Grounds for Annulment?

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I’m leaving out a lot of details because I’m not prepared to receive a lot of advice about this situation from people I don’t really know. While I very much appreciate everyone’s intent to be helpful, marriage counseling is not going to be very effective via a forum.
👍 True dat.

(BTW – one last piece of info: married couples cannot initiate proceedings for a declaration of nullity. For instance, in the U.S., only once a marriage has ended in civil divorce will the Church even begin to entertain the question of nullity. So, if you’re still married, the notion of ‘nullity’ doesn’t even come into the picture.)

I’ll be praying for you, Joe!
 
Sheesh, sorry for all the confusion. I asked a direct, one-sentence question because I was hoping for a specific answer to that question. What I got was a fantastic explanation about the purpose of annulment, which has been very helpful in determining that I do not have a case for annulment.

I’m leaving out a lot of details because I’m not prepared to receive a lot of advice about this situation from people I don’t really know. While I very much appreciate everyone’s intent to be helpful, marriage counseling is not going to be very effective via a forum.

I have learned a lot about this subject and I thank you all.
And the lack of information was/is the reason many were so forthcoming with their explanations… because by that very lack of information, your question became nonspecific.

It is also that lack of information that prompted my original answer, and I stick by that… you need to rule out any medical and any psychological causes for this change in behavior and seek good family and marriage counseling.

I also totally agree that you need to have local marriage counseling and not a forum to help get your marriage back on track.
 
Speaking of proper terminology…

The decree of nullity says that there was no valid marriage as the Church understands marriage. Only a valid marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament.

A Catholic and a Hindu who meet all the requirements and marry according to form are in a valid marriage, not a sacramental marriage. The ‘sacrament of marriage’ was not conferred upon them because one is not baptized and only a baptized person can receive the sacraments. The sacrament of marriage is conferred on both or neither, it can’t be split.
While the issue of marriage between a /Catholic and a non-Christian does occur, the majority of marriages appear to be between a Catholic and another baptized non-
Catholic person. Technically you are correct, but I will stand on my comment that too many people trying to “help out” do not use the term “valid marriage” they simply say that because of an impediment, no marriage occurred. This can cause untold grief when working with someone trying to figure their way through the issues before a tribunal.

Unless one is dealing with a Catholic/non Christian marriage, the term “valid marriage” while technically correct, is talking over the head of most Catholics - whether they married a Catholic, a non Catholic Christian, or a non Christian. Getting into technically correct language with someone who does not even have a reasonable grasp of the concept of sacrament is talking so far over their heads that one might as well be having the conversation with oneself - the other is not hearing you.
 
While the issue of marriage between a /Catholic and a non-Christian does occur, the majority of marriages appear to be between a Catholic and another baptized non-
Catholic person. Technically you are correct, but I will stand on my comment that too many people trying to “help out” do not use the term “valid marriage” they simply say that because of an impediment, no marriage occurred. This can cause untold grief when working with someone trying to figure their way through the issues before a tribunal.

Unless one is dealing with a Catholic/non Christian marriage, the term “valid marriage” while technically correct, is talking over the head of most Catholics - whether they married a Catholic, a non Catholic Christian, or a non Christian. Getting into technically correct language with someone who does not even have a reasonable grasp of the concept of sacrament is talking so far over their heads that one might as well be having the conversation with oneself - the other is not hearing you.
As far as the Church is concerned, no valid marriage = no marriage. The Church doesn’t concern itself with the civil aspect of the marriage, only on the religious aspect of it.

Why should we dance around the truth? When my daughter’s father-in-law asked how the Church viewed her marriage outside the Church I bluntly told him that as far as the Church is concerned she and his son are not married.
 
Why should we dance around the truth? When my daughter’s father-in-law asked how the Church viewed her marriage outside the Church I bluntly told him that as far as the Church is concerned she and his son are not married.
Why ‘dance around the truth’? We’re not – and it’s because otherwise, it would be confusing to people. The issue here is the requirement of ‘form’ – for a wedding of a Catholic to be valid, it must take place in a church. A wedding of two non-Catholic Christians does not; it only needs to follow the form of the spouses’ denomination (and most do not require church weddings). So, unless the explanation to your daughter’s in-laws included that info, it could be confusing – after all, non-Catholics who had the exact same ceremony that your daughter did, could be considered, by the Catholic Church, to be validly married!
 
