Grandmother's deathbed experience question

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Tommy999

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Hi all,
I wanted to share something very personal to get your take as to whether this event was consistent with Christianity and whether it could have been legitimate.

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Background**:
I wasn’t there when it happened, but my mother recalled the following event with joy. It happened several years ago and I have kept it to myself up until now because I didn’t know how to process it.

My grandmother was a good and decent Christian woman. She was a Presbyterian. Her husband, my grandfather, had passed away about 5 years before this event and was also a good man and a faithful Christian. He was 87 and she was in her mid-80s. They loved each other dearly and she affectionately called him “Papa”. They had 4 children, and they had been maried over 60+ years.

Event:
My grandmother suddenly became gravely ill from an intestinal complication and died in her hospital room within a couple of days. She was in some pain but was cognizant of her surroundings and wasn’t drugged or delusional, according to family reports.

She was groaning a little and started to have labored breathing at one point in her hospital bed, so a family member went to get a nurse to call a doctor.

While that was taking place, my grandmother suddenly paused and made a big smile as if she saw someone very dear to her at the side of her bed where nobody was standing and exclaimed in a very clear, excited, and audible voice, "Papa" and then passed away.

Question:
Could my grandfather who had passed away five years earlier truly have met my grandmother at the threshold of death and helped her cross over into eternity? Is this consistent with Christian and Catholic Church philosophy and tradition?
 
Thank you for participating on CAF. It’s nice to have many perspectives in the discussions.

We know that we will one day be united with our loved ones in heaven. So this aspect of what you describe is consistent with Christian/Catholic teaching. We really don’t know what that moment will be like, so it is entirely possible that the first face we see will be a familiar one. I’d personally like to see Jesus first thing.

If this happened within the Catholic community and if persons involved wished for it to be declared a “Miracle” several things would need to happen.
  1. The local ordinary or Bishop would need to be involved and he would order an investigation launched.
  2. The investigative committee would need to amass a mountain of evidence with very specific criteria. Most investigations never get this. The situation you describe very likely could not stand up to the scrutiny because of the nature of the event i.e. very few witnesses.
  3. If a committee deemed that there was enough evidence the case would be further sent to the Vatican where scientists would scrutinize it more.
Very few events are declared miracles by the Church even if they gain a wide public acceptance or local cult. This doesn’t mean that they didn’t happen, but it means that the Church has too little evidence to be sure.

P.S. I appreciate your presence here. I came from the Assemblies of God many years ago. Wonderful people that I interacted with. Good luck on your faith journey.
 
I believe she saw your grandfather then. There are other stories like hers that I have heard of.
 
My wife was sitting with my FIL when he was dying in hospital. He had Alzheimer’s disease and was awake and cognizant. He looked at a corner of the room and with a look of joy on his face said out load “They have come for me.” My wife was surprised and bewildered at his animation and he died very soon later.
We don’t know how to take this event but it augers well for some of us with faith in an afterlife.
 
Tommy999 said:
Question:
Could my grandfather who had passed away five years earlier truly have met my grandmother at the threshold of death and helped her cross over into eternity?
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I don’t see why not!
Is this consistent with Christian and Catholic Church philosophy and tradition?
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Yes. The Church believes in the communion of saints, which basically means that those who pass on to heaven before us are still connected to us and intimately involved with our lives.

Your grandfather appearing to your grandmother and helping her into heaven fits very well with that belief. 👍
 
Similar thing with my grandmother. My mom was alone with her late in the night praying the rosary by her bedside. Grandmother was very quiet, eyes closed. Suddenly she lifted herself up and said “Quien es?” (who is that, who is he?) And mama looked back and said no one is here mama, it’s only me, Tulitas. Her mother laid down, smiled and passed,
Mama always said St. Michael cam to get her mother.
These things are so comforting. Mama was completely at ease, although of course, sad. But she felt that an angel had come for her mama.
Thanks for sharing your story, Tommy!
 
Hi Tommy,

I had done hospice for a number of years around the city, doing mainly night cases.

I had one day case, a fill in with a lady who was wonderful to be with, but had a growing infection in her leg, as well as other grave illnesses. However, at night, her condition was total opposite. In the daytime we would interact with each other, and have alot of fun cooking and telling stories. When I came back in the mornings, the night person was telling me how she was screaming at night with so much pain.

And I did not come in to this case expecting any of this, mind you.

Well, it came to the point that the night person told me the client finally folded her arms over her chest as if she was resigning to her circumstances and was going to die soon. In the day time we would continue, but her leg was getting worse. She told me at night it hurt so much basically keeping it in the position it was in, despite various positions.

Two days later or so, she was dying. Her little dog looked up at me when I first came into the room, and i looked back at the dog, and she collapsed to the floor, so sad. The client then told me her mother was standing there away from the bed and looking at me. I was rather non chalant about this. The next day I came in, and it was if there was so much activity in the room, the client speaking to her mother, and then lucidly speaking to us…you could sense her family long gone, was now all aware she was going to be with them…unreal. I could actually sense a number of people there we could not see…and she passed away about 6 hours later in much peace.

