Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I'm so ticked off!

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Paris_Blues

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I was washing dishes last night thinking of stuff in general. (I also want to point out DON’T wash dishes with the TV off! I think if I had EWTN on, my mind would be focusing on that then what was on my mind! lol!)

However, I had terrible, awful thoughts and feelings come to me and I realized them and I did the best I could to push them away because they could even lead to mortal sin! :eek:

I don’t get it! Everytime something like this happens, I quickly pray to our Lord and all that to give me the grace to overcome them and not even thinking or feel the terrible thoughts, feelings. But how come nothing happens? I know that we have to be patient but I’M TALKING ABOUT NOT SINNING!!! Let me explain. I got frustrated enough that I got a little angry and prayed, “Lord, I don’t understand You sometimes! You hate sin and I do too but why when I ask for the Grace to take these thoughts and feelings away, You don’t do a thing? And YOU hate sin!! What’s the deal?”

I know it’s that concupisence (temptation to sin) that stayed within me that felt like I was sinning but fought so hard to not. I didn’t intend or willed to think the way I did or felt the way I did but that either tells me:
  1. Should’ve had EWTN on
  2. Sign saying I shouldn’t go to Daily Mass (because I was going to sometime this week).
  3. Test to purify me
  4. The devil loves to do what he does
  5. How weak I am
  6. Of course, the effect of Original Sin
I went through a spiritual heartache after that. I HATE the effect of Original Sin! Why? I HATE offending Almighty God! I HATE sin! Therefore, I got upset at the fact that Original Sin had to be had here in this world because look what it did to the human race for crying out loud! It’s terrible when you’re trying so hard not to sin but the effect is there. Make sense? I think it was Fr. Francis who once said that concupience it’s like a 10 legged spider that clings to our souls so to speak.

It’s a hassle of a struggle.

Now, can anyone tell me what is going on here? How can I overcome this? “By praying” is a cliche that is getting old (though it can be helpful). Something else?

P.S. Not to mention that I didn’t feel like going to Mass after all thinking that I just committed a sin. The devil laughed at that I’m sure.
 
Sounds like the same kind of stuff St. Paul writes about - at least you know you are in good company and completely human.
 
St. Augustine, too! “Why do I do the things I hate?”

Also there is a great Relient K song (hard rock/punk Christian band, great lyricists!) about this. “Give me a reason/this isn’t a treason…”

Don’t be so hard on yourself. All of us struggle with thoughts that could lead us to sin. The right thing to do is focus on getting rid of them as soon as we see them for what they are- threats to our eternal salvation!

Sometimes silent prayer leaves room to continue a thought simultaneously. One thing that helps me is humming or singing OUT LOUD a hymn at church, or keeping a Christian radio station playing… but I’m a musician, so I identify with that really well. Sometimes it seems like exactly the right song will come on to move me totally to tears. If I’m really in a funk and want to sit on my pity potty, I turn it off! 😛

Nothing burns my ears more than Christopher West when I’m feeling unchaste! :rolleyes: Just do something PHYSICALLY in addition to mentally and spiritually to help you turn your focus elsewhere.

Also, have you talked to your priest about scrupulousity??
 
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vluvski:
Also, have you talked to your priest about scrupulousity??
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I don’t think the dude has time!! 😦
 
Paris Blues:
It’s a hassle of a struggle.
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That’s one way of saying it.
How can I overcome this? “By praying” is a cliche that is getting old (though it can be helpful). Something else?
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Confession (duh). Study helps–it can give you your own library of thoughts to consider, your own personal EWTN in your head, if you will.
P.S. Not to mention that I didn’t feel like going to Mass after all thinking that I just committed a sin. The devil laughed at that I’m sure.
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You may feel that way, but did you in fact commit a mortal sin? From what you say I’m not so sure. If it makes you feel better, sit in the back pew during Mass and reflect on Luke 18:10-14. And of course, remember you aren’t alone.
 
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marcadam:
You may feel that way, but did you in fact commit a mortal sin? From what you say I’m not so sure. If it makes you feel better, sit in the back pew during Mass and reflect on Luke 18:10-14. And of course, remember you aren’t alone.
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I hope not. I don’t think so, like I said, I was FIGHTING to get rid of it!!! But it kept creeping back on me and fought again…grrrr!!!
 
Sometimes random thoughts enter our head either by the media -tv/radio/movies, some outside event, we see something /someone tempting, or from the deceiver or just by pure chance…

The fact that a thought comes in, is NOT sinful in itself. IF we are disciplined enough to quickly discard such thoughts as useless and potentially dangerous, there is no problem whatsoever.

