted in short order if what happens next happens with kindness.
 
I"m surprised people are siding with the priest, honestly, as if a priest is allowed to act the way he did with impunity and we’re supposed to follow along subserviently and mend ourselves to meet his expectations. He acts in the place of Christ? Well, sure, but he’s *not *Christ, and he *is *fully human. And he’s the one who is held to a higher standard, not us.
 
UpUpAndAway said:
If what transpired between the OP and the priest was indeed the result of a very bad day—something no one can know without getting the priest’s side of the story—chances are higher this banishment will be retracted in short order if what happens next happens with kindness.
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Yes, yes, yes. I second this wonderful advice!

Christi pax,

Lucretius
 
on_the_hill said:
I"m surprised people are siding with the priest, honestly, as if a priest is allowed to act the way he did with impunity and we’re supposed to follow along subserviently and mend ourselves to meet his expectations. He acts in the place of Christ? Well, sure, but he’s *not *Christ, and he *is *fully human. And he’s the one who is held to a higher standard, not us.
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I’m just as surprised as you. But then at the same time I’m not all that surprised considering the makeup of CAF. What I’d like to know is all of these people who are saying the OP needs to apologize first (which the OP is planning to do anyway if I understood correctly), do they expect the priest to likewise apology? And what if he does not?
 
Sy_Noe said:
I’m just as surprised as you. But then at the same time I’m not all that surprised considering the makeup of CAF. What I’d like to know is all of these people who are saying the OP needs to apologize first (which the OP is planning to do anyway if I understood correctly), do they expect the priest to likewise apology? And what if he does not?
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The priest definitely should apologize, and I would recommend that he mediate on why he acted out of line there, if he ask for advice on an internet forum.

What we are implicitly following in our recommendations is Christ’s command to follow those in authority in all things but sin, even if they are unfair.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

Christi pax,

Lucretius
 
Lucretius said:
The priest definitely should apologize, and I would recommend that he mediate on why he acted out of line there, if he ask for advice on an internet forum.

What we are implicitly following in our recommendations is Christ’s command to follow those in authority in all things but sin, even if they are unfair.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

Christi pax,

Lucretius
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At the same time just don’t forget to likewise follow the recommendations that shepherds not try to rule or lord it over those who have been put in their care, but to rather be examples to the flock. Not to mention all that about humility and receiving this child and that the lesser is the greater.
 
Sy_Noe said:
At the same time just don’t forget to likewise follow the recommendations that shepherds not try to rule over those who have been put in their care, but to rather be examples to the flock. Not to mention all that about humility and receiving this child and that the lesser is the greater.
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I hope that our clergy at least tries to act like Jesus taught them to at the Last Supper 🙂

Christi pax,

Lucretius
 
I am not siding with anyone, nor am I saying the priest’s behavior is acceptable. However, the priest is not here. I don’t have his side of the story. The only person involved that I can talk to is the OP.

It does not matter who apologizes first. With the information we have, I can only say that from the point of view of the OP, the important thing is to apologize regardless of whether or not the priest does…and from the point of view of the priest, the important thing is to apologize regardless of whether or not the OP does.

In matters of charity, we are all held to the same standard. Someone once told me that people should be nice because they’re nice people, not just because others are nice to them. In conflict, I have never gone wrong with responding gently, in kindness, with patience. This is not easy, but I have trouble believing that God is displeased with me because I haven’t been sharp, stubborn, or demanding enough when treated poorly and/or unjustly by others.
 
Elizium23 said:
I was banned from a Newman Center several years ago. But it was the culmination of a long string of accusations against me, some of which had merit. Frankly I wasn’t too sorry to go, because the place was so liberal I was just about fuming every time I attended a liturgy.
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It seems to me that orthodoxy has been a problem at certain Newman Centers. :rolleyes:
 
Sy_Noe said:
I’m just as surprised as you. But then at the same time I’m not all that surprised considering the makeup of CAF. What I’d like to know is all of these people who are saying the OP needs to apologize first (which the OP is planning to do anyway if I understood correctly), do they expect the priest to likewise apology? And what if he does not?
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I’m somewhat influenced not to judge the Priest based on previous posts of the OP such as this one. forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=13008099&postcount=1 There could quite possibly more to this than he has revealed of his motives.
 
LongingSoul said:
I’m somewhat influenced not to judge the Priest based on previous posts of the OP such as this one. forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=13008099&postcount=1 There could quite possibly more to this than he has revealed of his motives.
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That’s not cool. I deal with bipolar and was having an episode then. Do you feel like a jerk, now? Any decent CAF posters, pray for me. I can’t believe someone would post what you just posted. Are you stalking me??
 
Binto said:
That’s not cool. I deal with bipolar and was having an episode then. Do you feel like a jerk, now? Any decent CAF posters, pray for me. I can’t believe someone would post what you just posted. Are you stalking me??
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Binto, I had a friend whose son experienced bipolar episodes so I’m not even bothering to read that post. I’m just going to pray for you. I hope things work out for you at the Newman Center. Peace and God blessings to you always.
 
Binto said:
That’s not cool. I deal with bipolar and was having an episode then. Do you feel like a jerk, now? Any decent CAF posters, pray for me. I can’t believe someone would post what you just posted. Are you stalking me??
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Well, if bipolar gives you a free pass to be abusive and brag about it…how do we know when you’re not being abusive?

And how can you blame someone for calling you out when they didn’t know you were bipolar? It’s almost like you were baiting a trap.

Whatever.

I was on your side with the priest thing, but now I realize I’m really only getting one side of the story. For all I know, the priest blew up at you because you have been causing problems for a long time.
 
Binto said:
That’s not cool. I deal with bipolar and was having an episode then. Do you feel like a jerk, now? Any decent CAF posters, pray for me. I can’t believe someone would post what you just posted. Are you stalking me??
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That’s not a bipolar episode, that’s being a manipulative ******* who put more than a couple of day’s thought into behaving in such a manner. Bipolar is one thing, sociopathy is another!
 
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