I believe in the communion of saints, the holy angels who come to us. Likewise I had two particular clients who were experiencing attacks of the devil and wanted to flee their beds when they were totally bed bound. Both turned to God in their final moments. Afterwards, one daughter told me the behavior of her stepmother over the years, and then it made sense.

They say our last hour of death can be the final attack by the devil to give us much despair and give up on God’s mercy to us. But I have seen several Christians, like the lady I told you about, that passed away peacefully with no distress.

Then my mother died from a heart attack. An hour later or so about 2 am, the phone rang. I picked it up and heard only static. My dad said Mom was trying to get home. I have read that the phone calls with alot of static are normal. Then afterward some sleep, both my sister and I had the same impression of her that she was totally fine and balanced in thought and told us ‘All is OK’. We needed to hear that.

So many experiences like this are common, and the Church considers them personal, each to one’s own interpretation in the loss of loved ones.
 
When my grandfather was on his deathbed, his deceased brother came to get him. Grandpa looked up, then sat straight up in bed, extended his arms out in front of him, and said, “Mike! Mike! Take me!”. My grandmother confirmed that it probably truly was his dead brother Mike, coming to get him.

I knew a lady who’s husband had passed away several years before she did. Every night at 11pm there were three knocks on the wall of her bedroom, and the knocking even followed her when she moved into an assisted living facility. Everyone who stayed in the home heard it. She used to say, “Oh, that’s Daddy”. The very day she finally died, after a long illness, the knocking stopped. She and “Daddy” were together again. My niece was a witness to all of this.

These are the mysteries of life and death. They happen all the time, and are not against Catholic teaching.
 
I have not personally, but I have a friend whose Grandmother was quite close to death, and she began seeing a few loved ones who passed before her.

Some might say it was the medication. If so why passed relatives? I suspect that when one approaches death closely, it might be possible to see those who have gone before us, the veil becomes thin.

We won’t ever know for sure until we are in that position, but one thing I do feel sure about, is that it is a grace from God, to ease the process of passing into the kingdom.
 
When I knew my mother was dieing and there was nothing they could do for her, I told her my father was going to come and take her to heaven to be with him. That she would be with her sisters and all her family and be so happy. She never woke up to see anyone but that helped me a lot.
 
The first time I heard of it was when my Grandmother died in 1988. I had questions like you did. For the past several years I have worked with the terminally ill and have seen it many times since. I have come to see it as one of the signs of a good death.
 
I consider these instances indicative of the Communion of Saints! They provide such peace and comfort to all those around and maybe a little “peek into heaven.”
Mary.
 
Thanks to all for your replies. I wasn’t sure how to process this event with my grandmother up until now and had kept it to myself for a number of years but never forgot it.

However, I had occasionally thought of it and wondered about it.

I felt I could confide in my new friends at CAF because in my heart I felt that I could share it and you wouldn’t ridicule me for it. I was right. Thank you so much! 🙂
 
I believe it’s possible.

I also believe it’s possible that it could be a last bit of electrical energy shot to a region in the brain that causes this type of experience.

I don’t know, so I’ll pray for a peaceful death to find out.
 
Tommy999 said:
Thanks to all for your replies. I wasn’t sure how to process this event with my grandmother up until now and had kept it to myself for a number of years but never forgot it.

However, I had occasionally thought of it and wondered about it.

I felt I could confide in my new friends at CAF because in my heart I felt that I could share it and you wouldn’t ridicule me for it. I was right. Thank you so much! 🙂
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My mom told me that when the night before my father died, he was waking up in the middle of the night restless and having very visual dreams. At one point she said he told her clearly, “look, up there in the corner, do you see the angels going up and down on that ladder?” I never forgot that.
 
Tommy999 said:
Thanks to all for your replies. I wasn’t sure how to process this event with my grandmother up until now and had kept it to myself for a number of years but never forgot it.

However, I had occasionally thought of it and wondered about it.

I felt I could confide in my new friends at CAF because in my heart I felt that I could share it and you wouldn’t ridicule me for it. I was right. Thank you so much! 🙂
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St. Paul said we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses…😃

I have had several deaths in my family and all share the same experience. My grandpa would say the name of my great grandma, great grandpa…my aunt who died of cancer.

My grandma had the same…she would say the name of grandpa…and would say they are in white and she could see them.

Just last year, my aunt said she could see them, and would invite to come over…she would see them in white.

We have taken this to mean that they are near death when they see dead relatives…and sure enough, it would not be long after that they would pass on from their earthly life.
 
Tommy999 said:
Thanks to all for your replies. I wasn’t sure how to process this event with my grandmother up until now and had kept it to myself for a number of years but never forgot it.

However, I had occasionally thought of it and wondered about it.

I felt I could confide in my new friends at CAF because in my heart I felt that I could share it and you wouldn’t ridicule me for it. I was right. Thank you so much! 🙂
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One more thing…i would like to share a sermon from our priest not long ago:

He said that when we are on our way…before the gates of heaven…those that may greet us are those we hated the most in our life on earth and those we have not forgiven…it is then our chance to forgive them and to love them…or go somewhere else…😃
 
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