. . . .
The decree of nullity says that there was no sacrament. It does not say that there was no marriage. That issue is a State issue.
That doesn’t sound quite right to me. The Church also recognizes non-sacramental, natural marriages as valid marriages.

If two non-baptized persons married in a civil ceremony later divorced, and one of them became Catholic and wished to remarry, the prior non-sacramental natural marriage would have to be submitted to the marriage tribunal for a determination as to whether it was valid (and therefore permanent) or not.

At least, that’s my understanding. The Church recognizes most marriages as valid until proven otherwise.

Two baptized Christians who marry, whether Catholic or not, have a sacramental marriage.
 
That doesn’t sound quite right to me. The Church also recognizes non-sacramental, natural marriages as valid marriages.

If two non-baptized persons married in a civil ceremony later divorced, and one of them became Catholic and wished to remarry, the prior non-sacramental natural marriage would have to be submitted to the marriage tribunal for a determination as to whether it was valid (and therefore permanent) or not.

At least, that’s my understanding. The Church recognizes most marriages as valid until proven otherwise.

Two baptized Christians who marry, whether Catholic or not, have a sacramental marriage.
Right, because it isn’t right. 😉 As Dr. Ed Peters, a respected canonist, pointed out recently here, “Not only is the sacramentality of a marriage NOT determined in an annulment case, the question of its sacramentality is not even RAISED in the process. The annulment process is about the validity of marriage and only about validity; a successful petition results in a “declaration of nullity”, not in a declaration of non-sacramentality.”
 
That doesn’t sound quite right to me. The Church also recognizes non-sacramental, natural marriages as valid marriages.

If two non-baptized persons married in a civil ceremony later divorced, and one of them became Catholic and wished to remarry, the prior non-sacramental natural marriage would have to be submitted to the marriage tribunal for a determination as to whether it was valid (and therefore permanent) or not.

At least, that’s my understanding. The Church recognizes most marriages as valid until proven otherwise.

Two baptized Christians who marry, whether Catholic or not, have a sacramental marriage.
I agree with that.
 
Right, because it isn’t right. 😉 As Dr. Ed Peters, a respected canonist, pointed out recently here, “Not only is the sacramentality of a marriage NOT determined in an annulment case, the question of its sacramentality is not even RAISED in the process. The annulment process is about the validity of marriage and only about validity; a successful petition results in a “declaration of nullity”, not in a declaration of non-sacramentality.”
A question for the informed . . . In the case of a marriage in which at least one partner is Catholic, is a valid marriage by definition sacramental and a non-valid marriage by definition non-sacramental? Please explain. (This is an essay question. 😉 )
 
A question for the informed . . . In the case of a marriage in which at least one partner is Catholic, is a valid marriage by definition sacramental and a non-valid marriage by definition non-sacramental? Please explain. (This is an essay question. 😉 )
A valid marriage where a least one partner is Catholic may or may not be sacramental.

The sacramentality of a valid marriage is not dependent on the parties to a marriage being Catholic. The sacramentality is rather dependent on the validity of the baptism of both parties to the valid marriage. Any two validly married, validly baptized persons have a sacramental marriage. They could be two Catholics, a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic, or two baptized non-Catholics. So long as such a marriage is valid, then it is sacramental.

The valid marriage between a person who is not validly baptized person and another person is not Sacramental. It doesn’t matter if the second party to the marriage is validly baptized or not, Catholic or not. There is no sacrament for either party.

In the case where a valid marriage is contracted between parties where at least one is not validly baptized, the marriage would automatically become sacramental at such time as both parties to the marriage become validly baptized.
 
A question for the informed . . . In the case of a marriage in which at least one partner is Catholic, is a valid marriage by definition sacramental and a non-valid marriage by definition non-sacramental? Please explain. (This is an essay question. 😉 )
An invalid marriage means that as far as the Church is concerned there is no marriage. Obviously if there is no marriage, there is no sacrament.

