Growing irritated and confused by my generation's hypocrisy

[Lost_Wanderer]

I’ll start this by describing a more basic problem: the way I speak.

People tell me when I talk, more than half the time I sound like I’m ticked. If you want a visual representation, try imagining someone who breathes fire with every word.

I don’t mind this around people who I’m on decent terms with. However, when I hear it from people I’ve grown to generally dislike, I just gotta ask: What about me? You think I like the way you talk? Don’t you oughta look in the mirror?

I guess what makes this all the more funny is that it’s not just because they sound ticked when they talk too. Take my mom for instance, we’re on good terms now but she’s long admitted that I got my manner of speaking from her. She too used to tell me that I needed to fix my tone (she still does it but not as harsh anymore).

A less happier example would be my brothers. They tell me as if everything I say is an attack, a rant, or some other splurge of foul temper.

Meanwhile, I’m just sitting there, not being able to say: “What about me? You think you don’t sound wrong to me? You think every word out of your lips embodies gentlemanly eloquence? If you want the truth, all I’m hearing is a culture of narcs and the Church of Gordon Ramsay.”

Now you take those feelings and magnify it to the size of my generation and significant portions of its culture. People like them have no form of moral consistency as far as my Catholic faith goes yet they’re the ones who see themselves fit to preach to me, to give me sermons on how to be ‘sociable’ and ‘understood’.

As if a society can ever understand something it popularly, eagerly, and increasingly rejects…

Honestly, I can forgive this type of youthful inconsistency (being still fairly young myself) but only so long as I don’t see it mixed with the superiority complex that just seems to plague at least half of my generation. I am tired of them calling me lazy and selfish while I struggle to keep my mind together just to do my best and help my family pay the dues. I’m disgusted and confused by people who call me arrogant when I can barely string two words of confidence about myself. Heck, if it’s any indication, I can already hear them whispering in my head as I write this, giving cause to doubt the very substance of this paragraph.

I’ll keep telling them to shut up in my mind at least so you can take it as a sign that I’m still far away from snapping.

Still, the only thing that really burns me is the hypocrisy of my generation.

 

[FullOfThought]

I just want to ask you if you feel that by the way you speak you feel that you are able to get across your feelings and opinions correctly? Or do you feel people only listen to your tone and not the actual words?

I have to disagree with you when you say that you feel that this is a generation issue. I have lived in 3 different countries and have an odd accent, I have to change my accent, vocab and tone to ensure that I am being understood correctly. I agree that it can be frustrating sometimes and I do get annoyed at others lack of trying to understand, but I don’t want to have hatered or annoyance at othe people because of cultural differences.

I believe that a large part of being Catholic is the patience and understanding of our peers, and that sure does not always come easily. These thoughts that you are having about others annoying you so much are not pure, charitable thoughts.

There really is no harm adjusting your tone or vocab to have adequate conversation with others, it’s not changing who you are in any way but it allows for better communication, just as speaking another language would.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I just want to ask you if you feel that by the way you speak you feel that you are able to get across your feelings and opinions correctly? Or do you feel people only listen to your tone and not the actual words?

Tone. It also irritates me when they don’t care to at least wonder how their tone carries over to me.

I believe that a large part of being Catholic is the patience and understanding of our peers, and that sure does not always come easily. These thoughts that you are having about others annoying you so much are not pure, charitable thoughts.

My problems go beyond tone. It’s this twisted sense of moral superiority that you’d usually attribute to the worst of religious but instead it has now infected an already egotistical secular culture.

There really is no harm adjusting your tone or vocab to have adequate conversation with others, it’s not changing who you are in any way but it allows for better communication, just as speaking another language would.

I actually agree with this and my current job has even taught me a thing or two about the value of good communication.

The thing is my issue, again, goes beyond communication. It goes beyond how I speak and more on the hypocrisy of my generation’s culture.

I just thought it’d be easier to understand if I started with a simple problem.

 

[houseofsaul]

This I believe it is unfair because someone’s voice does not have the inflection another person “feels” it should have. I have a very flat tone. My voice does not inflect. I was raised not be emotional or whine, which is what I call inflection.

People can tell by what words you say and the body language you use to know what type of feeling should be behind it.

I have worked the phone jobs for a good many years and even though my “Customers” did not feel or complain that I was being rude, the “management” always deducted points from my fon quality for not having inflection.

Inflection if forced sounds fake just as it should be. There is enough stereotyping in the world without having to listen to someone while because I voice did not show the cheerfulness they felt the conversation warranted.

