Gravity of detraction in a specific case

[adgloriam]

But some will, maybe 1 in 20 or so.

Not wanting to contradict, I’m worried about the 19 in 20 that gossip (yeah, being catholic or non-gossiping puts you in a tiny minority.) Then, having a sort of “outburst” out of jealousy or something is quite normal (jealousy, envy, and lack of moral, is what causes most gossip.) I had a visit to the hospital some time ago, and the amount of gossip around me was staggering, only a minority didn’t gossip, and those had obviously the “underhand” in the social game being played.

Lastly, I did meet 1 sociopath once…They are hard to spot and believe me: they tend to be successful. Better even: they are pretty good at fooling everyone except the persons they are targeting. And, more frequently than not, they only target people they have direct power over, never peers, never superiors, and rarely anyone that is in a position to get away from them.

 

[Anrakyr]

Don’t quote me in the wrong thread.

 

[AnneOnymous]

What you’ve said both makes me feel a lot better and scares me at the same time. I appreciate your honesty and insight into this difficult situation!

 

[AnneOnymous]

Whoa, that is insane! I have experienced a number of calumnies in my lifetime, but that’s on another level. Fingers crossed it won’t happen to you again or me ever!

 

[AnneOnymous]

I HOPE that most people wouldn’t do what they described! I think it’s obviously the right move to steer clear of people that twisted.

 

[AnneOnymous]

No, I was referring to a threat against my reputation. I wouldn’t need to ask in the case of a threat against my life, that’s a different echelon entirely.

 

[AnneOnymous]

Those who have normalized gossip in their life can (in an ignorant sort of way) become just as dangerous as full-on sociopaths! Once “little sins” are part of our routine, how long can we hold off on adding the bigger ones? How long would we even want to try??

 

[Emeraldlady]

No, I was referring to a threat against my reputation. I wouldn’t need to ask in the case of a threat against my life, that’s a different echelon entirely.

Ok. It was just that higher up in the thread you had said "What little I know about this person indicates: instability, possessiveness, and unchecked tendencies of rage. I had and still have legitimate concern that this person would try to turn people against me by any means necessary and could pose a psychological or perhaps even physical threat to people I care about."

 

[Emeraldlady]

I feel this thread has got a bit unhealthy. We have somehow come around to suggesting this other person could be a sociopath but based on the minimal information and only the testimony of one. Sociopathy is a serious clinical diagnoses and even psychiatrists are slow to give the diagnosis.

AnneOnymous, I believe you should take this to confession and tease it out with the Priest in a setting of full disclosure. We are strangers on the internet and in an ironic twist, I feel like you’re asking something of us that we are in no place to give. That could be construed as manipulative in itself. Take it to confession and get good spiritual advice from the appropriate place.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Thank you for your response! This is not what I meant exactly, so I will elaborate. I was verbally attacked first publicly, then privately, as well as falsely accused of manipulation by a stranger. In order to seek emotional support and to ensure that my reputation was safeguarded if this stranger told these lies to others that know ME, I told several others about this situation. I gave some of the people this person’s name, but not all, but I know that none of them actually knew the person. Does this change your opinion?

This sounds like self defense.
You’re allowed to protect your reputation.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Meditate on 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

Meditate on Christ’s passion, He was accused of all manner of things yet He did not say one word (He who knew every sin and fault of every one of His tormentors).

 

[PetraG]

Meditate on Christ’s passion, He was accused of all manner of things yet He did not say one word (He who knew every sin and fault of every one of His tormentors).

During His active ministry, He did have a few words for them when they accused Him of being a drunkard and a glutton.
“Then to what shall I compare the people of this generation? What are they like? They are like children who sit in the marketplace and call to one another,
‘We played the flute for you, but you did not dance.
We sang a dirge, but you did not weep.’
For John the Baptist came neither eating food nor drinking wine, and you said, ‘He is possessed by a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking and you said, ‘Look, he is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is vindicated by all her children.”
Luke 7:31-36

 

[TheLittleLady]

However, He never said “An old Matthias Jones, He has committed adultery 4 times this year, He has hatred in his heart and he does not pray as he should”.

Jesus did warn and rebuke people when they sin, however, He did not reveal their sins to anyone else.

 

[PetraG]

However, He never said “An old Matthias Jones, He has committed adultery 4 times this year, He has hatred in his heart and he does not pray as he should”.

Jesus did warn and rebuke people when they sin, however, He did not reveal their sins to anyone else.

Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, saying, “The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues, greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation ‘Rabbi.’ (Matt. 23:1-7)
He didn’t gossip. He did warn people about people they needed to be warned about.

Don’t forget the pearls before swine warning. He definitely warned that there were people that needed to be studiously avoided, because they were not open to repentance but were liable to attack those who got into range.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Again, a warning against hypocritical actions is not a list of sins.

 

[PetraG]

Again, a warning against hypocritical actions is not a list of sins.

The OP isn’t talking about listing the totality of anybody’s sins. She’s talking about direct attacks on her reputation and her relationships with others, not to mention her own sense of reality. These are the kinds of offenses that can mark someone who is a danger to the unwary. When you squander trust in a brazen way like that, you wouldn’t expect your direct victims to protect your access to others among the trusting.

 

[TheLittleLady]

The OP isn’t talking about listing the totality of anybody’s sins.

would it be considered detraction to reveal their fault to people who do not know them and would likely have no previously formed reputation in mind for that person?

Revealing the faults of another on social media is uncharitable.

Love your enemies, do good to them who despise you.

 

[PetraG]

Revealing the faults of another on social media is uncharitable.

Love your enemies, do good to them who despise you.

Yes, I will certainly concede that social media is not the way to do disclosures that require any discretion whatsoever. (On the other hand, I’m pretty much convinced that FaceBook is the devil’s playground, generally.)