Two Anglicans with no impediments contract a marriage that is presumed valid and sacramental.

Two Anglicans, one of whom is divorced, contract an invalid marriage and thus not a sacramental one.

Two Jews with no impediments contract a marriage that is presumed valid and natural (non-sacramental).

Two Jews, one of whom is divorced, contract an invalid marriage and therefore a marriage that is neither sacramental nor natural.
 
That doesn’t sound quite right to me. The Church also recognizes non-sacramental, natural marriages as valid marriages.

If two non-baptized persons married in a civil ceremony later divorced, and one of them became Catholic and wished to remarry, the prior non-sacramental natural marriage would have to be submitted to the marriage tribunal for a determination as to whether it was valid (and therefore permanent) or not.

At least, that’s my understanding. The Church recognizes most marriages as valid until proven otherwise.

Two baptized Christians who marry, whether Catholic or not, have a sacramental marriage.
One of the posters, as well as Dr. Peters, are excellent at parsing out the finest divisions of Canon law.

What I was talking about was not a parsing of the finer points of the work of the tribunals. I was talking about how we, who know the differences, need to understand that the lay person (usually Catholic, but often non Catholic Christian) trying to come to terms with a divorce, is carrying an enormous amount of emotional baggage stemming from the dissolution of a marriage, As such, the language we need to use in working with them is different than the language of the scholar, the Canon lawyer, and the judges of the tribunal.

It is an oxymoron that a Catholic who is in a valid marriage with another baptized person is not in a sacramental marriage. and the majority, if not the great majority of cases heading for a tribunal are between baptized persons.

perhaps I wasn’t clear; but I can absolutely guarantee that if I - or your, or any of the other posters herein - were to sit down with someone who has been divorced and hit them up with “in the eyes of the Church you weren’t married” there is a high likelihood of starting an emotional storm, one that too often has that person walking (stomping, steaming, fleeing, screaming, storming - take your pick) out of the room in anger/tears/emotional turmoil.

Well, isn’t that just hunkey dorey! Isn’[t that just the most effective thing we could do to try to help someone reconcile with the Church, with Christ, and with themselves?

NOT!

Yes, I know the permutations. They are irrelevant to the person coming in trying to come to terms with a broken marriage.

That is not to say they don’t have their place. But someone coming in to at least look at the possibility of a tribunal review doesn’t give a flying flip as to what the tribunal officially says about the marriage; what they want to do is start the process of reconciliation.

Civil law deals with contracts. In fact, it is a year long first year course for law students. NOTE: It is not a course in covenant.

And to go Dr. Peters one, the validity of a marriage in the eyes of the Church, whether it is between two baptized persons, or one or both non Christians, is about covenant, not about contract. But the tribunal doesn’t talk about covenant either; it talks about validity. Fine; the scholars can parse out all they want; but there is no such thing as a valid non-sacramental marriage between a Catholic and another baptized person. Whether or not the tribunal uses the term “sacrament” or “sacramental marriage”, in the majority of cases, because they are between 2 baptized persons (and usually one of them is Catholic), if the tribunal passes on the validity of the marriage, it passes on the sacramentality of the marriage. A valid non sacramental marriage between two baptized persons is an oxymoron.

To be tedious and redundant, my point is that in counseling people who are seeking whether or not to apply to a tribunal concerning their divorce form another, using legally correct terms is more likely than not to create a significant roadblock for that individual, due to the fact that they don’t understand the nuances which we use when we speak canonically “correctly”.

And for anyone (and I am not directing this at you) who wants to parse it out, that is fine in a discussion of the finer points of tribunal work. But if you are counseling, and I speak from experience, you might want to forego the technical language and not trip people’s triggers. To put it another way, if you are too focused on your own knowledge, stay out of the counseling ring. All too many people who have gone through a divorce (and all too often, a subsequent to a non Catholic “altar” or the judge or justice of the peace) are already significantly on the outs with the "Church. Throwing them into an emotional tailspin will only push them farther away.
 