 

[Rudy_Baga]

Your voice, body language, facial expression and breath patterns are all perfect expressions of who you are. If you can accept that, the you can begin to try and understand why you are expressing in a specific way. It is a large step toward becoming who you would prefer to be.

 

[houseofsaul]

Your voice, body language, facial expression and breath patterns are all perfect expressions of who you are. If you can accept that, the you can begin to try and understand why you are expressing in a specific way. It is a large step toward becoming who you would prefer to be.

Unfortunately I am not gonna spend time monitoring my expressions, my brrathing patterns, etc to guarantee someone gets that warm fuzzy every time they talk to me. People need to man/woman up. They have become too soft and self absorbed.

 

[Actaeon]

I’ll start this by describing a more basic problem: the way I speak.

People tell me when I talk, more than half the time I sound like I’m ticked. If you want a visual representation, try imagining someone who breathes fire with every word.

I don’t mind this around people who I’m on decent terms with. However, when I hear it from people I’ve grown to generally dislike, I just gotta ask: What about me? You think I like the way you talk? Don’t you oughta look in the mirror?

I guess what makes this all the more funny is that it’s not just because they sound ticked when they talk too. Take my mom for instance, we’re on good terms now but she’s long admitted that I got my manner of speaking from her. She too used to tell me that I needed to fix my tone (she still does it but not as harsh anymore).

A less happier example would be my brothers. They tell me as if everything I say is an attack, a rant, or some other splurge of foul temper.

Meanwhile, I’m just sitting there, not being able to say: “What about me? You think you don’t sound wrong to me? You think every word out of your lips embodies gentlemanly eloquence? If you want the truth, all I’m hearing is a culture of narcs and the Church of Gordon Ramsay.”

Now you take those feelings and magnify it to the size of my generation and significant portions of its culture. People like them have no form of moral consistency as far as my Catholic faith goes yet they’re the ones who see themselves fit to preach to me, to give me sermons on how to be ‘sociable’ and ‘understood’.

As if a society can ever understand something it popularly, eagerly, and increasingly rejects…

Honestly, I can forgive this type of youthful inconsistency (being still fairly young myself) but only so long as I don’t see it mixed with the superiority complex that just seems to plague at least half of my generation. I am tired of them calling me lazy and selfish while I struggle to keep my mind together just to do my best and help my family pay the dues. I’m disgusted and confused by people who call me arrogant when I can barely string two words of confidence about myself. Heck, if it’s any indication, I can already hear them whispering in my head as I write this, giving cause to doubt the very substance of this paragraph.

I’ll keep telling them to shut up in my mind at least so you can take it as a sign that I’m still far away from snapping.

Still, the only thing that really burns me is the hypocrisy of my generation.

I’m confused by something: how does the fact that they treat you with a little vinegar excuse your tone to them? I don’t think God makes any provision in the commandment for charity for those who take a negative tone with us.

Since there is precisely ONE person whose tone and demeaner you can control in this situation (you), then there’s really only one course of action to be recommended in keeping with the church’s teachings: be charitable. Not because you like someone or not, and not with any intention that they HAVE to be charitable back to you. Simply be charitable. Work on your tone and means of approaching others and put a little less weight on how they speak or making them earn your charity. I have a strong feeling that changing, permanently, your basic approach to others will at first seem to have no effect, then throw them off-guard, and then (hopefully) bring them to treat you with more respect as well… but that all hinges on the fact that you, and you alone, have the power to change your behavior (with help from Christ)

 

[Carlan]

Wanderer, the secret to always growing irritated and confused by the people in your life is prayer. The prayer for God to change you into the person you are meant to be.
Only you can do that, change yourself with God’s help. We can’t change others only ourselves.
God will help you do it,trust Him and as a result others will change.
Peace , Carlan

 

[coachdennis]

Unfortunately I am not gonna spend time monitoring my expressions, my brrathing patterns, etc to guarantee someone gets that warm fuzzy every time they talk to me. People need to man/woman up. They have become too soft and self absorbed.

You don’t have to do anything at all.
But remember, people have the right to man/woman up (to use your words) and reject your personality and your message because of how you choose to present yourself.

 

[CaptFun]

I’ll start this by describing a more basic problem: the way I speak.

People tell me when I talk, more than half the time I sound like I’m ticked. If you want a visual representation, try imagining someone who breathes fire with every word.

