J
Jack_Common
Guest
I’m a convert from agnosticism / irreligion. I wonder if you could help me with a problem I’ve been having.
It’s about the co-operation between God’s grace and our human free-will.
It seems to me that there are, mainly, two false approaches.
Quietism: the idea that you should do nothing and wait for God to reveal Himself, because without Him you can do nothing truly good.
Pelagianism (“Loudism”, if you like): the idea that the human will can do good without any assistance by God’s grace.
I’ve struggled with these extremes, because I often go from just lying there doing nothing waiting for God to perform something wonderful for me (and then being disappointed when nothing happens), and trying to pray/meditate but constantly criticising myself for relying on my own will and not God’s grace.
Last night I think I found the solution to this problem and I’m wondering if you more experienced Catholics can confirm that it’s the correct one.
I think my problem results from a immature idea of grace. I thought of grace too much as being limited to really special acts, like sudden illuminations / inspirations, sudden feelings of joy or love, angelic lights, humble feelings, etc. Those special moments of consolation where one is aware of God’s presence in a more sensible way (via the senses). Therefore, I’ve been waiting or trying to have these special graces constantly and being extremely critical with myself or impatient with God when I didn’t get them. I believe this vice is called “spiritual gluttony” by spiritual writers - always wanting to taste sweet spiritual feelings.
My new notion is that whenever we are moved towards God, even if it is not in an altogether perfect or angelic or saintly way, it is God’s grace acting in us, moving us towards Him. So whenever we pray – even if we feel no special sweetness or consolation – it is God motivating us to pray to Him. When ever we find ourselves thinking about God – even if it is in a confused or imperfect way – it is God enlightening us of His presence. This is a much happier view of the life of grace, because it means that:
Anyone else struggled with this kind of problem?
It’s about the co-operation between God’s grace and our human free-will.
It seems to me that there are, mainly, two false approaches.
Quietism: the idea that you should do nothing and wait for God to reveal Himself, because without Him you can do nothing truly good.
Pelagianism (“Loudism”, if you like): the idea that the human will can do good without any assistance by God’s grace.
I’ve struggled with these extremes, because I often go from just lying there doing nothing waiting for God to perform something wonderful for me (and then being disappointed when nothing happens), and trying to pray/meditate but constantly criticising myself for relying on my own will and not God’s grace.
Last night I think I found the solution to this problem and I’m wondering if you more experienced Catholics can confirm that it’s the correct one.
I think my problem results from a immature idea of grace. I thought of grace too much as being limited to really special acts, like sudden illuminations / inspirations, sudden feelings of joy or love, angelic lights, humble feelings, etc. Those special moments of consolation where one is aware of God’s presence in a more sensible way (via the senses). Therefore, I’ve been waiting or trying to have these special graces constantly and being extremely critical with myself or impatient with God when I didn’t get them. I believe this vice is called “spiritual gluttony” by spiritual writers - always wanting to taste sweet spiritual feelings.
My new notion is that whenever we are moved towards God, even if it is not in an altogether perfect or angelic or saintly way, it is God’s grace acting in us, moving us towards Him. So whenever we pray – even if we feel no special sweetness or consolation – it is God motivating us to pray to Him. When ever we find ourselves thinking about God – even if it is in a confused or imperfect way – it is God enlightening us of His presence. This is a much happier view of the life of grace, because it means that:
- I can go forward and act while praying for God’s graceful assistance, without worrying that unless I feel like I’m an angel God is not with me,
- I can thank God for every motion I have towards Him, even if it’s not always a very powerful motion,
- It makes me more aware and therefore grateful of Christ’s being formed in my soul, more grateful for God’s gifts,
- I no longer have to beat myself up for not receiving special illuminations, because those are no longer the foundation of the life of grace but just the occasional “icing on the cake”, so the speak.
Anyone else struggled with this kind of problem?