Growing in holiness through suffering

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Hey everyone. I keep reading about how one can grow in holiness through suffering. How is this possible? How can we use suffering to help us grow in holiness? I know that we can offer up our suffering in union with Jesus’ suffering but how else does suffering help us to grow in holiness?
 
When we unify our sufferings with Christ, it is not just offering up our sufferings to Christ.

Consider the Thief on the Cross. Through his suffering, he endured purgatory here on Earth. Through our sufferings we can be crucified with Christ. Through our sufferings, we tell Jesus, we deserve this, you do not. Through our sufferings we truly share common ground with Christ. The more common ground we share with Jesus, the holier we are.
 
There is the idea of a victim soul. St. Faustina’s diary mentions such people, though I’ve only skimmed it very lightly so not sure how much.
 
Here is one take on why we endure trials and suffering:

James 1:2-8
Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and he will be given it. But he should ask in faith, not doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed about by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord, since he is a man of two minds, unstable in all his ways.

So we ask God for wisdom, not doubting, and we will get it but meanwhile we persevere through our trials. I bet a lot of the wisdom comes from having gone through the trials. For better or worse, if you made it through them in decent health then the game isn’t over just yet. 😉

(as “they” sometimes say, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”) Sometimes I think we have to feel like death before we get stronger.

Alan
 
I have been a follower of the founder of the Passionist Congregation, St. Paul of the Cross, for many years now, and he is a great believer that suffering for our Lord is beneficial to our souls. He, nor his charism, are easily digested though, at least for me. It has taken me a long time to come to grips with his thinking, and I’m still not there totally, but he has helped me come along way in understanding the importance and role of suffering in our lives.

Here are a couple of gems from him -
"Have you ever noticed rocks in the sea, beaten by the tempest? A furious wave dashes against the rock, another and yet another does likewise, yet the rock is unmoved. But look at it after the storm has subsided, and you will see that the flood has but served to wash and purify it of the defilement it had contracted during the calm.
From now on I wish you to be as a rock. A wave dashes against you? Silence! It assails you ten, a hundred, a thousand times? Silence! Say, at most, in the midst of the storm, “My Father,
my Father, I am all Thine! 0 dear, o sweet will of God, I adore Thee !”
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“I wish that all men could understand the great favor that God grants them when, in His goodness, He sends them suffering, and especially suffering devoid of all consolation; for then the soul, like gold which is purified in the fiery crucible, is cleansed, made beautiful, detached from earthly things, and united to the Sovereign Good, without even being conscious of it.”
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“Sickness is a great grace of God; it teaches us what we are; in it we recognize the patient, humble, and mortified man. When sickness weakens and mortifies the body, the soul is better disposed to raise herself up to God.”
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This saint had a very special devotion to the Passion of Jesus Christ and His sufferings, so it is natural for him to believe that suffering plays a significant role in our lives to…
 
Suffering can absolutely make you grow in holiness. It is mysterious in some ways. I had a period of intense suffering that effected about every area of my life, job, family, and the worst mental and physical pain of my life all at the same time. At that time I was still holding on to serious sin in my life and that was the cause of some of the suffering…or perhaps all of it, who knows. At first I just tried to ignore the suffering and console myself with other things. But, the physical suffering got so bad I couldn’t ignore it. I could have gotten upset about it or fought against it in my mind but at that point I believe Jesus gave me a special grace that made me realize I needed to accept the suffering along with the responsibility I had for the sins in my life. Once I accepted that, I believe that it started me on the purgative way. It was only then that I could finally begin to clear away the distorted image I had of God and begin to know him as one who loved me and suffered for me.
 
I think suffering detaches one from love of the world. You start to wonder about the purpose in life and you realizes that fame or success or toys are irrelevant distractions. You start praying more for heavenly things that last forever.
 
Thank you everyone for your replies. I really appreciate them and I am learning from them. That said, I’d like the discussion to continue so please continue posting.
 
Great replies from everyone!

There is a saying in the Army - “there are no atheists in a foxhole”.

What this saying means IMHO, if you are being fired on while in a foxhole, every man will pray to God, period. And obviously, this is a time of great suffering and stress, and God will indeed play a very important role in this situation, just like He will if one is sick or laid up or terminally ill. We will become closer to God in such instances. We have to. We will see our weakness, our mortality and the fleetingness of life at stressful times. If one never suffers in his or her life, than how will we ever truly pull close to God? How will we be able to recognize our weakness’s and nothingness without sufferings? How will we prepare our souls to be with God without suffering? These moments in our lives will provide us with the greatest opportunity to become ever closer to God than we ever could if life were perfect.