It is an oxymoron that a Catholic who is in a valid marriage with another btaptized person is not in a sacramental marriage. and the majority, if not the great majority of cases heading for a tribunal are between baptized persons.
Perhaps those are the majority of marriages that are brought before the Church.

I would suggest that nullity cases involving marriages between two non-baptized people or the baptized and non-baptized come up far more often than you are suggesting. The majority of such cases probably involve Catholics who want to marry an unbaptized person who was previously married.

At least where I live we have a large number of immigrants from Asia and the Middle East who do not come from Christian backgrounds.

Of course many such marriages can addressed via the Pauline or Petrine Privilege so the validity of such marriages isn’t an issue. (This was the case with my brother. His future spouse chose to convert to Catholicism from Hinduism so her former marriage was dissolved rather than ruled null.)
 
One of the posters, as well as Dr. Peters, are excellent at parsing out the finest divisions of Canon law.

What I was talking about was not a parsing of the finer points of the work of the tribunals. I was talking about how we, who know the differences, need to understand that the lay person (usually Catholic, but often non Catholic Christian) trying to come to terms with a divorce, is carrying an enormous amount of emotional baggage stemming from the dissolution of a marriage, As such, the language we need to use in working with them is different than the language of the scholar, the Canon lawyer, and the judges of the tribunal.

It is an oxymoron that a Catholic who is in a valid marriage with another baptized person is not in a sacramental marriage. and the majority, if not the great majority of cases heading for a tribunal are between baptized persons.

perhaps I wasn’t clear; but I can absolutely guarantee that if I - or your, or any of the other posters herein - were to sit down with someone who has been divorced and hit them up with “in the eyes of the Church you weren’t married” there is a high likelihood of starting an emotional storm, one that too often has that person walking (stomping, steaming, fleeing, screaming, storming - take your pick) out of the room in anger/tears/emotional turmoil.

Well, isn’t that just hunkey dorey! Isn’[t that just the most effective thing we could do to try to help someone reconcile with the Church, with Christ, and with themselves?

NOT!

Yes, I know the permutations. They are irrelevant to the person coming in trying to come to terms with a broken marriage.

That is not to say they don’t have their place. But someone coming in to at least look at the possibility of a tribunal review doesn’t give a flying flip as to what the tribunal officially says about the marriage; what they want to do is start the process of reconciliation.

Civil law deals with contracts. In fact, it is a year long first year course for law students. NOTE: It is not
a course in covenant.

And to go Dr. Peters one, the validity of a marriage in the eyes of the Church, whether it is between two baptized persons, or one or both non Christians, is about covenant, not about contract. But the tribunal doesn’t talk about covenant either; it talks about validity. Fine; the scholars can parse out all they want; but there is no such thing as a valid non-sacramental marriage between a Catholic and another baptized person. Whether or not the tribunal uses the term “sacrament” or “sacramental marriage”, in the majority of cases, because they are between 2 baptized persons (and usually one of them is Catholic), if the tribunal passes on the validity of the marriage, it passes on the sacramentality of the marriage. A valid non sacramental marriage between two baptized persons is an oxymoron.

To be tedious and redundant, my point is that in counseling people who are seeking whether or not to apply to a tribunal concerning their divorce form another, using legally correct terms is more likely than not to create a significant roadblock for that individual, due to the fact that they don’t understand the nuances which we use when we speak canonically “correctly”.

And for anyone (and I am not directing this at you) who wants to parse it out, that is fine in a discussion of the finer points of tribunal work. But if you are counseling, and I speak from experience, you might want to forego the technical language and not trip people’s triggers. To put it another way, if you are too focused on your own knowledge, stay out of the counseling ring. All too many people who have gone through a divorce (and all too often, a subsequent to a non Catholic “altar” or the judge or justice of the peace) are already significantly on the outs with the "Church. Throwing them into an emotional tailspin will only push them farther away.Well yes, I understand the technical details are best left to the canon lawyers rather than laying the burden on the clients. That’s one reason, I think, for the upcoming synod on such issues—to try to find the best pastoral approaches.