I don’t mind this around people who I’m on decent terms with. However, when I hear it from people I’ve grown to generally dislike, I just gotta ask: What about me? You think I like the way you talk? Don’t you oughta look in the mirror?

I guess what makes this all the more funny is that it’s not just because they sound ticked when they talk too. Take my mom for instance, we’re on good terms now but she’s long admitted that I got my manner of speaking from her. She too used to tell me that I needed to fix my tone (she still does it but not as harsh anymore).

A less happier example would be my brothers. They tell me as if everything I say is an attack, a rant, or some other splurge of foul temper.

Meanwhile, I’m just sitting there, not being able to say: “What about me? You think you don’t sound wrong to me? You think every word out of your lips embodies gentlemanly eloquence? If you want the truth, all I’m hearing is a culture of narcs and the Church of Gordon Ramsay.”

Now you take those feelings and magnify it to the size of my generation and significant portions of its culture. People like them have no form of moral consistency as far as my Catholic faith goes yet they’re the ones who see themselves fit to preach to me, to give me sermons on how to be ‘sociable’ and ‘understood’.

As if a society can ever understand something it popularly, eagerly, and increasingly rejects…

Honestly, I can forgive this type of youthful inconsistency (being still fairly young myself) but only so long as I don’t see it mixed with the superiority complex that just seems to plague at least half of my generation. I am tired of them calling me lazy and selfish while I struggle to keep my mind together just to do my best and help my family pay the dues. I’m disgusted and confused by people who call me arrogant when I can barely string two words of confidence about myself. Heck, if it’s any indication, I can already hear them whispering in my head as I write this, giving cause to doubt the very substance of this paragraph.

I’ll keep telling them to shut up in my mind at least so you can take it as a sign that I’m still far away from snapping.

Still, the only thing that really burns me is the hypocrisy of my generation.

You seem pretty together to me Lost Wanderer. But I know what you are talking about.

Tones of voice dripping with sarcasm, augmented with a scowl or as little as a raised eyebrow change the meaning of anything said in the mind of the receiver.

I had a relative like that. Any request he made of me was in the tone of voice of a person who’d just been ignored five times by rude me - when it was the first time he’d asked. His "… look, stupid, I know I can’t POSSIBLY depend on you to do this or do it RIGHT but …) tone of voice made me sort of want to confirm his worst fears after being spoken to like that in front of others.

As for your generation, it’s hard to tell. There is a sort of defense mechanism in a superiority complex - I confess that to be part of the crowd in my new school, I might make fun of a “goat” to raise my social status … and not BE the goat or butt of others’ put downs.

Freed of the groupthink people are different. You are wise to reflect on YOUR problem as you are. It can cost you - and from what you say - it doesn’t really express the real you (it’s just an acquired habit of speech, like an accent). Also it’s what you can control.

MY generation is vast and complex. It’s reputation, when I was growing up, seemed to be
defined by the older folks. The media reported on juvenile delinquents, hippies, runaways, school problems, and drug addicts among us. Parents sort of had to be goalies: they tried to keep bad from you and risked spoiling you (I had good parents!) so they didn’t affirm you as much (it seemed to us).

So generations sometimes get a bad rap. It’s the individual that counts.

Good luck in your self-improvement program. Let God’s love and encouragement was over you from time to time … and make that time it’s worth it! You are after all His beloved child!

**“Now get OUTTA here. I MEAN it!” ** < Comedian Bill Murray. Said with a BIG grin and a HAPPY, fraternal tone of voice (full of fun). An affectionate and comical good-bye. The WORDS notwithstanding

 

[PJH_74]

Lost Wanderer - I think this is a rather hard one to answer given that none of us really know or see you in person. Your writing style doesn’t appear to be too bad, I certainly didn’t read you as “crazy angry”. Sometimes though people can me more or less thoughtful sounding in writing. More thoughtful because they have time to organize their thoughts or less so because they are less inhibited. Maybe you are more of the first.

I personally have to watch myself due to the engineering background I have. I’m more likely to consider the cold facts of a sitution and not the emotions of the person I am talking to. It’s not that I don’t care about the person’s feelings, I just make a quick jump to solving or trying to categorize the problem. I often must remind myself to listen more and talk less. That’s a common problem for many people, maybe that’s the case here too.

 

[CesarAugustus]

I have a similar situation, regarding both tone and people expectatives.