This is one reason why I believe that euthanasia is so wrong. Artificially cutting our lives short deprives one’s soul of that final period of preparation to be with God, and the opportunity to become one with Him. In the final moments of our lives here, in those times of great suffering, God gives our souls the final polishing…
 
Suffering allows us to put all our trust in God. I went through a really terrible thing recently and felt completely helpless. I turned to God like never before, I knew my sanity and survival depended on it. The experience was awful but it helped me grow spiritually because I let Him lead me and be my rock.
 
I must agree that it is mysterious. Can I recommend something that is not so mysterious? Try running (assuming you aren’t a runner already).

There is a tee shirt saying that I love - “My sport is punishment for your sport.” In many sports, taking a lap or two around the field is punishment for poor performance during practice or a game. It is punishment with a purpose, to give you better physical conditioning.

Running for its own sake, even if you are training for some kind of outcome like being ready to participate in a race, involves its own kind of suffering. Maybe that is getting up early, being outside when it’s too hot, too cold, or stormy. It can be boring. Things can go wrong and you can get injured.

I’m not really selling it, am I?

What you can learn is that it is important to be there in the moment and not resist the suffering but to enter into it willingly. Further, by learning to enter in willingly, you will later be able to suffer better (suffer well?). I’m not a fan of 5K races. The basic strategy seems to be that you should run, run faster, run until it hurts, and then stay that at that point of pain until you finish the race. This is something that you can practice. For the best performance, you almost have to go beyond yourself. You can see what they mean by “final perseverance,” even if we don’t enter that supernatural kind of grace when we are racing for a trophy, prize money, or even a participant’s medal.

Running is very humbling. There’s no way to lie (you can lie to race officials, but not to the road). There’s no way to avoid the fact that you’ve eaten poorly or missed workouts. You have to acknowledge that you have only so much talent. And yet, you have to keep working to find out where your talent and ability ends because it is further than what you think it is. Sounds analogous to our position as sinners - that no amount of work can get us to God because we need His grace, and yet, we must continue to work.

This kind of suffering helps you to learn certain truths in your very bones. Running helps you to learn some very simple things in a very deep way. I have to believe that other kinds of suffering can do the same and that all kinds of suffering can help us learn the truths of faith in a very intimate way.

If suffering doesn’t make sense to you, I invite you to run. Enter into just a little suffering willingly. Be careful, stay injury free, and even enjoy yourself. But make it hurt, just a little.

All my best,
Billy
 
Above all God desires unity with us. Holiness is a measure of the unity we have with God. Unity of mind and will, and body (Communion).

Prayer is an act of union with God. When we suffer, we can choose to suffer alone or with Christ. Which would God prefer? Suffering is part of our nature…it is unavoidable.

Remembering to “dial in” God when we suffer (or experience great joys) takes work…takes practice, and effort. It takes, in other words, love.

Prayer is a form of union…so is tolerating suffering (in conversation with God) an act of union with God.

Fasting is an act of prayer…it’s prayer of our senses. A great priest I know reminded me to “never fast alone…fast with God…use your body’s pangs to remind you to chatter with God”.

Learning to control the body…putting the mind and will in charge of our body and emotion takes work…again, it takes love…but over time with prayer, regular examination, and the grace of sacraments we can grow in self-mastery…we can become less hinged by the fluctuating and demanding emotions…lust, pride, resentment, other forms of sensuality, vanity, laziness, love of comfort…all of these “drivers” can be tamed, leaving us more able live in union with God during the middle of the day.
 
Suffering wears many hats.

One hat our dear Jesus uses often is an attention getter.
We tend to get lost in the everyday cares and bills of this world.
Suffering makes us realize that there are more important things and draws us back to him.
We start praying. Then we start begging. But we are not forgetting any more.

Another hat is that it is a type of penance. Penance for others who won’t do a spritual thing for themselves. And so the Good Shepherd, who loves especially the lost sheep, asks us to make up for them what they won’t do for themselves. And in doing so, we are the greatest beneficiaries for our many sins are then overlooked by him by helping the ones he loves.

Another hat is to help ourselves become closer to him. There is nothing like suffering to prove just how much we love someone. This tells him just how deep our love goes. It is easy to say “I love you” when everything is easy and goes smoothly. But when the storm hits, then how well do we say “I love you”? We can gain great merit during these times because if we willingly give him our pain out of love, the grace of God within us grows. Which means we become more like him in the important way. This also requires us to make an act of belief in his words as well, for trust pleases him so much.

Another hat is to help us put our spiritual life before our corporal ease. It allows us to develope control and to be strong when the times of temptation come. By putting aside our bodily comfort and willingly clinging to him in suffering, we are able to find the power to do his will and not our own.

Maybe suffering is best summed up by St. Thomas More.

“Tribulation is a gift from God - one that he especially gives his special friends.”
 
And he said to all: If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
Luke 9:23
 
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