The sin comes into play, IF we dwell on these thoughts and allow them to further influence our thinking, and perhaps even influence our behavior.

It takes a bit of practice and training to discipline yourself to easily discard such thoughts. First off you have to have the desire to control your thinking, and to avoid sinful situation. It sounds like you have that covered.

Then it takes time to develop a good working strategy to recognize potentially dangerous thoughts or ideas and to quickly get rid of them. One way is to determine what interests you have that are not sinful, a hobby, or sport or something else that interests you or maybe just some chore or task that you need to remember for that day or the next. Then you need to start diverting your thoughts to these other interests whenever a temptation comes along.

It takes a bit of practice to do this automatically or semi automatically. You need to be aware of what you are thinking about and sometimes that too can be difficult to observe 100% of the time.

We may not always be successful, but what is important is that we always keep trying. Never give up hope and always get back up to try to do better. Even St Francis said, make me pure but not just yet.

That is not an endorsement to sin, but it is a realization that no one becomes a saint until after they are buried. It is along journey, so we must not get discouraged and give up before we get there.
 
Paris, think of it this way. If the devil is trying to influence you, it’s only because he thinks he’s losing you (and that’s a good thing!). He’s not going to waste any time dealing with people that are already headed his way.

So take heart. If the devil thinks you’re worth the fight, they you must be doing someting right. Daily Mass? You betcha! You’re going to get something out of daily mass that you don’t get on the weekends. Everyone at Daily Mass is there because they want to be there, not because they have to. It starts to sink in, even to the point of making you feel like you’re unworthy to be there among people who love God as much as these people do. I love the humility that this instills in me (note my username).

One last note, be careful when you pray to get these thoughts out of your head. When I was a teenager, and I tried to curb my ever-present lustful thoughts, I would say a Hail Mary, or an Our Father. As you can imagine there were a lot of prayers being thown out by this teenager.

The problem is, our little minds begin to associate cause and effects, you know, that whole Pavlov thing? Imagine my embarrassment when I’m at church praying the Our Father and…

Notworthy
 
Don’t forget to ask others to pray for you as well. When you feel the thoughts coming on, pray the prayer to St. Michael the archangel to defend you in the spiritual battle (sometimes I repeat this prayer out loud several times). Ask your patron saints and/or your favorite saints to pray for you.

We all go through struggles like these. It’s important to remember you are really not alone – there are many in heaven who are anxious to pray for you if you ask them!
 
So many great saints were tormented by the devil incessantly. I think many of them were even possessed by demons because they were spiritually strong enough to fight them and reclaim their bodies. I think St. John Vianney had poltergeist demons that would snatch his blanket off him as he slept and toss his bed around. We should all be thankful for the simpler torments we endure, though not complacent because of their less drastic nature.
The Saint Michael’s prayer is good for helping you in your spiritual battle, and the Hail Mary is wonderful for driving away demons. When i get ugly song lyrics stuck in my head, i try to change the words to the words of the Hail Mary until the tune, when it does re-arise, only reminds me of the prayer words.
My husband has an obsessive disorder and when an ugly thought gets in his head, it just replays over and over until he’s nearly driven insane. He says distraction, such as thinking about an interesting homework problem, often helps because prayer can often get warped into an ugly blasphemous thought by the initial sinful thought he’s trying to oust. Your other posts do make it seem as though you may be scrupulous. Stay close to the Lord through prayer, go to weekly confession if possible, daily mass if possible, and remember that scrupulosity is yet another tool of the devil to keep you from the Body and Blood of our Lord. Get a good confessor and only see him. 👍
 
Write a favorite Bible passage, or prayer, on an index card and stick it up over the sink.

One I find particularly helpful is, well, it’s two put together actually…

He will feed his flock like a shepherd,
he will gather the lambs in his arms,
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young. Isaiah 40:11 (RSV) **

28** Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30 (RSV)

I can be a weary lamb in my Shepherd’s arms.
 
Dont get angry, get humble yourself. Try not to fall, but if you do its ok, just make it a point to repent at that moment and then get to confession if its grave. You are weak and you are a sinner, and that is ok given that you are faithful and obedient to the Lord, especially by repenting and confessing when you sin.

Imagine you are a child, does a parent want his child to be frustrated when she makes a mistake. Nay, if its a good parent, while he expect his child will make mistakes, he’ll want the child to let it go and try to do the right thing. If that is true with a good parent, how much more does the Lord want that from you.
 
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you guys are viewing this thread just because you think I’m sooo emotional!! :o

You’re thinking, now what Paris is up to? She’s too darn emotional.
 
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