First, some people (even familiars) think I’m insulting them… (I don’t even use swearing or bad words!.. maybe they don’t like that someone doesn’t play along with their thinking…), others think I’m too cold or distant, or that I’m too proud (they don’t seem to get that there are introverted people, like me). They think something is wrong with me, that is a must to behave in certain “normal” way… be more sociable (more sociable? with people that don’t like what I have to say?), etc. I think that some of the advice is well intentioned but misguided.

What I do now? Be more patient, don’t answer to possible provocations, and think more before giving an answer. And pray more about these issues. That is the most important part.

I often see that kind of “moral” superiority of some people. Is like secualr Pharisaism.

Blessings!

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I’m confused by something: how does the fact that they treat you with a little vinegar excuse your tone to them? I don’t think God makes any provision in the commandment for charity for those who take a negative tone with us.

It’s no so much as I’m incapable of working on myself. It’s the hypocrisy. I can’t stand it any more purely because it’s starting to go against my sense of moral obligation.

And again, it’s not just my tone. It’s the way my whole generation is as preachy and hypocritical as the same religious they accuse of corruption.

You say we’re called to be charitable. Don’t forget that we’re also called to uphold justice. I see no justice putting up with these secular Pharisees.

MY generation is vast and complex. It’s reputation, when I was growing up, seemed to be
defined by the older folks. The media reported on juvenile delinquents, hippies, runaways, school problems, and drug addicts among us. Parents sort of had to be goalies: they tried to keep bad from you and risked spoiling you (I had good parents!) so they didn’t affirm you as much (it seemed to us).

So generations sometimes get a bad rap. It’s the individual that counts.

Yeah well, I don’t just count on the media. I’m counting on some really bad personal experiences. It just really grates my sense of justice to be preached by people who have the least moral credibility (at least as far as Catholic standards go).

It’s like this one picture I saw my friend post on Facebook. It said something along the lines of “The one thing wrong in this world is that the smartest people always have doubts and the dumbest ones always have confidence.” I consider myself the former and have grown completely frustrated with the latter.

They think something is wrong with me, that is a must to behave in certain “normal” way… be more sociable (more sociable? with people that don’t like what I have to say?), etc. I think that some of the advice is well intentioned but misguided.

Exactly! Like I said, this problem folks have with the way I talk seems to extend beyond it. I have no problem adjusting myself but to be told by someone who is so far from his place to lecture me…

Oh yeah and that’s another example, being ‘sociable’? I’ve been told countless times that I should get out more. I should connect with people more.

Half of it comes from nice, well-meaning people. The other half comes from backstabbing trolls. You wanna know what gets me both laughing and fuming? It’s the idea that the former would say even more of the same thing to the latter.

Speaking of the latter, it really burns me that they make so many assumptions of people yet entitle themselves to be the measure of everyone’s worth. You tell me I don’t go out much and yet you assume to know everything there is about me? Wow, all hail the omnipotent troll. You figured me all out even though you I say spend most of my time holed in my little house in the hills.

I often see that kind of “moral” superiority of some people. Is like secualr Pharisaism.

Thank you for giving me the best set of two words to describe the object of my loathing.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Still, the only thing that really burns me is the hypocrisy of my generation.

I think that the only thing that is different in your generation is that it has become socially acceptable to show one’s beliefs and opinions down people’s throats. It is all about me me me and it is out in the open and for everybody to know. As you correctly observe, the secular culture has embraced all the worst aspects of self wrighteous religious fundamentalism. Not so long ago it was considered extremely impolite to behave in such a way, and in some cultures that is still the case. (Of course, what people really think and say in private is a different matter, but that is not the question here.)

 

[Marc_Anthony]

My favorite is the “trap statement”.

“You get angry so easily! It’s annoying!”

“I DO NOT get angry easily!”

“SEE?”

The only way out of that is to call the person out on it.

I’m going to be bitter for just ONE moment. That’s it.

Long story short I acted like a real jerk this year (I’m not proud of it at all) and alienated a lot of people, including a close friend. Hopefully I’ll see him again soonand then I plan to tell him that it’s my fault and I apologize, because it was my fault and I really am sorry.

Like I said I acted like a real jerk all year and alienated a lot of people, who apparently were talking about me nastily, not necessarily behind my back, but about me when I wasn’t around (they would have told me to my face if I was there).

I figured out that my friend was one of the people talking about me, and he admitted it to me later, to his credit.

Now my one moment of bitterness (this’ll be good to get off of my chest). What made me mad is that he had EVERYBODY, and I mean EVERYBODY, agreeing with him instead of me. And not just because I acted like a jerk. That was most of it, yes, I admit it, but it was beyond that. It was, if people heard me say my version of the story and heard him say his, they believed him. And why? Because he’s popular.

