Grumbling and Murmuring

[Peregrinans]

In the Didache it states: “My child, be not a grumbler, for this leads to blasphemy,” and other translations says: “…be not a murmurer…” and I know in several places in scripture it warns against murmuring/grumbling. I also know that in practice grumbling or complaining often leads to cursing and blasphemy. (Even if you don’t say it out-loud) The question is how do I stop? So many times during the day someone, or some entity such as the government, celebrity or media, will do something irritating or thoughtless, and/or stupid and I start to complain. And before you know it I am in a bad mood and probably said a few bad words and I might even take the Lord’s name in vain. (I always say a quick “I’m sorry,” but I really need to stop). When I am on my own I can usually avoid these things, but when I am out and about talking with people…the complaining begins. And quite frankly it seems that the majority of conversations nowadays consists of moaning about something. So what do I do, just stand there and not join in the conversation, never offer an opinion? How do I involve myself within the world and remain above the fray, so to speak?

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

Yes , you do make a good point, if you wish to avoid the things you speak of,
Then not even under your bed on a cold dark night will these things escape you,
And that is because ,that’s life, most of us Grumble & Mumble to some level of severity,
You just need to discipline your mind,and choose your friends carefully

 

[christofirst]

It takes conscious effort to avoid grumbling and murmuring. Try not to foster the underlying negative attitude which feeds and leads to murmuring. Stay aware, as much as possible, of your good intention to avoid that which tears apart instead of building up. When you’re with others and the conversation turns to grumbling, try to change the subject, or find something positive to say. If you’re alone and your mind becomes dark with such thoughts, try to count your blessings, or pray for the person or situation that is troubling you.

The Rule of St. Benedict also cautions against murmuring, understanding how divisive this can be when it becomes a habit and goes unchecked. You might want to google, “St. Benedict on murmuring” for a wealth of commentary that has been written on the subject. Here is one example:

worthabbey.net/images/pdf/nick-murmuring.pdf

 

[WingsOfEagles]

Not my circus, not my monkeys. Repeat as needed.

In all seriousness, a quick silent prayer when you are tempted to grumble can help.

 

[chataranga]

“Not my circus, not my monkeys, repeat as needed.” Absolutely love it!!!
In all seriousness op-sounds like you've already gotten some really good advice. The difficulty comes with the diligent following of that advice. Peace and be well.

 

[Peregrinans]

It takes conscious effort to avoid grumbling and murmuring. Try not to foster the underlying negative attitude which feeds and leads to murmuring. Stay aware, as much as possible, of your good intention to avoid that which tears apart instead of building up. When you’re with others and the conversation turns to grumbling, try to change the subject, or find something positive to say. If you’re alone and your mind becomes dark with such thoughts, try to count your blessings, or pray for the person or situation that is troubling you.

The Rule of St. Benedict also cautions against murmuring, understanding how divisive this can be when it becomes a habit and goes unchecked. You might want to google, “St. Benedict on murmuring” for a wealth of commentary that has been written on the subject. Here is one example:

worthabbey.net/images/pdf/nick-murmuring.pdf

Thank you for this link it was very interesting. Especially the part about murmuring being a diversion away from God. I agree. And thanks for all who have responded to this thread. I KNOW what I have to do I just have to actually DO it. I have begun to pray for a quietness of mind in my daily prayers. Let’s hope I start to make some progress. Today was not a peaceful day, but like Annie said, “there’s always tomorrow.”

 

[ready]

I believe that now is the time for you to become a more of a listener and less of a speaker, bite your tongue the moment you wish to speak a complaint. Throughout the day tell yourself that you will not complain if you get irritated and tell yourself that you will speak less with others, unless you are in a crowd that is not a near occasion of sin for you. Focus on good things like Jesus, Mary, your Angel Guardian, Heaven, etc… And pray, pray, pray. Fill your mind with good Catholic pious reading and not with junk that would make it easy for you to fall into complaining. You will be in my prayers. God bless you.