It’s difficult, I’m sure, because most likely those who come to the tribunals seeking a review of their prior marriage have remarriage in mind. And there is a built in conflict in the way the Church, presenting Jesus’ teaching, thinks about this, and the way the secular world thinks about it.

In the secular view, any marriage might result in divorce, and once divorced, the parties are free to remarry.

In the Catholic view, a marriage, if validly contracted, is permanent, and cannot be undone. A marriage, if not validly contracted, need not be undone, because it never existed.

But a person seeking a declaration of nullity nevertheless takes it personally if you tell them that their marriage never existed. It would be so much easier if the Church recognized divorce. But it cannot.

No, I’m not involved in any of the process, and I’m glad of it. I commend all those involved who can be pastoral while also sifting through the technical details.

(As an aside, while pastoral concern is owed to those coming to the tribunal, it seems to me that pastoral concern is also owed in many cases to those who never approach the tribunal. I remember a woman with whom my wife was friends. We went to the same parish. This woman’s husband left her after decades of marriage for another woman. My wife’s friend was devastated. She did not seek divorce or annulment. But the husband obtained both, and remarried. I don’t have any idea of the merits of the declaration of nullity, but it seemed to me to have benefited only one party. I suppose she could have fought the decision, but would that have helped her situation?)
 
Well yes, I understand the technical details are best left to the canon lawyers rather than laying the burden on the clients. That’s one reason, I think, for the upcoming synod on such issues—to try to find the best pastoral approaches.

It’s difficult, I’m sure, because most likely those who come to the tribunals seeking a review of their prior marriage have remarriage in mind. And there is a built in conflict in the way the Church, presenting Jesus’ teaching, thinks about this, and the way the secular world thinks about it.

In the secular view, any marriage might result in divorce, and once divorced, the parties are free to remarry.

In the Catholic view, a marriage, if validly contracted, is permanent, and cannot be undone. A marriage, if not validly contracted, need not be undone, because it never existed.

But a person seeking a declaration of nullity nevertheless takes it personally if you tell them that their marriage never existed. It would be so much easier if the Church recognized divorce. But it cannot.

No, I’m not involved in any of the process, and I’m glad of it. I commend all those involved who can be pastoral while also sifting through the technical details.

(As an aside, while pastoral concern is owed to those coming to the tribunal, it seems to me that pastoral concern is also owed in many cases to those who never approach the tribunal. I remember a woman with whom my wife was friends. We went to the same parish. This woman’s husband left her after decades of marriage for another woman. My wife’s friend was devastated. She did not seek divorce or annulment. But the husband obtained both, and remarried. I don’t have any idea of the merits of the declaration of nullity, but it seemed to me to have benefited only one party. I suppose she could have fought the decision, but would that have helped her situation?)
One does not have to be a history scholar to recall that both John Paul 2 and Benedict made public and direct comments about tribunals taking a pastoral as opposed to factually supported Canon law decision in too many marriages. Given that those issues were never completely vetted publicly, what we are left with is impressions and opinions as to the validity of tribunal decisions.

Neither JP2 nor Benedict struck out at all decisions; rather, they were more narrowly focused.

In any event, I have met a number of people who have felt that the tribunal was wrong, that they are right (that is, they still have a valid, sacramental marriage - those I have met were either of marriages where both were Catholic, or both baptized, one Catholic). In any event, they have made a decision and they stick to it.

And I am not particularly surprised, as those I have met have a very rigid and simplistic understanding of marriage - somewhat along the lines of “I was married in a nuptial Mass by a priest and X number of people, and that ends the discussion.” All of which is another way of saying "You can’t tell me I wasn’t married - I know I was.

Is there a commonality in this statement? See my prior posts, and you will pick it up quickly.

I can’t speak to your friend, but it would not surprise me in the least that she simply cannot come to terms of having made a vow, kept it, and after Y number of years, is now confronted with what seems to her to say she was living a lie.

Which gets back to the other posters (and Dr. Peters) who all want to insist that the whole issue boils down very neatly to validity and not sacramentality. And yes, there are marriages which are valid and not sacramental - but their whole argument misses what is going on in the pew - and with those who no longer deign to sit in a pew.

