Greeting a Priest

[Anne1964]

If a priest offers to hug me, I will hug him back, but I won’t initiate the hug. I think that it depends on the priest. Some are comfortable with hugging and some aren’t. My confessor always hugs me when we first meet, which I like.

 

[Alexander_Roman]

It is good to kiss the priest’s hand and ask for his blessing - it shouldn’t be hindered by culture.

One priest reciprocated by trying to kiss my hand. I scolded him (one has to be careful about these things - he is a priest after all . . .) and told him that it wasn’t HIS hand that I was reverencing, but that of Christ.

Also, even when Eastern Christians speak on the phone or by email with a priest, one always begins with “Bless, Father!” and then ends with the same.

In a letter to a priest, one should end it with, “Reverencing your right hand, I again implore your blessing.”

My priests always respond with, “It is the Lord Who blesses!”

Respect towards priest and bishops is a good thing as opposed to “Hey you!”

Reverencing everyone’s hands here out of respect,

Alex

 

[Bob_Aliano]

Good -Morning, Afternoon or Evening Father or Hello Father does it for me; no hugs (I don’t do hugs in general), hand kissing(!) or even hand shakes unless I’m being formally introduced or he offers his hand first such as after Mass.

 

[malphono]

I would not recommend kissing the hand of a priest by way of greeting him, in this day and age.

It all depends on the the particular ethno-cultural background involved.

It is an antiquated and culturally-specific gesture unknown in contemporary anglophone societies. If you greet a priest in this way he will surely imagine that you are some sort of cooky wingnut.

In our culture, only bishops or other ring-wearing prelates are normally greeted with a baciamano. Even in the case of prelates, however, the gesture is no longer common; a simple handshake is the norm, today. In most cases, it would be considered a bit excessive and theatrical to greet one’s local ordinary in this fashion. I say in most cases. If your local ordinary happens to be a cardinal, it becomes rather less unusual. Cardinals’ rings are still frequently kissed.

Perhaps so, but one must bear in mind that “contemporary anglophone societies” are not the be-all and end-all of existence.

 

[JHow]

I thought I would weigh in on the Polish tradition. This is still operational as of the 1990’s, and I have witnessed it at the Polish parish at Adams St. in L.A., as well. I apologize for the lack of Polish keyboard, so I am not using the diacritical marks, or the nasal vowels below.

The formal greeting is “Niech bedzie pochwalony Jezus Chrystus!” (Christ be praised!)

And the response you get back from the priest is “Na wieki wiekow, Amen.” (For ever and ever amen.)

Sometimes people just leave the phrase hanging “Neich bedzie pochwalony…”

After that, conversation proceeds normally, following the rules of Polish speech, which are very formal. Yes, young people get informal more quickly than others, but your best bet is to remain formal. Preists (ksiadz) are addressed in 3rd person (“the priest”), there is no “you”. Every churchman is “ksiadz” first ,so a bishop is “ksiadz biskup” or “ksiadz kardynal”.

Hand-kissing is reserved for ladies (older ones, that know you, or if they drop their hand on greeting). Men (that know each other) will double-kiss. Every one else will generally shake hands.

 

[MarkThompson]

As long as you don’t say “thanks sir” as I heard a teenager say the other day as I was leaving to greet Father and say my goodbye.

Bah, kids today! Is there no one left that they won’t address as “sir”? :hey_bud:

 

[roveau]

I’d be quite happy to kiss the priest’s hand but it isn’t the custom in most ‘Western’ countries.

Here is sufficient to give a verbal greeting alone or with a handshake or a slight bow.

If it’s the local parish priest or a priest I know I might also give him a little rub on the upper arm or back. A priest, who comes from India, I know at the next parish sometimes gives parishioners he knows a hug as well.

 

[roveau]

As long as you don’t say “thanks sir” as I heard a teenager say the other day as I was leaving to greet Father and say my goodbye.

I remember at High School when I called the visiting priest 'Sir" (so we addressed all the male teachers). He demanded to know if I was Catholic. I of course said Yes. He replied, ‘Well, call me father!’.

 

[Zacdecat]

Traditionally, in some areas, one would genuflect when meeting a priest, on the off chance that he was carrying a Host for someone who was homebound. Others would kiss their hand, or ask for a blessing (in which case one would also genuflect). This is never done anymore, anywhere. Perhaps you might kiss the hand of a priest at an FSSP Mass, or some very traditional EFs offered at regular parishes, but in large part you greet a priest like anyone else, just say ‘Father’ after it. ‘Good day, Father’, etc.

I am truely grateful that it is not required anymore as he would have to haul one fat lady upright again

I have heard some cheeky kids calling out “Yo, bro” to the brothers on one occasion.

 

[Pregustator]

It is good to kiss the priest’s hand and ask for his blessing - it shouldn’t be hindered by culture.

