Growing patience?

[Elisabeth51]

I don’t know if this is the right area…I had a long talk with my organ professor yesterday around my lesson about my level of patience with myself (near zero mostly) and the accompanying frustration. I tend to be a perfectionist, and it’s completely driven by me…I don’t like public attention, I hate recognition–I do thing behind the scenes in my parish and like it that way, my parents encouraged me to do well but were never harsh about it, I was to do my best, but there was no punishment for making less than an A or anything like that. I want to everything I do perfectly even if I’m the only one that knows. So, short of calling disaster on myself by praying for patience…any ideas on increasing patience with myself? I have learned patience with others, it’s patience with myself I have the hardest time with, in the context of my lessons it’s accepting that I can’t do it perfectly NOW—mentally I do know that, but somewhere in there, that’s the expectation – why is it taking so long?

 

[ProdglArchitect]

Why would you be calling disaster on yourself for asking for patience?

I beg God for patience almost daily. Like yourself, I am a fairly impatient person. Not exactly a good trait when you have to work with people.

God will never turn us away or reprimand us for turning to Him in our weakness. I say pray to God for his grace and for patience as often an endlessly as necessary. The drive to improve is the important thing ^^ Also, pray for self-awareness, and the ability to accept yourself as you are, and the drive for constant improvement. There’s nothing wrong for desiring perfection, just don’t berate yourself constantly when you don’t obtain it. Whenever you find yourself getting angry at yourself, try focusing on what lead you to make the mistake, and then try to focus on ways to avoid such a thing in the future. This turns the anger / impatience into a constructive exercise.

 

[Elisabeth51]

Why would you be calling disaster on yourself for asking for patience?

I beg God for patience almost daily. Like yourself, I am a fairly impatient person. Not exactly a good trait when you have to work with people.

God will never turn us away or reprimand us for turning to Him in our weakness. I say pray to God for his grace and for patience as often an endlessly as necessary. The drive to improve is the important thing ^^ Also, pray for self-awareness, and the ability to accept yourself as you are, and the drive for constant improvement. There’s nothing wrong for desiring perfection, just don’t berate yourself constantly when you don’t obtain it. Whenever you find yourself getting angry at yourself, try focusing on what lead you to make the mistake, and then try to focus on ways to avoid such a thing in the future. This turns the anger / impatience into a constructive exercise.

Thank you! I will try that!!

As for the why I don’t want to ask for patience, everyone I know that has asked for patience from God has been heaped with more troubles—like, ok here, you want patience, learn the hard way—I don’t think that really sounds like God, but it seems to happen that way to those I know, and I already have enough outside problems—trying to share a household with my widowed sister we both only have pt jobs and never know from one day to the next if we will have food or gas or money for the utility bill…I had hoped I was going to get more work at my job, but I’m too efficient and after two weeks of having more hours, I was told there was no more work for me to do.