Now, okay. I had been a jerk. I said things I regret. But I didn’t like that he acted like he had no skeletons in his closet. He was the lead in one of our play and called one of his co-stars a ******. When people aren’t around, he’ll say negative things about them all the time. He hated our director, and I mean hated, but he would go up and smile in her face and act nice around her all the while just trashing her behind her back to the point where he nearly went to the principal because of her.

And yet, he was popular. And I was not. So he could afford to have flaws, whereas I could not.

Okay. I feel better now, so I’ll end it on a positive note. The friend I am referring to is really a great guy. He is nice to everybody he meets, he is friendly, he is hard-working, helpful, and really an all-around great person. And it was absolutely, totally MY fault that any of that happened. I want to make it clear. It is my fault, not his, that we’re not speaking. And that I was alienated by people. They were right, I was a jerk, and I truly regret it. Blaming somebody else would be a cowardly way of making excuses.

I just wish I had the courage to contact my friend and apologize.

 

[CesarAugustus]

Exactly! Like I said, this problem folks have with the way I talk seems to extend beyond it. I have no problem adjusting myself but to be told by someone who is so far from his place to lecture me…

Oh yeah and that’s another example, being ‘sociable’? I’ve been told countless times that I should get out more. I should connect with people more.

Half of it comes from nice, well-meaning people. The other half comes from backstabbing trolls. You wanna know what gets me both laughing and fuming? It’s the idea that the former would say even more of the same thing to the latter.

Speaking of the latter, it really burns me that they make so many assumptions of people yet entitle themselves to be the measure of everyone’s worth. You tell me I don’t go out much and yet you assume to know everything there is about me? Wow, all hail the omnipotent troll. You figured me all out even though you I say spend most of my time holed in my little house in the hills.

Thank you for giving me the best set of two words to describe the object of my loathing.

You’re welcome!

Yes, is really annoying. They seem to have a set of standards and stereotypes that one must fit so they can understand what’s going on. Maybe is another thing, but sometimes it seems that is the former.

They want quasi religious obedience to at least discutible things. I prefer to ignore their rants. Even if they are near to me.

Blessings!

 

[fred_conty]

A famous well liked person in the 1920s said that he never met a person who he didn’t like - Will Rodgers.

I think that is the key. If we like people, we smile even tho it may be a small one.
Mother Teresa was asked one time by a group of people who were going back home what would she recommend that they do? She said, smile.

Now if we think over the people who we know and like, what do they look like when you see them. Isn’t it usually with a pleasant little smile? At the very least they are not looking bored, tired, or unpleasant. They have a way about their look that attracts. Anyone can have a smile, at lease a little one.

I usually have one. And I notice people in stores smile back at me. Sometimes it catches me by surprise and I wondered why they were smilling at me. And then I realized I was smiling more than I usually do.

The secret to smiling is to realize how good God is and how he loves every individual and how wonderful it is to know him. It suddenly becomes a great world and the thought just bleeds thru to the face and eyes. And then you want to wish everyone a great day.

Just a thought.

 

[Cat]

I’ll start this by describing a more basic problem: the way I speak.

People tell me when I talk, more than half the time I sound like I’m ticked. If you want a visual representation, try imagining someone who breathes fire with every word.

I don’t mind this around people who I’m on decent terms with. However, when I hear it from people I’ve grown to generally dislike, I just gotta ask: What about me? You think I like the way you talk? Don’t you oughta look in the mirror?

I guess what makes this all the more funny is that it’s not just because they sound ticked when they talk too. Take my mom for instance, we’re on good terms now but she’s long admitted that I got my manner of speaking from her. She too used to tell me that I needed to fix my tone (she still does it but not as harsh anymore).

A less happier example would be my brothers. They tell me as if everything I say is an attack, a rant, or some other splurge of foul temper.

Meanwhile, I’m just sitting there, not being able to say: “What about me? You think you don’t sound wrong to me? You think every word out of your lips embodies gentlemanly eloquence? If you want the truth, all I’m hearing is a culture of narcs and the Church of Gordon Ramsay.”

Now you take those feelings and magnify it to the size of my generation and significant portions of its culture. People like them have no form of moral consistency as far as my Catholic faith goes yet they’re the ones who see themselves fit to preach to me, to give me sermons on how to be ‘sociable’ and ‘understood’.