Why is it “good”? And why should one oddly go about kissing priests’ hands contrary to the practices of the normative social etiquette of the culture one is a part of?

In a letter to a priest, one should end it with, “Reverencing your right hand, I again implore your blessing.”

Interesting. I’ve never before read that in any social etiquette manual. In fact, in attempting to research that closing online, the only thing that comes up on Google is this thread. Could it be that the closing you prescribe actually begins and ends with you?

I always think it is a mistake when we substitute subjective pious notions for objective norms of social etiquette. It is a greater mistake, still, to try to present one’s own unorthodox social practices as though they were not only mainstream, but even mandatory for everyone else. *“one should end it with…” *

Perhaps so, but one must bear in mind that “contemporary anglophone societies” are not the be-all and end-all of existence.

Didn’t say they were. I merely said that kissing priests’ hands is simply not something we do in our English-speaking cultures. What is appropriate in Madrid or Sao Paolo or Krakow isn’t necessarily what is appropriate in London or Melbourne or Seattle. When in Rome…

 

[dcointin]

I attended a Ruthenian liturgy a couple of weeks ago, and when I went foward to venerate the blessing cross and the end I kissed the priest’s hand as well, which is the Orthodox tradition. He seemed surprised, and I noticed afterward that no one else did so. Is there a standard Eastern Catholic practice on this?

 

[malphono]

I attended a Ruthenian liturgy a couple of weeks ago, and when I went foward to venerate the blessing cross and the end I kissed the priest’s hand as well, which is the Orthodox tradition. He seemed surprised, and I noticed afterward that no one else did so. Is there a standard Eastern Catholic practice on this?

Might be best to ask this in the EC forum.

 

[SalesianSDB]

Surprisingly, I hug two of my bishops. One of my auxiliary bishops used to be the pastor of my parish from when I was born to when I was about 8. He baptized me, heard my first confession, and gave my my First Communion. He was also good friends with my grandmother before she died. Now whenever I see him (which isn’t too often) he always insists on giving me a hug. A big one at that! It’s funny because I also call him “Father” not “Bishop.” It’s just odd for me to refer to him as Bishop as I knew him personally as my parish priest. I mentioned this to him and he assured me that he doesn’t mind at all and that he is honored when his former parishioners call him Father. We write to each other at times. He knows about my thought of a vocation to the priesthood and sends me literature to read on vocations. He’s a saintly man.

Then there’s our retired auxiliary bishop. He says Mass in our school chapel twice a week before school. I haven’t gone that often lately because I’ve been arriving to school later. However, I do try to go to confession with him when I have a chance. Now when he sees me he greets me with a handshake and a hug.

There is another priest I know who is another saintly man. In my school he helps run a service club for migrant kids so I run into him from time to time. He’s a hugger not a hand shaker.

I guess it’s mostly cultural. The two bishops I’ve mentioned are Cuban (as am I), while the priest is Irish (though it’s been said that he’s been latinized).

And the one time I met my archbishop I shook his hand. When I greet priests I just say, “Good morning, Father” or the like and hand shakes are fine.

 

[michaelpoloniae]

I thought I would weigh in on the Polish tradition. This is still operational as of the 1990’s, and I have witnessed it at the Polish parish at Adams St. in L.A., as well. I apologize for the lack of Polish keyboard, so I am not using the diacritical marks, or the nasal vowels below.

The formal greeting is “Niech bedzie pochwalony Jezus Chrystus!” (Christ be praised!)

And the response you get back from the priest is “Na wieki wiekow, Amen.” (For ever and ever amen.)

Sometimes people just leave the phrase hanging “Neich bedzie pochwalony…”

After that, conversation proceeds normally, following the rules of Polish speech, which are very formal. Yes, young people get informal more quickly than others, but your best bet is to remain formal. Preists (ksiadz) are addressed in 3rd person (“the priest”), there is no “you”. Every churchman is “ksiadz” first ,so a bishop is “ksiadz biskup” or “ksiadz kardynal”.

Hand-kissing is reserved for ladies (older ones, that know you, or if they drop their hand on greeting). Men (that know each other) will double-kiss. Every one else will generally shake hands.

I was curious about this as well when I happily stumbled upon this thread. As a traditional Catholic coming out of a Polish Catholic upbringing, I’ve been seeking similar introductions to “Niech bedzie pochwalony Jezus Chrystus” in non-Polish parishes. I currently attend a TLM parish and it seems as if something is lacking in this regard. Saying “Hello, Father” or “Hey good morning Father Bob” and simply shaking hands or hugging is a bit inappropriate. Even when addressing close priests, priests which are friends of the family, or priests within the family, “Niech bedzie pochwalony Jezus Chrystus” is ALWAYS used before any off-topic or light conversation begins.