Grounds for Marriage Annulment in the Catholic Church

[MaryT777]

I’m sorry to hear this. Unfortunately priests are sometimes lied to, and also the marriage tribunal. When some people get desperate they are willing to do ANYTHING to get what they want.

I can’t answer for the priest because he is not here and we really don’t know your husband did say nor the priest.

I shall pray for your that you can find peace no matter what the outcome is.

God bless…

 

[rcwitness]

I sympathize for your situation, and appreciate your great love for the Marriage. I hope the Truth is upheld!

Not wanting the annulment doesn’t mean it can’t be found invalid, though I personally think it may cause some tribunals to hesitate on passing judgement on supposed claims of lack of consent.

It’s been argued (from those who have great confidence in tribunal decisions) that only solid evidence will be used to prove a nullity. I tend to think that in these grey areas of discerning consent and trusting witnesses of the person’s seeking an annulment the Tribunal can lean towards the desires of the petitioners.

So be honest, but express your beliefs too, with as much evidence as you can.

 

[rcwitness]

To be fair, an inquisition is what it should be.

 

[Mi_Rose]

Some undermined a husband’s authority simply because he won’t demand it with force.

With FORCE? Oh my. You don’t see a problem there?

 

[rcwitness]

Can you first relate what I’m saying, so I know you understand?

 

[Mi_Rose]

I understand. You think a wife might not submit to her husband because he is not forceful enough.
Be submissive one unto the other is what the scripture says.

 

[rcwitness]

No. I’m not saying he SHOULD force it. I’m actually saying he can NOT force it. It must come willingly. Yet she may not afford him that respect simply because it’s not enforced.

 

[Mi_Rose]

How on earth do you enforce respect?
Never mind. You’re right. Everyone who disagrees with you is wrong. I am done.

 

[rcwitness]

Is there a zero tolerance against any occasion of a wife disrespecting her husband an provoking him?

Is one instance of that deserving of permanent separation? Or should he forgive and she should turn?

 

[rcwitness]

You can’t. That’s my point!

Physical violence is not ok. Yet neither is a disrespectful spirit. No kind of abuse is ok.

Both should be judged accordingly. Both can be forgiven and turned from.

Will a wife’s disrespect always escalate to a worse state?

 

[JulianN]

There is a world of difference between speaking disrespectfully to one another, and physical violence.
Of course disrespect (going either direction) is not part of a healthy relationship. But physical violence is a relationship-killer.

 

[rcwitness]

There are 6 types of abuse:

6 Different Types of Abuse - REACH

The commonly held definition of abuse, which we use in all of our trainings, is “a pattern of behavior used by one person to gain and maintain power and control over another.” One thing to note about that definition is that we are talking about a pattern of behavior, in other words, not just one...

reachma.org

Here is the definition of abuse:
“a pattern of behavior used by one person to gain and maintain power and control over another.”

In all cases, the situation and level of the offense matters to me. Not all instances deserve separation. I would weigh the harm done to the children/family of separation.

 

[MaryT777]

This is GREAT advice for one having been trough the process of annulment, the more information you can provide the better. You also can express your opinion of whether or not you feel your marriage is valid and why or why not.

My Canon Law attorney told me the exact same thing.

 

[Gorgias]

If I have it right, the Catholic Church does not recognize the legitimacy of a civil marriage. But you are actually pointing out that they do recognize a civil divorce! Not only recognize it but require it? Wow.

rcwitness:

Well, the Church recognizes it as a bond of marriage. However, it does not equal or replace a Marriage in the Lord (Sacrament).

No. If one or both are Catholic, then the Church does not recognize the civil marriage as valid.

One caveat, though: it is possible to request a dispensation from the requirements of the form of a Catholic wedding (i.e., in a Catholic church, presided by a priest or deacon). Two Catholics typically won’t get this dispensation, but a Catholic and non-Catholic Christian are able to request it. In that case, a marriage celebrated “outside the Church” can be valid – and sacramental, at that!

WRT to @Wannano’s point: no, the Church doesn’t “recognize civil divorce”!!! That is, we don’t look at the divorce and say that it has any canonical effects. However, the Church does notice that the divorce took place and therefore, that the spouses are making a statement that the marriage is broken, and at that point, having noticed it, the Church is able (at the request of the spouse(s)) to initiate nullity proceedings.

So a Priest might actually be performing an invalid marriage because of a hidden or unknown action or attribute of one of the couple?

The priest or deacon does his due diligence in assessing the situation and, if he believes that a valid marriage will result, he celebrates the marriage. He could be mistaken, of course.

Many invalid marriages by Catholics, especially on grounds a lack of proper consent are a sacrilege.

NOT NECESSARILY BY BOTH SPOUSES!

Doesn’t have to be “both spouses”. If one spouse does not have proper consent, the marriage isn’t valid.

What if your marriage is valid? Is it OK to get a divorce if you are in a valid marriage?

Are you asking "what happens if a couple divorces and then attempts nullity, but gets told “no, the marriage is not null on those grounds”?

 

[Gorgias]

She expressed her desire to separate/divorce. Then she asked the priest is she was “right”. He replied, “I am only here for moral support”.

I waited… And nothing more was said, he offered no counsel or prayer.

Did she express any willingness to enter into counseling? Or did she say that she was firmly committed to a course of pursuing divorce? If the latter, then it’s pretty much impossible to get an adult to do something they’re saying they don’t want to do.

And then after some time, he called, and I was glad that he showed concern… But he simply asked “can you give me your wife’s phone number?”

He showed no signs of what he thought should happen or encouragement in any direction to me.

So, as far as you know, he might have called her and offered counseling, right?

I believe wholeheartedly that my marriage is valid —but if my spouse ever hit me or cheated on me we would certainly never live together again.

But I also wouldn’t see any grounds for nullity based on that.

It depends. If you divorced, wouldn’t it be fair to say that you had an intention against the perpetuity of the marriage? Separation with the bond remaining is one thing (as is subsequent divorce for the sake of child support)… but if you mean that you told him “I’ll divorce you if you do X, Y, Z”, that’s a whole 'nother story, isn’t it?

Also, if she doesn’t consummate the Marriage, she still could have it absolved

“Dissolved”.

 

[JulianN]

It depends. If you divorced, wouldn’t it be fair to say that you had an intention against the perpetuity of the marriage? Separation with the bond remaining is one thing (as is subsequent divorce for the sake of child support)… but if you mean that you told him “I’ll divorce you if you do X, Y, Z”, that’s a whole 'nother story, isn’t it?

Yes, I’m talking about separation with the bond remaining. To be fair, if my husband did either of those things, it would be because the universe was now spinning in the opposite direction. I absolutely intended permanence when we married; however, I know I would not live in the same house with someone who did certain things.

 

[rcwitness]

“Dissolved”.

Lol. Funny! My mistake of term!

 

[rcwitness]

No matter the level of physical contact?? Or situation?

Separation with children involved would always be what Jesus would have you do???

 

[JulianN]

There’s not really a level of physical contact that I would consider acceptable. Believe me, in retrospect, I can see leaving immediately after an arm grab would have been the best course of action.

And the children would be a primary reason for the separation – they should not be raised in an environment where they see that occurring.

 

[rcwitness]

Just physical abuse? What about the other 5 types? You don’t care about those? Doesn’t seem consistent.