According to CARA, 7% of those Catholics who are divorced have received a decree of nullity, and 8%, those who have started the process, have not. That leaves 85"% who have not even started the process.
 
I think there is some confusion about what a declaration of nullity actually means, if people are convinced they were “living a lie”. The Church is saying that they did not have a valid marriage covenant, that there were one or more reasons why God did not recognize their marriage. The Church is NOT saying there was no relationship. Obviously, this couple were together for a time, they may have had children, and they had a life together. They have a “history” together. That’s not at issue. What’s at issue here is that their relationship was only a civil contract, it was not a spiritual covenant.
 
According to CARA, 7% of those Catholics who are divorced have received a decree of nullity, and 8%, those who have started the process, have not. That leaves 85"% who have not even started the process.
In many cases those are the people who don’t care what the Church teaches, they’ll do what they want. Usually that means a civil marriage.

Some are in a rush and want to get married again pronto. They do so with the intention of ‘getting an annulment’ later and getting their marriage “blessed”. They never take into consideration the possibility that there is no annulment in their future.
 
One does not have to be a history scholar to recall that both John Paul 2 and Benedict made public and direct comments about tribunals taking a pastoral as opposed to factually supported Canon law decision in too many marriages. Given that those issues were never completely vetted publicly, what we are left with is impressions and opinions as to the validity of tribunal decisions.

Neither JP2 nor Benedict struck out at all decisions; rather, they were more narrowly focused.
From your previous post, I got the impression that you believed the tribunals were paying too much attention to the details, and not enough attention to the pastoral concern for the people involved. But this sounds rather that the concern is just the opposite—that the tribunals leaned too far to satisfy the people and perhaps made wrong decisions as a result. In any case, the tribunal needs to make correct judgments while still acting pastorally.
In any event, I have met a number of people who have felt that the tribunal was wrong, that they are right (that is, they still have a valid, sacramental marriage - those I have met were either of marriages where both were Catholic, or both baptized, one Catholic). In any event, they have made a decision and they stick to it.
And I am not particularly surprised, as those I have met have a very rigid and simplistic understanding of marriage - somewhat along the lines of “I was married in a nuptial Mass by a priest and X number of people, and that ends the discussion.” All of which is another way of saying "You can’t tell me I wasn’t married - I know I was.
If making a vow of lifetime fidelity to another person and meaning it and keeping it, is characterized as a “rigid and simplistic understanding of marriage,” then maybe we could do with a lot more rigid and simplistic understandings.
I can’t speak to your friend, but it would not surprise me in the least that she simply cannot come to terms of having made a vow, kept it, and after Y number of years, is now confronted with what seems to her to say she was living a lie.
I don’t think she believes she was living a lie. She was living her vows. She was confronted with a betrayal, and it probably seems to her that the Church is at least a little complicit in the betrayal, since it gave her husband everything he wanted—a declaration of nullity and permission to marry his paramour.
Which gets back to the other posters (and Dr. Peters) who all want to insist that the whole issue boils down very neatly to validity and not sacramentality. And yes, there are marriages which are valid and not sacramental - but their whole argument misses what is going on in the pew - and with those who no longer deign to sit in a pew.
For any tribunal, the issue must boil down to validity or non-validity, for that is the only issue in question.
According to CARA, 7% of those Catholics who are divorced have received a decree of nullity, and 8%, those who have started the process, have not. That leaves 85"% who have not even started the process.
I’m not sure whether you are arguing for more leniency by tribunals, or less leniency, or faster processing, or better marriage prep, or what. I think again that it is just this pastoral issue that the upcoming synod will address. There are a lot of people in irregular marriages who need help.
 
…Which gets back to the other posters (and Dr. Peters) who all want to insist that the whole issue boils down very neatly to validity and not sacramentality. …
Hello,

I’m not sure what “the whole issue” means in that comment but it is simply a matter of fact that we tribunal people don’t give a second thought to the sacramantality of a given marriage under investigation. If you think you have to explain things in the way you have laid out in this thread to the “people in the pew”, ok. But, don’t expect the Tribunal staff to do the same.

Dan
 
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