My mother, a former Catholic, left the church many years ago for this same reason. I asked her one day, “Mom, while you were Catholic did you worship Mary?” Her answer was - “of course not”. As one poster above said, I too have not met any ex-Catholic who has worshiped Mary and i often ask.
I wonder if things get lost in translation. I know that for Catholics, worship is the Mass, offered to God only, so no matter what, unless a Mass is offered to anything else, there is no worship taking place. Yet, I’ve heard, read, and experienced Catholics accusing others of “worshipping” something other than God because they seem overly attached to it, or somehow their demeanor or behavior show that they hold a belief, thing or goal as too high a priority.
Is the same understanding of “worship” being used in both these circumstances? It would seem that no one other than a Catholic is truly able to worship anything because they cannot offer the sacrifice of the Mass to it, yet it is commonly understood that people worship all manner of deities, and things.
I have found it confusing that Catholics, be definition, can only worship God and it’s impossible to accidentally worship anything else, yet others are accused of worship all manner of things inappropriately, including accidentally.
I hear Catholics, have even read articles and heard talks by priests, saying that pagans accidentally worship demons when they think they are worshipping (fill in the blank).
Basically it appears that if someone who is not a Catholic, behaves towards something other than God in the manner that some Catholics appear to behave towards Saints, Angels, or statues, they are worshipping that thing.
I think this is why there is confusion on this issue. Because when anyone else does those things, they are seen as worship, but when Catholics do them, they are not worship. People who are not Catholic and don’t understand all the theology are understandably confused by the appearance.
I think it’s likely to be hard to convincingly explain why, when Catholics do those things, they are completely different than when others do, to people who don’t understand or believe Catholic theology. Especially if/when Catholics consider it worship when others engage in those practices.
Essentially, unless you are Catholic, it’s nearly impossible to understand the difference, it’s a matter of faith.