As if a society can ever understand something it popularly, eagerly, and increasingly rejects…

Honestly, I can forgive this type of youthful inconsistency (being still fairly young myself) but only so long as I don’t see it mixed with the superiority complex that just seems to plague at least half of my generation. I am tired of them calling me lazy and selfish while I struggle to keep my mind together just to do my best and help my family pay the dues. I’m disgusted and confused by people who call me arrogant when I can barely string two words of confidence about myself. Heck, if it’s any indication, I can already hear them whispering in my head as I write this, giving cause to doubt the very substance of this paragraph.

I’ll keep telling them to shut up in my mind at least so you can take it as a sign that I’m still far away from snapping.

Still, the only thing that really burns me is the hypocrisy of my generation.

I hope I’m not missing something here.

I think you should stop worrying about others and take care of your own faults. You are only responsible for your own holiness, not theirs.

Here is an excellent passage of Scripture for you, straight from our first pope: I Peter 3: 15 and 16 (italics mine, particularly applicable to your question). “But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to every one who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence, and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.”

Here is another great Scripture for you: Phillippians 4: 5 “Let your forbearing spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.”

The words “forbearing spirit” can best be translated as "sweet reasonablness."

My question to you is, “Are you actually accomplishing any real change for the good?”

If you are in a position where your speaking actually has the potential to bring about change, and you think that your manner of speaking is truly bringing about change, then carry on and God bless you!

E.g., lawyers, politicians, teachers. These people all rely on speech to persuade others of various truths. If you are in this camp, and what you are doing is working–you are winning cases, you are swaying other politicians to vote for your good laws, you are exciting students about various truths–then go ahead and continue speaking the way you do.

BUT–if you are NOT in a position to effect changes by your speech–then why are you talking like a little snot?

As Christians, we are supposed to be doing good works, being light and salt in this world, living out the Kingdom of Christ on this earth, brightening the corner where we are…you get the idea.

We aren’t just supposed to talk about things, we’re supposed to DO things.

I think it’s possible that your manner of speaking is possibly doing more harm than good, or at the very least, not doing any good. You probably aren’t persuading anyone, and you may be ticking people off, especially older people who generally hold more power, money, and influence to be able to bring about the “justice” that you seek. Older people like me want to see honest and sincerity, but we also want to see good manners and an open, pleasant exterior.

Even if you speak God’s truth, we will be extremly put off by an arrogant, “prissy”, know-it-all NPR (I shudder when I listen to their broadcasters, even if they are good ones like the ones on Planet Money!) attitude.

You will be amazed at how much more effective you will be as a Christian if you use a gentle, pleasant, open, well-modulated, firm, and reasonable tone.

The best conversationalists manage to make OTHERS feel important, even if they disagree with them.

My father is a great example of this–he’s just a farmer/worker, but he knows EVERYONE, and when he walks into a restaurant or any public setting, people look up, wave, smile,and call out a greeting. I’ve watched him talk to them, and much of his conversation consists of questions about how they are doing and what they think, and more importantly, he LISTENS and makes eye contact, and often doesn’t say much other than offering a sympathetic recognition of what they are saying.

So my very sincere suggestion to you is to seek out a voice coach and ask them to help you speak in a kinder, gentler, more reasonable way. Many actors (especially out-of-work actors!) will be happy to help you learn to modulate your voice.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

The secret to smiling is to realize how good God is and how he loves every individual and how wonderful it is to know him. It suddenly becomes a great world and the thought just bleeds thru to the face and eyes. And then you want to wish everyone a great day.

I think I’ve long discerned that I don’t have the temperament to adopt that kind of optimistic world view. (And yes, I’ve tried. Just keeping my mind only waist-deep in pessimism already taxes my sanity.)

So my very sincere suggestion to you is to seek out a voice coach and ask them to help you speak in a kinder, gentler, more reasonable way. Many actors (especially out-of-work actors!) will be happy to help you learn to modulate your voice.

It’s not that I’m closed to change. Heck, even if I couldn’t change, I’m quite willing to admit I’m a bit of a snarling wyrm when my speech gets a little more animated.

It’s just that if I’m going to be lectured, I’d rather, if as much as possible, get it from someone who encourages me. I want someone who isn’t so egotistical and eager to make me feel like a failure. I am sick of lectures from secular Pharisees ringing in my head. I may not be cut out to be a charismatic leader but I’m certainly more likely to follow the one who has more integrity.

And besides, I don’t think it’s really fair either to be caught up in the external. At some point, I really wish people would just eventually let me be. It’s not like I tell anyone how to talk anyways.