Growing up and discovering family and friends don't share the same faith or ideals?

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How do you deal with relatives and friends you were acquainted with when you were a kid (or a young adult) that you really didn’t know that you now come to realize are highly liberal leaning in their thinking (despite claiming to be catholic) and anti-catholic? And worse, always making comments that are derogatory to the faith?

For one example, my wife has a friend who always wants to get together. Yet when she does my wife always comes back upset because her friend always makes these snide off hand comments about the church or conservatives. My wife wanting to “keep the peace” doesn’t speak up and let’s it roll off her sleeve but I can tell it upsets her when she comes home. Likewise she has a sister that is the same way. Always making little jab comments against the church and openly speaking her (highly liberal) opinions whenever the opportunity arises. Same with a few of my friends and relatives. I met up with some I knew as a teen who moved away and are now back and after a series of casual meetings decided to play some golf together on a regular basis. Now I am seeing who they really are and am offended often by their opinions and open disregard for morality and the church. (Amazing that all these I have mentioned claim to be catholic???)

Anyway, how do you deal with people, relatives and friends, who now that you are finally getting to know them are showing themselves to be quite outspoken liberals?
 
k5thbeatle said:
How do you deal with relatives and friends you were acquainted with when you were a kid (or a young adult) that you really didn’t know that you now come to realize are highly liberal leaning in their thinking (despite claiming to be catholic) and anti-catholic? And worse, always making comments that are derogatory to the faith?

For one example, my wife has a friend who always wants to get together. Yet when she does my wife always comes back upset because her friend always makes these snide off hand comments about the church or conservatives. My wife wanting to “keep the peace” doesn’t speak up and let’s it roll off her sleeve but I can tell it upsets her when she comes home. Likewise she has a sister that is the same way. Always making little jab comments against the church and openly speaking her (highly liberal) opinions whenever the opportunity arises. Same with a few of my friends and relatives. I met up with some I knew as a teen who moved away and are now back and after a series of casual meetings decided to play some golf together on a regular basis. Now I am seeing who they really are and am offended often by their opinions and open disregard for morality and the church. (Amazing that all these I have mentioned claim to be catholic???)

Anyway, how do you deal with people, relatives and friends, who now that you are finally getting to know them are showing themselves to be quite outspoken liberals?
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Each situation may call for a different approach, some more direct, others a little more tact, but what must not happen is a failure to support the Church and her teachings. You can always state that you are surprised by their position and asked how they reconcile that with being a Christian or Catholic. Be ready for some heat concerning the subject matter.

In my case I was for a long time the only practicing Christian in my family, and in some cases the only one that believed in God. Over time, I found each person could be approached in different ways, and in some cases this took years. It sure is not something to fix with one conversation. In some cases it meant the end of a relationship, but that is the price we sometimes pay for believing in God and the Church.
 
Are these people aware that your wife’s political and religious view are on the conservative side? These people may assume she shares their opinions and so they don’t guard their mouths from making unkind remarks.

I handle such situations with liberal relatives by making my views known and occassionally I even engage in debate. Sometimes I just ignore their comments. It really depends, but if someone repeatedly made rude comments, I would definitely make sure they were aware that those I found their comments “intolerant”. I’d be sure to throw liberal buzz words like “intolerant” back at them. 😃
 
I know firsthand how difficult it is to remain silent or even start to defend the faith. Either way it leaves you extremely frustrated. Sometimes, people are closed to anything contrary to their beliefs.

Sometimes the best thing you could do is to pray for them and offer this struggle up to God.

Peace.

+JMJ+
 
Sometimes we have to draw lines and insist on boundaries. I would tolerate few people ridiculing my Church. Insist on a certain amount of respect. If people cannot respect us, we have every right to limit our contact with them.
 
Maybe a little Socratic dialectic will silence bad opinions without being aggressive. Just don’t get yourself executed!
 
jmj777 said:
I know firsthand how difficult it is to remain silent or even start to defend the faith. Either way it leaves you extremely frustrated. Sometimes, people are closed to anything contrary to their beliefs.

Sometimes the best thing you could do is to pray for them and offer this struggle up to God.

Peace.

+JMJ+
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Amen.
 
For the most part they all know where we stand to answer one reply. What we are discovering is that we want to be around these people less and less. I feel bad about that but it is how we feel as it would seem there is no room for rational discussion with most of them. If we do it seems to “take” for a while but soon they are back to their old ways. My thought is to therefore keep them at a distance while praying for them. (although keeping them at a distance isn’t always practical)

Thanks for the replies.
 
“Catholic” people like them is everywere. Everywere. Inside the family, friends, etc.

I’ve been to missions (missions!!) with “catholics” like that and they even atack you for your traditional beliefs and even get offended by it. One of my friends who preached the love of God through what he’s experienced and what has learned in his movement, was ostrazised, criticized and brought down to tears because they took it personal and complained he was an arrogant show off and blah blah. They even tried to censor him because it could offend their kids. (How so??)
I know that many spoke ill at me at my back for defending the Truth.

I have to constantly bite my tounge. They distroy my nerves, and sometimes I badly argue with them, and I’ve found that that’s the worst I can do. Fighting so much envy, criticism and hatred with love sounds impossible. I know that I should defend the real faith with love. And that’s what’ll make me different from them and their personalized liberal catholicism.

They get the worst out of me, and that’s also allowed me to see the missery within my own heart. It shows me how much I need God and how much I need prayer. And to realize how I can’t love my “enemy”.
 
Been there, done that.

I come from a family of 8 siblings and we were all raised Catholic, and now are in our 50’s and 60’s. Three of us still go to Mass, but of those, two are liberal Catholics (vote for Obama, contraception OK, etc.). I’m the only traditional Catholic left. This whole baby-boomer generation is like this, it seems. The kids I went to Catholic high school with–most dropped their faith.

What I’ve found is that I’ve had to just become more strongly attached to the faith community of my parish–people who still pray and share my values.

It makes me sad…one would think that at least our siblings would retain the values we learned from our parents, but that isn’t always the case. 😦
 
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